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+--- Thread: Feedback Request: The Damned (/showthread.php?tid=27362)
The Damned - Jenny Myst - 04-19-2017
Hey guys!
So I did it! I finally have a match and I made my first promo! I have been featured on Chris Chaos promo's, but this was my first SOLO one. Lemme know what you think!
Hey guys! I wanted to develop a back story to Jenny, told in several parts. 3 of those parts will be for this match.
It is difficult to write from a chick's perspective. Let me know how I did!
The Damned - Imperial - 04-20-2017
Quote:Hey guys!
So I did it! I finally have a match and I made my first promo! I have been featured on Chris Chaos promo's, but this was my first SOLO one. Lemme know what you think!
The writing is great, as usual, but on the specific character development there seems to be a little disconnect between ^ Jenny and Promo Jenny.
I don't feel the same bimbotic/slutty feel off Jenny that you seem to want to build from her promo, she seems way too serious, way too eloquent and and just no as giggly you know?
Otherwise I don't think males and females really speak too differently, it's all in the character. I feel like Jenny is the epitome of every female stereotype we can come up with, and in her promo against ravenwolf I just didn't feel it.
The Damned - Jenny Myst - 04-20-2017
Thanks Danny! Appreciated!
But there is more to Jenny than just what we see every week on Warfare and Savage. The shoot section was supposed to represent her now. But I wanted to build a back story to show everyone her life in a nutshell. The first few RP's will be setting up her story to show the world why she is like she is now while the promo's will come from her real time.
She's got a darkside. And I am going to attempt to try to bring to the limelight as to why.
But I appreciate the feedback!
*kisses*
The Damned - Tommy Gunn - 04-20-2017
tl/dr
You sure are pretty though. Let's bang? K?
Ok for real though. I liked it. I thought you did a great job of showing how Jenny became what she is today and that it didn't have to be that way. I thought the backstory you told was well written and believable. The details connected for me. I could visualize this young innocent girl turning into the cunty bitch that she is now and it made sense.
The Damned - Jenny Myst - 04-20-2017
Thanks,
and that's only part 1
Lots more story to come!
re:The Damned - Theo Pryce - 04-20-2017
(04-20-2017, 08:00 AM)Jenny Myst Said: Thanks,
and that's only part 1
Lots more story to come!
I bet you say that to all the boys.