X-treme Wrestling Federation
A Formal Apology To The Old Skool Fans On Behalf of Game Girl, Trax, and Rookieman - Printable Version

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A Formal Apology To The Old Skool Fans On Behalf of Game Girl, Trax, and Rookieman - Hero Xtreme 7.9 - 02-11-2017

The scene opens to NOCMM staring down at his invisible watch. The clock strikes 5:22 PM XWF time exactly forty-eight hours since his last promo.

NOCMM: Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. You could only manage to silence me for so long. So you fags wanted to take the weekend off? That's fine, for normal people, but you're supposed to be entertainers. That's more than a full-time job.

NOCMM dips his invisible hand in some powder.

NOCMM: We all know Trax's reason for not shooting a promo.

NOCMM throws some powder at the camera. The cameraman closes his eyes because he's not a like Trax, and he knows better than monkeys. The old skool fans start chanting "Cameraman got screwed" and it's a legitimate chant unlike the one in Trax's recap in his first promo.

NOCMM: Why are Rookiepool and Game Girl being such lazy fucks though? They aren't as good at making excuses. They're sitting at home, no powder in their eyes, doing fuck all, because come on. What else are they going to do? They could go on an adventure of some kind, but what's the point? No one gives a fuck about them anyway. Why would you go on an adventure if no one wants to see it?

NOCMM gives a questioning glare to the camera, despite no one being able to see it.

NOCMM: It would show dedication. It would show a love for this sport. It would help promote this match. In the wrestling business it's not about what you've done. It's about what you've done in the past 48 hours. Those are all good reasons to go on a little adventure that no one will bother watching, but it's obvious that Game Girl and Rookiepool don't have dedication or a love for this sport. They don't want to promote this match or prove that they belong in this business. Trax has a shitty excuse, but these rookies have nothing.

NOCMM stomps on a monkey's tiny dick.

NOCMM: Trax can fall back on his timeless excuses. His only verifiable skill, but Rookiepool and Game Girl have nothing but their adventures and the comic books they're ripping off. Your market is dying. Marvel is losing money hand over fist, Trax's alt-right ilk will say it's because SJWs took over and made it shitty, but I know the truth. No one gives a fuck about adventures anymore. Especially from people who are too lazy to go on them.

NOCMM shakes his head.

NOCMM: Unlike Trax, I am capable of apologizing. So, old skool fans, I would like to say I'm sorry on the behalf of these green shitty fucking worthless rookies. Their failure to produce a promo, isn't just sad. It's pathetic. Whatever the excuse is that Trax gives you, I want you to know that I'm sorry you had to sit through it. I'm sorry the 'anti-flood rules' are stopping me from making you content to watch. I'm sorry.

NOCMM's genuine apology hangs in the air. Sgt. Hayward has a tear in his eye as him and the veterans torture their clone of Trax while watching this promo.

Sgt. Hayward: Why couldn't Trax just do that...why?

Their clone of Trax becomes less and less dominant as the scene fades to an Xtreme shade of black.