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+--- Thread: Assist me please? (/showthread.php?tid=26681)
Assist me please? - Azurine Hallelujah - 02-23-2017
*tap
*tap
*tap
Would somebody please be so kind as to reveal to me the identity of the one who has established his or her self as the weakest member of this roster? Who might I tango with who is a guaranteed pushover? A definite and undisputed W for me in the record books? Someone so bad I could be tranquilized during our dance and still land on top of them for that coveted three count? I'd like to start at the very bottom, if that's alright. For the climb is half the high in itself, and it demands
much
savoring
Assist me please? - Ally Worsted - 02-23-2017
"IT IS I! THE BURONAN!!!"
re:Assist me please? - Ally Worsted - 02-23-2017
(02-23-2017, 01:40 AM)Azurine Hallelujah Said: *tap
*tap
*tap
Would somebody please be so kind as to reveal to me the identity of the one who has established his or her self as the weakest member of this roster? Who might I tango with who is a guaranteed pushover? A definite and undisputed W for me in the record books? Someone so bad I could be tranquilized during our dance and still land on top of them for that coveted three count? I'd like to start at the very bottom, if that's alright. For the climb is half the high in itself, and it demandsso
much
savoring
"Sorry fran! I just realized that you were totally asking the wrong question. So I'll replace it for you with a more relevant, more important question. The one on everyone's mind:
Are there women in the XWF who look like Talia, with the tight stomach and all, who are available beyond non-sexual excursions? Like, the type of women who are at least an 8 that totally put out to anyone. We must find these women, and we must take them!"
Assist me please? - Ally Worsted - 02-23-2017
"HARE-ROW???!?!?"
Assist me please? - Mick Ashcroft - 02-25-2017
"Ask and ye shall receive, eh' Azurine?"
re:Assist me please? - Bobby Blackcoat - 02-25-2017
In reference to Mr. Ashcroft's proposal to become part of the XWF and attempt competition with Azurine, I motion on behalf of Blackcoat Enterprises as well as the XWF roster to decline both proposals. This is to ensure the safety of current XWF employees from medical issues that might arise given interaction with such an unknown entity.
There is clearly something 'unstable' about this man. He is known to have been around for a very long time. I suggest remaining cautious in any interaction with Mr. Ashcroft until further evidence of safety is established in regards to possible contagion and other health matters that may be brought to light during his probationary screening period.
Thank you.
Assist me please? - Oliver Last - 02-25-2017
"I don't know where I am."
"What the fuck did I just wander into?"
Assist me please? - Vincent Lane - 02-25-2017
I think we all know it's Doc D'Ville-
Assist me please? - Oliver Last - 02-26-2017
"There's cookies?"
"I want a cookie."
"Can I have a cookie?"
Assist me please? - Oliver Last - 02-26-2017
"Wow."
"Unbelievable."
"Well, what the hell does a guy need to do to get a damn cookie in this two bit, popsicle stand?"
Assist me please? - Oliver Last - 02-26-2017
"Thanks. I've never had anyone put so much faith in me."
"Unfortunately... I couldn't be the best."
"In fact, I'd be far from it."
"You see, I've never taken part in such an act."
"Maybe you can take me under your wing and show me how it's done?"
"Since you're proficient enough in the field to have a full understanding that the reward for a job well performed is a cookie."
"Sure, you made it seem like you were guessing at first but eventually, you allowed the truth to shine through."
"Should I go find a "cob" for you or are you good with finding one on your own?"
"Wait. What am I saying? You're the teacher here. Of course you don't need help."
"Can I get that cookie after you've finished up though?"
"I just really have my heart set on that cookie."
"And as long as you're taking care of business, I really don't see the harm in passing the reward on to someone else."
Assist me please? - Oliver Last - 02-26-2017
"How can you be worse, when you know the process, so well?"
"You explained how it works."
"That clearly means that you've successfully completed the task."
"Those other guys didn't express the fundamental inner workings of the operation."
"You did."
"Now you want to revoke your words like they never happened and act like you don't know the ropes."
"Whatever."
"At least I have Ketamine."
"And I know it won't ever let me down, like you did."
Assist me please? - Oliver Last - 02-26-2017
"I wasn't going to be doing anything."
"Nothing beyond enjoying cookie goodness."
"You were supposed to do the dirty work."
"But then, you wanted to pretend like you didn't know the ropes, when you so clearly do."
"Even now, you're preaching like an expert."
"Don't think I didn't notice that you tossed in that comment about whoring myself out either."
"You stay away from my junk."
"Cob knobber."
"And now, we've come full circle."
"Ketamine?"
re:Assist me please? - Prof. Bobby Bourbon - 03-01-2017
(02-26-2017, 02:00 AM)Oliver Last Said: "Wow."
"Unbelievable."
"Well, what the hell does a guy need to do to get a damn cookie in this two bit, popsicle stand?"
Well, bud, you might want to go to the cookie stand. They generally only have popsicles at the popsicle stand.
Also, cookies don't come on the cob, that's corn. I know, I'm blown away too by the total lack of foods that come on the cob besides corn.
If you want to swing by my dojo, dude, I'm pretty sure one of the cooks can muster up a cookie for you, or anything you could possibly want to eat. I'll even talk to them about getting some cookies on the cob.
Assist me please? - The Monster of Htaed - 03-01-2017
Father Slathe: My child Oliver Last, are you looking for a family, a home, people who would take you in and show you the ways of The Truth? We are small now, but I know that will not be the case always, but we would be honored to train and teach you our ways, The Truth will be revealed, please take our offer into consideration my child."
Assist me please? - Oliver Last - 03-02-2017
Like a lost puppy I wander through the maze of hallways and find myself back in this room. Back where it all began. Or something dramatic to that effect.
"Oh wow... Robbie, that's awesome."
"Can they make corn on the cob on corn on the cob?"
"A corn on the cob, covered in smaller corn on the cobs?"
"Sorry... one second."
We pause this exchange for a couple of brief bumps of ketamine and coke.
"Okay, where was I?"
"Oh yeah, that mighty fine invite to visit a dojo."
"Sounds cool man. I could be down for that."
"I'm a traveler and tend to blow with the breeze though."
"Going where I please and drifting through life like a leaf caught in an updraft."
"So I won't make any promises."
"Hit my cell up sometime though."
"We'll hash the deetz out then."
This is right about the time that I notice Mr. Tidbits. His words are.... nope, I don't have the proper description for those. Hmmm... gun to my head, we'll go with terrifying. Yeah. Like don't drink the Kool-Aid, Jonestown Massacre, terrifying. I should say something though. He's looking right at me. I think?
"Um... ketamine?'
A single clap. Bravo Oliver, bravo.