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+--- Thread: Thanks For Setting Me Up Rookies, Now I'll Finish You Part 2 (/showthread.php?tid=26775)
Thanks For Setting Me Up Rookies, Now I'll Finish You Part 2 - Hero Xtreme 7.9 - 02-27-2017
The scene opens to NOCMM invisible balls deep in a cisgendered woman's cunt. He's giving it to her alright. He's been doing a great job so far, but he feels like he's going to cum soon. The generous lover really wants her to have her 20th orgasm, so he puts earmuffs on her and start playing clips from Rookiepool part of Caedus's promo. Nobody could cum during that. Not even fags.
Quote:"I
AM
BURONAN!!!!!"
NOCMM: Nope, you're still Rookiepool. The old skool fans have spoken. You lost the culture war. Get over it
.Quote:You and I are both cowards who have been so underwhelmingly owned
NOCMM: Ha! According to my editor there is a red line underline under "underwhelmingly" asking if he means overwhelmingly. You got to love that denial. You got to love that complete lack of self-awareness. That's exactly what Deadpool would say. So much for being yourself, rookie.
Quote: that NOCMM had to pad Hero's records and accolades with a plethora of fake news and alt-facts on his XWF profile
NOCMM: This is fake news. He never proved anything. The old skool fans saw all these matches and vouched for their validity. Rookiepool, like usual, is full of shit, and doing exactly what he claims my client is doing. Rookieprojection.
Quote:this fact remains: no matter how hard he tried, no-showing partner or not, Hero XTreme 7.9 was never going to be better than either of us on his best day, Jimmy.
NOCMM: My client is God,
. Letting you win or not he's always better than you. That's the definition of an Alt-fact. Even if it wasn't fact that my client is better than you naturally by virtue of being God, then this would still just be an opinion. That's all you have, fake words like "underwhelimingly" and opinions that the facts in no way support. No wonder my client decided you should still be a rookie.Quote:obviously never once mentioning that his partner has hung him out to dry,
NOCMM: You're obsession with that rookie is enough for the both of us. I have no obligation to talk about an obvious non-factor. When you do it it makes you look desperate as fuck, so I learned from Trax's mistake. It's a shame you haven't. Wasting breath on someone so worthless just to pad out your promo with more worthless things to talk about, you make me sick. Apparently you're the guys to come to quality? "Quality" is wasting people's time with ramblings about Shaun Crowe?
NOCMM fucks this cisgendered woman even harder.
NOCMM: The only time I talk about that rookie is to point out how
you are for talking about that rookie, and that's exactly the way it should be. He's not the man you're truly facing. Promo or not he never would have been. Your only obstacle is whether or not my client decides he wants you to be a main eventer. You're competing with Jim Caedus for my client's favor. This is why you lost last time. You didn't even realize what the competition is and let Trax take it from you. According to a quote falsely attributed to Einstein you're insane. According to the old skool fans you're a .Quote:Why would anyone give a fuck about you?
NOCMM: The list of people who care about my client is so long that this just comes off as a
trying his hand at being contrarian for the first time in his life. People love God because he created them. He gave them the gift of life. He invented pro wrestling, the best sport ever. He put the XWF on the map in 2002, and came back in 2015 to an empty main event scene. He sacrificed the opinions of the uninformed to elevate several men and one woman. Every Christian gives a fuck about my client. Every woman wants to fuck my client. Every wants to fuck my client, so bad that they're willing to go to Hell just to pursue it. Every sane person loves my client, all the gay want my client, and you're asking why? Why is something so obvious even a question? You throw around the word "autistic" a lot for someone that's so autistic that they don't even know that everyone thinks God is great. NOCMM shakes both of his invisible heads.
NOCMM: How could you be so blind to the fact that religion exists? Muslims are blowing themselves up hoping my client will keep a promise he never made. Jews were willing to die over their refusal to admit my client has a son. Mormons pedal fan-fiction about my client visiting America door to door everyday. Those are just some of the people who are wrong about my client, but give a fuck about him anyway.
NOCMM reaches into his pocket to get his phone and calls an old skool doctor.
NOCMM: Where do you fall on the autistic spectrum if you're blind to the idea of religion to the point where you genuinely believe no one gives a fuck about GOD of all beings?
Old Skool Doctor: I'd have to look it up, but that's definitely a
. Can it reproduce?NOCMM: No, it's a
too.Old Skool Doctor: Thank Hero Xtreme 7.9 for that. The last thing we need is more
.NOCMM: You said it.
NOCMM hangs up and keeps fucking this cisgendered woman.
Quote:you like to try and demean and disparage people who actually do put in REAL work, people who stick around and win titles and defend them week after week like Jim Caedus here
NOCMM: Honestly, you rookies do it to yourselves. I don't need to try. All I have to do is confirm the old skool fans' opinion. You knew this was a shit promo, and it didn't stop you from releasing it. If "REAL work" is sitting on your ass and neglecting your promo duties because you're afraid I'll own you again, then you're right that's exactly who I demean and own in my promos. I wish it was challenge. You
hid for 4 days and this is the shit you came out with? Calling this piece of shit promo "REAL work" is laughable at worst and damaging to your reputation in the best case scenario. Sure, you think you did you're best, but at the end of the day a rookie's best is just a piece of shit that's a healthy color. No reason to see a doctor, but still disgusting, still worthless, and still best used as food for maggots. Quote:you don't give a fuck about the XWF or anything that happens here outside of Hero XTreme- which completely negates your
NOCMM: That makes no sense at all. The old skool fans only care about Hero Xtreme 7.9 and the people he puts over. So it doesn't negate shit. Anyway, if my client and I didn't give a fuck about the XWF then why would we be here bringing the old skool fans back to the product and making it relevant again? We love the XWF, we just hate the shitty rookies and fags like you who are driving people away. The XWF is more than the trash wrestlers and vermin like you who infest it. It's Hero Xtreme 7.9's crowning accomplishment. In 2002, he came here and made something so shitty, bland, and garbage into something billion upon billions of old skool fans loved. He built Rome in a day. In his absence it deteriorated. The old skool fans abandoned it. In response the owners had to introduce xbux, their own form of currency, because no real money was being pumped into this place.
NOCMM laughs.
NOCMM: It seems like you didn't know any of this, something that everyone who gives a fuck about the XWF knows. Rookieprojection again.
Quote:two years ago at Lethal Lottery 3, Hero lost to list longer than Jericho's of eventual fucking nobodies in one match- that's not a God, that's just a shitty wrestler.
NOCMM: That match only had one winner,
. Even if that were true, Jericho's list is longer than 9 names so this is just another piece of fake news, from a sell-out . God was so generous in that match he elevated two people when he only needed to elevate one. That sounds like a familiar situation, actually, that he passed up on recently...hmmm...that alone says more about you than it does about him. NOCMM laughs at Rookiepool's fake news spin on his 'research'.
NOCMM: You dug into my client's last run and that's the best you could come up with. A multi-man match with several alumni who all left around the time my client did because they saw the writing on the wall. This place is so shitty when my client is absent, that even rookies take the hint, and you think that proves your point? You do? Really? These rookies left because they saw how empty the stands were on the shows my client wasn't booked on. They don't wear horse blinders in the ring. They know there is supposed to be an audience. They aren't convinced by Colton's CGI crowd. They hope there are greener pastures elsewhere and leave just like the old skool fans did. Of course they're failures. They're what you'll be after my client's spotlight stops shining on you. You and those rookies lack what the old skool fans wanted. You and those rookies are a cancer on this company, and once you wrestle in front of an old skool fanless crowd you'll know Hero Xtreme 7.9 was the one who made you. Just like they did. You'll try to get over on your own merit for awhile, sure, but as soon as you come to the realization that this month was your peak you'll leave too.
Quote:there's Hero second from the left and the match full of nobodies he lost to- and no that isn't fake news, that's from the official XWF PPV. Look at him, all metro-emo, gingery and
NOCMM: That's brown hair,
. You must've been looking at the hair you hide under that mask of yours. Claiming fake news isn't fake news is exactly what a faker and a sell-out would do. If you truly believe everyone who scored a fall during a match where only the last fall counts is a winner, then you're . So that you don't even realize that my client scored the most pointless falls that matter to you so much. He elevated 2 when he only had to elevate one. Which he could have done last time he was in the ring with you, and didn't. He could do that on Wednesday, but he won't, because there is no chance in Hell he would ever elevate two lazy, worthless, piece of shit Jericho mark . In the midst of all the fake news and fake words from a guy who stole his personality from a movie, the cisgendered ear-muffed woman has her 20th orgasm and then NOCMM finishes by spraying her insides with invisible semen as the scene fades to an Xtreme shade of black.