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+---- Thread: Human (/showthread.php?tid=27100)
Human - Scully - 03-29-2017
In a room where Skull is sat on a leather chair and looking chilled. He is drinking a bottle of Budweiser, and has his feet up on a wooden, slatted chair. He has just watched a third promo from his opponent at Lethal Lottery, Danny Imperial. Scully shakes his head in disapproval at what he just watched. It was the first time Danny Imperial had really spoken to Scully about the match in great detail. Scully locks eyes into the camera with a smirk before speaking.
"First of all Daniel Son, congratulations on bullying some old codger and getting him to try disastrously to portray 'The Skull Meister". What was that? You get your Grandad Norman to pretend to be Scully? Or did you pay a very bad actor money to attempt and fail to be me? Bravo, bravo. I'm afraid it's YOU who looks stupid Fanny boy after releasing such cringe worthy garbage. I tried to find it amusing, but the guy couldn't even sound like me. I imagine to sound like a Brummie is hard work right? To top it off, those questions you asked him were those of a moron. I thought at first you were going to give me a run for my money, an all out brawl, a competitive match but judging by this lame turd you've put out so far, I can admit I was wrong. This is really going to be easy work, an easy peasy, lemon squeezy, itsy bitsy, shitsy night for ME! A shitsy night for you also of course cuz you are going to be taught a valuable lesson my not so worthy opponent, that Scully is the business. Look all I ask is that you try, that's it. Is that too much to ask? Come down to ring and have a little oomph in ya. Make me work for my victory, go out like a true warrior, don't let it be a case of I hit the Scullanator straight away and pin you in record time. I don't want that, I mean don't insult me by accepting my open challenge and not actually challenging me! Tell me how angry you are and don't tell me you care! Overall punishment is what is needed for you. I'm glad you found the time to take an history lesson in the life of Scully. I'm glad you now know what I'm all about. But you should know the best of me is yet to come and I start by decapitating you."
Scully randomly goes quiet and looks towards the door. Nothing happens and Skull sits silent, awkwardly. He then whispers.
"Pssst.. This is when you walk in."
Skull grins st the camera. The door opens and in walks... A man with long greasy, shaggy hair like it hadn't been washed for years (it was actually a wig) He wore white makeup with red triangle shapes on it (Very Classy) He is topless but doesn't look that muscular, in fact he's quite skinny.. It's the guy we've all been waiting for, it's the one and only... Danny Imperial (It was actually Scully's best friend Alfie, dressed like a nob) He walks over to the table where Scully is sat and begins to speak with a high pitched, squeeky voice.
Danny Imperial: "Erm.... Why are you talking bad about me?"
Scully just bursts out laughing. Alfie then asks in his normal voice.
Alfie: "What's so funny?"
"You sound like a twat."
Alfie: "I look like one too."
Scully and Alfie aka Danny Imperial chuckle.
"Ask me again.. Start again."
Danny Imperial walks back towards the door and then walks over again.
Danny Imperial: "Erm.... Why are you talking bad about me?"
"Because I can. Because you're my opponent and because you're a complete asswipe."
Danny Imperial: "Hey that's not fair, what did I do to you?"
"Accept my open challenge! Would you like an alcoholic beverage?"
Danny Imperial: "Yes please!"
Scully goes into the mini fridge next to him which is in arms length and pulls out a bottle of Budweiser. He bites off the cap and takes a large swig.
Danny Imperial: "What about me? I need attention!"
"Oh yeah.. Sorry."
Skull goes back into the mini fridge and hands 'Danny Imperial' a bottle of ribena. 'Danny' and Scully laugh.
"So yeah, why did you decide the only way to get my attention was to bring up history with objects?"
Danny Imperial: "But I care about you, I told you a million times in my last promo how much you mean to me. I do this because I care!"
"Will you just shut up already. I'm not gay, I appreciate your admiration for me but I'm not a bumder."
Alfie quickly switches back in his normal voice.
Alfie: "US gay men do more than just bumming! Don't you bum Natalie?"
Scully and Alfie laugh.
"Sssshhhh... She'll be here soon. I really do not want to know what you gay men do.. Can you get back in character please?"
Alfie: "Sorry."
Scully smirks and runs his hand through his hair.
"So yeah Fanny boy I see you did your homework?"
Danny Imperial: "I did. I spent the whole week looking back to when you began here, I looked up Total Xtreme Wrestling because I care. I care because I love you. You Scully are my idol, an inspiration.. I.. Danny Imperial wants to be you. In fact, I know everything about you because I've been stalking your wrestling career for years. I knew it all really, I didn't look it up. I know you and your favourite food. The only reason I'm in the XWF is so I can be close to you."
"Okay.. Calm down.. Calm down. This is all a bit weird. I never knew you were a fan?"
Danny Imperial: "I'm your biggest fan. I can't wait to share a ring with you. You shouldn't even have to wrestle me because I'm so crap. "
"Look, Fanny there's no need to be so hard on yourself. I mean I'm sure you're okay and you'll try your hardest, right?"
Danny Imperial: "See this is what I meant when I said you knew nothing about me. You know nothing cuz I am nothing."
"Come on maan.. Don't be like that. I'm sure you ain't that bad?"
Danny Imperial: "I am awful Scully. I'm not even in the league below you. The only reason I got a contract with the Xtreme Wrestling Federation is because I gave Loverboy Vinnie Lane a blow job."
"What? You stooped that low?"
Danny Imperial: "I'd do anything to get close to you. I even let him cum in my greasy hair. Everything I do, I do it for you."
"That reminds me of a song from Bryan Adams. Anyway I know you want me to take you seriously right?"
Danny Imperial: "YES! Because I'm serious about you."
"You know I can get you arrested for stealing that WCW ticket from years ago?"
Danny Imperial: "Please don't. I'm already in trouble with the law from stalking other celebrities and stealing their stuff!"
"You are a strange, strange individual. Just out of curiosity, where did you get the dummy from? Pacifier? Whatever?!"
Danny Imperial: "Your house!"
"No you didn't, you lying Cunt. My son has never had a dummy. So where did you get from?"
Danny Imperial: "It's mine, okay. I like sucking things, I prefer penis but it helps. It keeps me sane, stops me from being a bitch."
"Thank you for being honest, Daniel. The baseball bat?"
Danny Imperial: "Again, I brought it from the shop, whacked it against some things to ruin it ya know? I couldn't get hold of the real one cuz I'm useless."
"Look I get it Danny, you're trying to make yourself look good for the camera's, trying to scare me. But you should know I don't know fear. I have one fear in life and that is death, that is all. You can pretend to talk the talk, you can come across as a Pysco who goes in people's houses but it's fine."
Danny Imperial: "So you forgive me?"
"I never said that. I said it was fine because the consequences are coming your way. Even though you wasn't even clever enough to actually get all the objects, even though you made out they came from my home like I'm meant to be scared? Pffffft... Listen here......"
Scully stands up from the chair and begins to verbally attack 'Danny Imperial'.
"Listen here you dirty, sweaty, chlamydia infected vagina. You want to enter another man's house? You want to come into my home without being invited? You've just made sure you get an even more brutal beating that was already in store for you. You've made this TEN times worse for yourself. You can blame the punishment on your own
actions. You want me to take you seriously? You what attention, you attention seeking Wank stain?! I'll give you attention, I'll make sure everyone knows who you are! From the XWF Galaxy, to the entire XWF roster, they will all witness an Xtreme beat down."Danny Imperial: "Look, I'm sorry. I really am, please forgive me? Don't hurt me, I'm just a rookie. I know you're going to destroy me anyway, I know I'm going to be introduced to Des and Troy. I'm biting off way more than I can chew, well I can't chew alot with my manky teeth. "
"It's too late for that. You asked for it and you're going to get it. I don't do threats, I only do promises. I don't talk rubbish, I talk realism.. Honesty. I am honestly bored of your crap and I can't wait to do something about it."
Danny Imperial suddenly throws off the wig, throwing it on the floor and then begins jumping up and down on it like a petulant child. He starts to cry.
Danny Imperial: "Leave me alone! "
Danny Imperial aka Alfie then storms off with a little smile on his face as he tries hard not to laugh, tears run down his face. Skull then looks into the camera again little bit more serious.
"I'm afraid I upset poor Danny. He's obviously shitting his pants because what is going to happen at Lethal Lottery.
Kick off show huh? I'm gonna kick your damn head off you Cunt. You say I know nothing about you? I already know that you talk rubbish. I already know you that you sneak your mongaloid self into people's homes or make out you do. Let's face it, the WCW stubs could just be copies you printed off Google images. They could be the real thing, I haven't checked my house yet to see what you've stolen, what else you've taken?! Maybe you met my old acquaintances to get the baseball bat from them? Or did like stated, get it from a store? Along with the candy ring you put your sweaty lips on? Probably. The fact remains that pacifier does not belong to my boy, you obviously sucked and chewed that shit because ya'll momma stopped letting you suck her titties. Who gives a fuck about TXW? Not me. I have a past, you have a past, I have a future and so do you. Your future doesn't look good and you will see at Lethal Lottery. You get an B for effort though, an A for being a Total idiot. God Bless your soul, talking to myself again. A grim night is ahead for you! Da End, Scully Has Spoken!"
Scully smirks sarcastically before finishing his bottle of bud, in one... Pretty much.