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+--- Thread: Feedback Request: Okay, guys, I need some help. (/showthread.php?tid=27262)
Okay, guys, I need some help. - Cadryn Tiberius - 04-13-2017
As most of you know I chose to go in a different direction with the way that Cadryn is written.
I moved away from the basis of my material being comedy driven, to a more serious version of Cadryn with bits of comedy.
My biggest weakness in my opinion, is my trash talk. I've always struggled with it, while I watch other guys like Caedus, Chaos, Bourbon, etc put out some of the best trash talk I've read.
So far this week I've done two RP's for my match on Savage. Both of them have been primarily focused on trash talk.
If possible, I wanted to see if you guys could check them out and let me know what you think, and give me some constructive criticism or advice on how to improve my work in the long run.
Thanks again, guys.
- Jeff
re:Okay, guys, I need some help. - Vincent Lane - 04-13-2017
I tend to stay away from giving feedback on roleplays for shows that haven't occurred yet, so as to not look like I'm telling you what to do in order for me to give you the win.
However, I know what you're trying to accomplish here an I want you to know you're doing good work. It's tough to redefine a character, extra tough to do it when you started as a joke character, and nearly impossible to do it as a face. It's not something you're going to get a good grasp on in one cycle, but you're doing a good job.
I went through a similar progression back when I joined up because I originally planned on Vinnie to just be funny and dumb. I didn't just flip a switch and decide to go serious in the way that you have, it was a more organic progression, but it was still similar. I also spent almost the entirety of my XWF time as a face, maybe the only REAL face for most of it. Trash talk in particular is super hard when you're trying to look like the good guy, because it's just not what the good guy would do, you know?
It can be done though, and you'r working on it. You had some good points in there, it seemed like you had an easier time ripping into Main - and that makes sense from a character perspective because Cadryn wouldn't have the level of emotional confusion towards Main. It's consistent, which is really important in order to not just pull someone completely out of a story.
I am pretty stoked to see the character evolve and watch as you kind of figure out how to manage all of those different aspects. Maybe take a look back through the archives of older roleplayers and try to see some of the ways they talked in order to get a feel for the different ways they do it? I think a good example of a mostly face trash talker is a guy like Robbie Bourbon, because even when he was burying people he never seemed like he was being an asshole about it. He's a good archetype for any comedic but also serious type character.
Anyway, that's enough rambling. I hope others chime in. Good job.
Okay, guys, I need some help. - Cadryn Tiberius - 04-13-2017
Wow, Vinny, thank you.
That means a lot coming from someone of your caliber.
I've got a lot of good ideas for the way that Cadryn is headed. A lot of them are very story driven, dialogue, interaction with family and friends, etc.
I'm having a blast and am always about moving forward and continuing to get better.
Again, thank you for the kind words, they mean a lot.
re:Okay, guys, I need some help. - Drake - 04-13-2017
Hey Cadryn, At first, and even to some degree now still (mainly trash talk), I have/had the same problem. The main thing you need to is properly plan what you're going to say, trash talk. I know this stuff sounds so trivial, but it helps so much, let me tell you.
Okay, guys, I need some help. - JimCaedus - 04-13-2017
Jeff I've already told you privately how much I love your gift for story writing and comedy alone. Your trash talk in my opinion over the last two promos has been harsh and again, in my opinion, it's the best I've seen from you yet. I like the direction you're taking Cadryn (you already know that) and I don't think there's much advice beyond what Vin aptly covered to offer you, you're doing an excellent job in my eyes.
Okay, guys, I need some help. - Doctor Louis D'Ville - 04-14-2017
Vinnie and Doc pretty much grew up together here in the XWF. I was a month shy of sharing the anniversary date with him. So, I can back Vinnie and I'm sure he can back me when it comes to character development and/or change. We both went through a transitional period with our characters and it's only healthy. That's how you grow as a writer and how your character develops into a big time name and champion.
Trash talk can be tough, and as it's been brought up before, plays a big part in the judging aspects of a roleplay. When I first started I just couldn't do it. Most of my roleplays came with a very strong story base, followed by very little TT to fill it all out. A lot of my work is STILL storybased, but I've been able to develop Doc to the point where I'm comfortable spewing out some hate. We didn't have the Caedus's, and what not, that carry the TT torch these days. Back then, we had Gators, Feders, and Madisons... So the heat was definitely there. It was all I could do to adapt and try to pick up on some of the styles they left behind in order to evolve into something better.
Today, I'm sure my trash is one of my weak points, and I've been told I have a very unique style of it that differs from the Gators, Feders, and Madisons.... So, remember THAT too Cadryn... You don't have to follow suit in order to fit in or impress anyone. Be unique. Like Vinnie said, it's difficult to pull off what you do was a FACE character, but when you do, it's amazing. Keep experimenting and write how YOU wish to write and never cross-over into changing into a style that isn't you. Keep up the good work, I'm glad to see when guys keep their characters and try to evolve them. Very exciting and very fun to watch. Good luck with it, and you're welcome to PM me anytime if you want some real FB on things. I'm usually available.
Okay, I rambled, too. Sorry. Hopefully this wasn't all about me, Doc, and Vinnie and had some helpful pointers in there.
Okay, guys, I need some help. - Cadryn Tiberius - 04-14-2017
Thank you guys so much for the advice.
Drake - Yeah man, it's tough. I typically try to plan ahead but we have a very talented roster that tend to take your TT and flip it on you which is pretty much the name of the game, lol.
Jimmy - As always, thank you. You're one of the best TT I've ever seen, and your my bro forever.
Doc - As we have talked in the past, I really love your work and appreciate everything you've done to help me.
Again, thanks guys, you're the best.