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Outstandingly Obtuse Cunts Only Open Cans-o-worms - Dolly Waters - 03-21-2017 Tuesday, March 21st, 2017 Only Of Christ ...A Presbyterian Church... The scene opens up inside of a bright, cathedral style place of worship somewhere in the north east of the United States. There are about a dozen or so rows of wooden benches on either side of a long walkway covered by a long red carpet that leads up to a few steps where the church goers receive their copious communion of Christ's body and blood on Sunday mornings after a hefty evening of Saturday sin. The church now is empty though, aside from young Dolly Waters who finds herself sitting in the row closest to the exit, her head slung down into her arms that are resting on the back of the bench in front of her. Dolly is not a religious person, at all, but sometimes, even the most astute followers of scientific theory can find themselves reaching into theology for the answers of arbitrary, unexplainable bullshit, the likes of which she had just witnessed while watching Jim Caedus' most recent promo. OOC Priest: Child? Dolly feels a hand on her shoulder and looks up to find a priest standing over her, dressed in his full black robe with a cross covered scarf hanging low from around his neck. OOC Priest: You look troubled young child what brings you in to the Lord's house today? Dolly hesitates at first, her preconceived prejudices against organized religion tugging her away from opening up to this man, but she knows that this may be the only person who can help her- it was obvious enough that there was no rational way of explaining anything she heard blabbering out of Caedus' goatish dome. Dolly: Well father... The priest promptly sits down next to Dolly. Dolly: I believe I've sinned OOC Priest: REALLY, NOW? Oh please do tell. The priest seems a tad bit too excited. Dolly begins explaining a number of things to the OOC Priest, starting with the FACT that she's a wrestler, not like a PRETEND WRESTLER, in a GAME or anything. Moving on she gives a brief explanation of the Lethal Lottery tournament, and her involvement thus far, and how she's in the Finals of that tournament with one man in particular who made some very troubling claims against her, that's leaving her, as it would any other rational XWF Superstar, feeling a mite confused about life. OOC Priest: So go on now child, what did this schizophrenic goat faced man named Jim Caedus say about you? Dolly: Well... he and I were partners in the round two of Lethal Lottery. There was a night when the XWF crew filmed him coming to my house, and he... Dolly's voice begins cracking, as the priest tries to consul her. OOC Priest: Go on dear... what did he do? Dolly: He stabbed a pussy with his big knife! Over, and over and over again! OOC: This, pussy... was it your pussy? Dolly: No, just a random stray one. They're all over my neighborhood. OOC Priest: Ah... horrible. But what does this have to do with you? Dolly: Well, Father, that's what I'm so confused about! He claimed that I forced him to commit this sadistic act, but as the video would clearly show he and he alone did this. Father, how could I have manipulated him into doing such a terrible thing? Am I a bad person? OOC Priest ponders the question. OOC Priest: My child, it would seem to me that Jim Caedus is his own man, capable of making his own decisions, if that would have been something he didn't want the entire world to see then maybe he could have done something to make sure that it wasn't part of that video, am I right? Dolly: I don't know! I'm so confused! It's not like we're just a bunch of people role playing about things, trading off stories. This is real life! Then he went on to tell everyone that the reason I forced him to do this is because I might of had a traumatic event occur at a young age involving cats. OOC Priest: Did such a thing every happen to you my child, I mean you're already very young? Dolly: No... not never! I don't know what he's talking about! OOC Priest: Well then, I wouldn't worry about it too much my child. If I were you, I'd probably ask him to try and prove such a ridiculous claim. What I believe happens sometimes with people who sound as delusional as this man you're describing to me right now is they find themselves late at night on the internet-of-things. Probably watching pornography and suffering from low self-esteem, maybe they're homeless or what have you, and too consumed with their internet addiction to find real work and to become successful, so they find themselves in some strange little chat rooms confusing the things people tell them with reality and fiction. Dolly: Do you really think that's the case? OOC Priest: Oh, not only do I think it my child, I know it... well all aside from the pornography, homelessness and internet addiction things, but the likelihood is promising. But you NEVER can really assume these things of people unless they've actually shown this to be true in this world. Because anything other than what YOU ARE in OUR REALITY, the things people claim, it's all fabrication. I've dealt with issues like this in the past, you'll see it from time to time, people who are usually less talented than others try picking out little smidgens of fantasy out of this entire realm that is totally non-existent from this reality. They go there in attempt to make someone else seem foolish, but in the end, they only damage themselves because if THIS LIFE... OUR REALITY, and our success in this reality was JUDGED by some higher power, they would easily point out this mans lies against you, thus making it very difficult for him to do anything of worth. Dolly: Wow, that makes a lot of sense, Father. I feel much better now. Thank you! OOC Priest: No problem my child. Now before you go, I must ask... would you happen to have a little brother, maybe know some younger boys around your age who possibly need some assistance in finding the truth? Dolly's face goes flat for a moment before turning to the XWF camera crew who've been filming this entire episode. Welp, that about sews it all up now doesn't it, Jim? That entire little rump-fed tangent you drug us all through? Wasting your time while whining like a hand-out craving mope-hung-from-a-rope trans-man stating that I was making "baseless assertions" while at the same time going back through, doubling that dick of dumbassry down your second shit hole, and pointing out that the things I said about you were obvious? Then going on and actually ranting and raving about some truly baseless bullshit about Dolly Waters? My oh my, Jim, you really are fucking insane aren't you? I never said for you NOT to point out my young age, or that I'm of a hick lineage you ingrate, I pratically begged you to do something so fucking dumb because if you were to go back pull your head out of that gaping asshole of yours for just a moment, you'd realize that these line of attack have failed against me, every. single. time. And for you to be dancing with such neurotic fantasies in your shit fed mind of "spanking" an underage girl makes it even funnier and even more worthy of slaying you over. For fucking starters, yer' not gunna' spank shit but yer' monkey you diseased looking toad. It's all fine and dandy if you want to point out that I'm dangerous, because I am, and I've built no barriers between the truth that I won't be winning this match based on a some self-fulfilling prophecy of mine, you and Trax are too skilled for something of that nature to happen. Sure, I'll maybe rib you two for having having such gaudy fantasies about the level of your individual skills- but I'll never doubt that you've made it to these finals for a reason. And not just the fact that I cleaned Scully's clock just before the ref was going to declare him victorious and draped your unconscious body over his. You two are warriors... and furthermore, worthy adversaries. But Jimmy, c'mon man. Are you fer'fucking real going to go down the path so fucking shameful and less followed that you would try dipping your little sad excuse of a dinky into a realm of non-existent bullshit to come up with a means to insult me? This isn't a fucking "game" like you said. This is real life. I am Dolly Waters, and I'm really not the type of person you should fucking trifle with. ESPECIALLY while spewing a bunch of hot garbage from the enigmatic acronym. Ever seen an Obese Cocksucker, Jim? Maybe your dead wife? Awe, that was mean. How about an Overly Obese Cocksucker? Ah, fuck it man... what's the point? If you're anything like what you're proving yourself to be, these words will only get your remedial ass riled up even more, digging for more meaningless shit to talk about in the dark. I'm over it like the way the XWF's reality is plum over your fucking head. I'm a man stuck in a girl's body? Maybe that's so you dimwitted prick, I do have a hardened side. I was abandoned by my fucked up father and left to my own devices at the mere age of eleven, and trained in the arts of combat by a steroid junky who literally collects his victims penises, so yeah, I have a fucking edge you mundane dickwad. At least I'm not some ape brained doofus masturbating in front of his tablet, getting confused about the people I may or may not be communicating with on Skype, getting frustrated to find out that about 99% of female characters you see in online games are ran by dudes... that'd sure be one big fucking debbie downer now wouldn't it? Aye', Caed-bae, a/s/l? But that isn't you, Jim, and I know that. And that's the difference between you and Dolly Waters, one of us has a general grasp on the concept of what's real and what isn't, the other one... well not so much. But you ARE a pussy who's offended at himself because he killed a cat- oh cry me a fucking river. A cat you killed just a short time before ending a man's life, remember that? Did I also trick you into committing that vicious crime? It's pretty funny to me frankly that you would claim to have some super Lawnmower Man intellect yet you also said you let a thirteen year old girl "corral" you into hurting a creature that you're obviously so fond of. See and there blows up your entire fucking argument, dingus. You say you saw past all of my bullshit and such, like you came to some GRAND fucking conclusion that a person wearing a mask is a masked person and so you wanted to see who I was- that just makes you curious, nothing more. And it was your dumbfounded fucking curiosity that killed that cat wasn't it, Jim? Your unfailing paranoia that keeps sweeping you up with the Overly Obese Cocksuckers- this whole fucking thing isn't some ploy to foil you, Caedus. Nobody gives a fuck about you- just like I would expect you to give the same fucks regarding my existence. I'm here to win. That's it. I told Trax that you were the greatest threat in this match for Dolly Waters, and I meant it- I have no doubt that if I do fail to finish what I started in this tournament, then it'll be Jim Caedus' arm being raised, not Mr. F'N Blowhard. Some cocksucker who disrespects the Television Title as if it were beneath him, while also not possessing the fortitude needed to meet the demanding qualities a TV Champ must have- that's why so many of the great warriors in it's lineage DO end up reaching the mountain top in the XWF- just as I'm sure you someday will. But you better believe this, I'm going to do every fucking thing in my power to make sure that I get there too, and this Lethal Lottery Final, this is just my first opportunity. Jim, I have no delusions about your in ring skill, just because I think you're a nutjob who will eventually let his emotions get the best of him compliments of lil ol' me- I've seen the things you've done to other men. But hear this, as fucking cliche and over sung as it may be, you've never, EVER faced anything the likes of Dolly Waters before in your life. The fact alone that you, just like Trax, have spent the abundance of your time talking about me, and me alone proves that you know I'M the true challenge, so don't feed me and the viewers a bunch of tired ass euphemisms, cause you know damn well the truth. I'M the fucking lone roadblock in your pursuit to capturing what you so desperately crave. I AM THE PHENOM. And I don't have to go dig up old accolades and win loss records to prove it like your boneheaded partner- my name? It speaks for itself. I'm going to have to pick Cadryn up onto my shoulders and lead this team into battle myself obviously, and I have not a fucking problem doing that bub- I've done it before- I'll do it again. Lucky for you two , I'm not getting any help on the account of one huge . But I'm not going to use it as an excuse either because I know I'm capable of getting the job done. I've defied the odds before- fer'fuck's sake I'm a thirteen year-old girl in the finals of one of the most prestigious combative tournaments of all time. And, Trax, with his willful fucking ignorance has only furthered down the slippery slope of his own slobber slicked anal cavity. Still unable to shake the fact that most people around here loathe the way that he talks trash because he said "Trash talk is kinda' my thing" Please, bitch. I'm not the greatest, and Caedus is pretty darn skilled at this, but you? YOU?!? Why on god's earth would you think that I based my entire attack around the fact that you can't shut up yapping for one fucking second about the past? Because it's your greatest weakness. You're weak mentally bub. Unable to shake a dribble of CURRENT relevance outta' yer' little clit. And you've proven it, the fact that you can't just chalk up your fallacies as you being mediocre at something and trying to adapt. I pointed ALL OF THIS to MY CLAIMS that your career for the most part has been a fucking failure- and I did it without having to dig up specifics because I got you to dig up some specifics yourself. Like me getting you to call ME worthless for Reno eliminating me from a match that you also lost- THUS planting the fucking seed of doubt into everyone's mind about Trax because everyone fucking knows your sad history with Reno. I don't have to bring it up- you bring up everything with a smidgen of what you consider might be relevance all of the fucking time. Just like me pointing to a scenario of a worthless Universal champion who got his lone reign with the top belt by cashing in a briefcase, only to lose it in his first defense- you hopped up with your arms failing screaming: "EW ME! ME! THAT WAS ME! I SUCK THAT HARD!" Again, I didn't have to specify anything, you dug your own shit filled grave. I didn't point out that you lost to Vinnie Lane, you did it to yourself. How are you so far off of the fucking mark here, Trax? I thought you were fucking leet or something. But you've let Dolly Waters get you tunnel visioned on one subject and you still can't see the forest for the trees. Did Frodo INVENT said redundant garbage promo style? No, I never said that, please go back and find me saying that you nonsensical jackass, I said he made it famous, and while that can NEVER really be factualized- you could really go back and ask anyone with any real knowledge of the XWF and find that to be true. Because that's all a Frodo promo ever was- one long redundancy filled suck-fest of minuscule facts, stats and who-gives-a-fucks and you're the only person since that little to use that shit style as frequently as he does. I did set a trap for you, pal, and you're still floundering in it- what's even sadder is that the stream is only about knee deep and you're unable to just stand up, dust off and move on- all you've been doing is just continuing to double down on the same old lazy bullshit that noone wants to hear. EARTH TO FUCKING TRAX?!? To bite my buddy Luca's sawg, since this is something we fucking do now: AM I SPEAKING FUCKING NORWEGIAN HERE?!? No one gives a fuck about what happened in your match with Donald Trump in Doctor D'Ville it hasn't the goddamndest thing to do with what's happening right now you donkey mouthed farm animal... This? All of this: redundant Said:regarding the Doctor D'Ville/Trump match entirely, Trump was in no way shape or form a "worthy" partner to anybody, he or his guards and had NO business being in the ring, but as I pointed out, Doctor D'Ville from his own mouth stated he could beat me and Bourbon with or without Trumps help. So if that is TRULY the case, that match was fair and Trump can't be blamed, D'Ville only has himself to blame, which he does for being an overconfident fool that underestimated me and overlooked the fact neither me or Bourbon had to pin him to beat him. I just fast forward through bullshit like that man, because you're just overstating your understatements and it makes me want to fucking puke. Trax, you go right the fuck ahead and underestimate me all you want . It'll only make things all that much sweeter once I do finally get my hands on your greasy fucking skin and jerk you around by those cornrolls. I'm going to lay into you, boo-boo, probably separate that fucking jaw of yours from your head once you eat my fucking knee. I've done this time and time again, but you just wanna' balk at my accomplishments? That's EXACTLY why spending all of your time digging into the past serves not a single fucking purpose. The only purposes that are served are once you and I step in that ring, and even if for some reason my team does come up short, I will guarantee you one fucking thing, you won't be beating Dolly Waters, not you or Caedus. I have a spirit that's unbridled and never failing. I'm going to give you everything I've got- and if Cadryn want's to continue to be a little pansy fuck, not helping build the main event to a fucking PPV, I'll have no problems just axing his ass out of the equation as soon as the bell rings and taking you two to your limits all by my lonesome. Either way, come Lethal Lottery, you and the Television Champion are going to have more on your hands then what you bargained for, because Dolly Waters is in the murkin' business- and fellas, business will be a' boomin. \ The scene fades as Dolly Waters stands and exits the church... |