X-treme Wrestling Federation
ratings confirm: john blaq is a star - Printable Version

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ratings confirm: john blaq is a star - John Whyte - 04-21-2017

we have even more breaking news: as evidenced by the bottom of the barrel talent of the xwf turning into church mice while john blaq was away getting his dick sucked by gabe reno's stankass momma, it can be confirmed that john blaq is indeed the face of the franchise

the future april star of the month will be releasing his hotly anticipated first promo for his sham of a match against mezian within the coming days, and not a moment too soon as the xwf is seeing less action that colton kato's christian mingle profile


re:ratings confirm: john blaq is a star - Vincent Lane - 04-21-2017

How about showing up for the fights you're already in, dipshit?


ratings confirm: john blaq is a star - John Whyte - 04-21-2017

how about putting on an entertaining product that can survive two days without me?


re:ratings confirm: john blaq is a star - Vincent Lane - 04-21-2017

Oh please. Show ratings are higher than they've ever been! Network subs are up 10% month to month! PPV buys from Lethal Lotto nearly doubled the last Lotto!

That's not even counting merch sales that are hot fire, with everything except your shitty replica masks selling like hotcakes.



ratings confirm: john blaq is a star - John Whyte - 04-21-2017

probably because I didnt endorse them personally you lesbo kyke, these idiots aren't going to buy your knockoff bullshit


re:ratings confirm: john blaq is a star - Vincent Lane - 04-21-2017

We got the whole supply from a cardboard box that was sitting outside of your 'locker room,' aka the unisex bathroom in the Federweight Hallway. You wrote 'sell these for five bucks, ' on the box with marker. Don't pretend you didn't make those masks.

By the way, next time you want to negative 69 your life partner Garaputo in there, lock the damn door.



ratings confirm: john blaq is a star - John Whyte - 04-21-2017

well ain't that something, portia de rossi takes a five minute break from clit wrestling that ellen bitch to try her hand at being a comedienne

you done hoe? just standing here right now is lining your pockets and not even you can deny there ain't anyone here as popular as me

or you just hating because you cant hack it anymore?


re:ratings confirm: john blaq is a star - Vincent Lane - 04-21-2017

Hilarious.

My whole career was made by pinning jackasses who couldn't think of anything better to talk about than how pretty I am, and that wound up with me spending a calendar year as Universal Champion.

Also, I own your ashy ass, so don't forget that.

Seriously, seriously ashy though, dude. Your whole body looks like Flavor Flav's elbow.



ratings confirm: john blaq is a star - Super Mario - 04-21-2017

Vinnie my man, whaddya doin' wastin time wit' this goin nowhere fast wannabe eh? I swear every time he opens his mouth it's like he's stealing Paul Heyman's finishing move for chrissake!

and Blaq if you so much as say ONE WORD about me I'll stomp you flat as a goomba wit'out breakin' a sweat an' leave your ass with a mouth fulla broke teeth bent in all different directions and your face disfigured by my boot prints
so if your feeling froggy go ahead jump I dare ya!


re:ratings confirm: john blaq is a star - John Whyte - 04-21-2017

(04-21-2017, 03:21 PM)Super Mario Said: Vinnie my man, whaddya doin' wastin time wit' this goin nowhere fast wannabe eh? I swear every time he opens his mouth it's like he's stealing Paul Heyman's finishing move for chrissake!

and Blaq if you so much as say ONE WORD about me I'll stomp you flat as a goomba wit'out breakin' a sweat an' leave your ass with a mouth fulla broke teeth bent in all different directions and your face disfigured by my boot prints
so if your feeling froggy go ahead jump I dare ya!

queer


ratings confirm: john blaq is a star - Super Mario - 04-21-2017

pfft hah! that the best you got! callin me a queer? gimmie a damn break why dont you look in the fuckin' mirror before you say that especially with a face like yours only a mother could love! scratch that cause when ya mother gave birth to you and she saw how you came out with a face like that I bet she prolly wished she'd had an abortion instead prolly still does too am I right? course I am!


ratings confirm: john blaq is a star - John Whyte - 04-21-2017

...queer


ratings confirm: john blaq is a star - Super Mario - 04-21-2017

hah! and now his mouths a broken record aint that just somethin

well check this I just asked Heyman to make it happen so we'll see what he says or if Vinnie here wants to give the okey doke here

Quote:Heyman, it's high time somebody sent that loudmouth little ugly ass goomba a message and I'm gonna be the one to do just that so I want you to make it happen

Super Mario on one Side John Blaq on the Other in an X-treme STEEL CAGE MATCH with MY HMW TITLE on the line vs HIS CAREER

Blaq Loses his ass is OUTTAHERE once and for all everybody gets to live happily ever after

I lose he gets the HMW Belt

it's that simple

and yes I'm using my Shop Stip to make this happen! at the PPV

so whaddya say you in or out...PUNK!


ratings confirm: john blaq is a star - Super Mario - 04-21-2017

whatsamatta for you cat gotcha tongue all a sudden now that I choose to go all in in Vegas vs you haha yeah I guess it IS true what everybody says about you being a tiny dicked little chihuahua all bark an' NO BITE!


ratings confirm: john blaq is a star - John Whyte - 04-21-2017

yeah I dont really give a fuck but if you lose your belt before then then your career is on the line too


re:ratings confirm: john blaq is a star - Danny Sex - 04-21-2017

(04-21-2017, 11:51 AM)Vincent Lane Said: By the way, next time you want to negative 69 your life partner Garaputo in there, lock the damn door.

Mr. Sex walks into the room, thrusting his pelvis into the air, accentuating where his penis is.

Mr. Sex: Say, that sounds suspiciously like sex. Kind of like sex. I know my sex, and I tell you, that sounds like a new one for me. Where do the sexy hot babes go when you negative sixty-nine another guy? This, this makes no sense. Especially urging them to lock the door. Mr. Lane, I may be new around here, but do you earnestly go around checking every door in every arena we go to? Is there some sexy game of hide and sex I'm missing out on here? Because sex is kinda my thing, just sayin', but without the hot babes I'm rather perplexed by what you're going on about regarding the decidedly unsexy John Blaq and his pal. Why, that's as sexy as considering a dumpster fire having sex with a bag of used baby diapers, which as I think most can agree, is not sexy.

Mr. Sex picks up a nearby bag of used diapers and lobs it from 15 yards away into a nearby (though not as nearby as the bag of used diapers) dumpster fire, like a diaper bag penis into a hot dumpster sex pot.

Mr. Sex: Well, I guess it's pretty sexy now since I just did it, but you see, I had to make it sexy, not John "I couldn't get laid in an old folks home with an Alzheimer's patient who thinks I'm Marlon Brando" Blaq. He doesn't make the vaginas of all the hot babes quiver with anticipation, frustration, and eventually adulation, he makes their lady boners shrink down to the tiniest little levels.


ratings confirm: john blaq is a star - Peter Fn Gilmour - 04-21-2017

you stupid moron.. I BRING THE RATINGS!


re:ratings confirm: john blaq is a star - Robert "The Omega" Main - 04-22-2017

Robert walks through

Ratings? Ladies let's not get things twisted up. AX3! Is the ratings!



ratings confirm: john blaq is a star - Theo Pryce - 04-22-2017

Let's not get it twisted. AX3 is the reason people change the channel.


ratings confirm: john blaq is a star - Super Mario - 04-22-2017

sheesh! I go in to help Vinnie here clear the XWF pipes of a pest and I get everybody an' their dog in on the action!

I swear sometimes it just don't pay to get outta bed!

anybody wanna join me for a smoke?


re:ratings confirm: john blaq is a star - Doctor Louis D'Ville - 04-22-2017

(04-22-2017, 04:36 AM)Super Mario Said: sheesh! I go in to help Vinnie here clear the XWF pipes of a pest and I get everybody an' their dog in on the action!

I swear sometimes it just don't pay to get outta bed!

anybody wanna join me for a smoke?

I'll take a smoke. Now, tell us more about how you're cleaning Vinnie Lane's pipes.


ratings confirm: john blaq is a star - Super Mario - 04-22-2017

Lights up a couple cigars and hands one to Doc D'ville

how you ask? simple! its the same way me an' my brother used to do it

a little somethin' for you!

[Image: Mario_Bros_(Arcade)_06.gif]

an' for you!

[Image: Mario_Bros_(Arcade)_13.gif]

an' for you!
[Image: k5jLGKc7byWpqK13ZhB-LkrFhuJ6-qDfFjSY_oC-...LmIA0_yrf-]

eh? you want some too? sure why not!

[Image: FaX2kh.gif]

see, it aint nothin' more than somethin we've been doin' for years and then some Doc all in a day's work as they say *puffs Cigar*

[Image: Mario_Bros_(Arcade)_15a.gif]


re:ratings confirm: john blaq is a star - Danny Sex - 04-23-2017

Mr. Sex: Wait a minute, those pipes look absolutely horrendous! Wouldn't a responsible plumber have installed an adequate and energy efficient disposal unit to deal with the turtles, crabs, giant insects, fireballs, and fastly drifting blocks of ice? Super Mario, not only are you completely lacking in sexy, you're an easy D minus plumber to boot.

Mr. Sex is seen sitting on a toilet, pooping and using Tinder at the same time. He's constantly swiping left.

Mr. Sex: Heh, out of "Likes" if you know what I mean, I'm that sexy. To kill the time I just open up Tinder and swipe left. That's how you really clean out some clogs in the system. I'd have to say, you're one Average Mario.

Mr. Sex stands up from the toilet and we readily see his penis on screen for a moment. It's chummy looking, though not particularly intimidating, most hetero males would have averted their eyes, but you got a good look at it. He turns and starts to paw at a roll of toilet paper clumsily while still holding his phone, attempted the vaunted wipe and swipe technique.

Mr. Sex: What, as the worldwide literary phenomenon even says, everyone poops, don't act like it can't be sexy. Well, except hot babes, they just fart and pee out of their butt hole. That's what makes them sexy, but I'm manly and masculine in my sexiness.

Mr. Sex gets a paltry amount of toilet paper, decidedly insufficient for anyone, and wipes, but kind of off screen to keep it a little classy, and we don't actually see fecal matter on the paper so it's not completely disturbing that we're watching a sexy sex icon poop. He drops the paper in the commode and flushes.

Mr. Sex: Dag nabbit, I left her clogged!

Mr. Sex, refusing to pull up his pants, turns and his friendly, neighborly penis flashes the screen again as he sets his phone down. He reaches into a cabinet in the bathroom and pulls out a plumber's snake, one of a bevy of plumbing tools never used by a video game character, and inserts it into the toilet to unclog the toilet, though it's also very erotic because Mr. Sex is doing it, and it's like a long, thing, sensual metal penis going into a sexy hot babe toilet bowl.