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+---- Thread: The Killjoy Product Table (/showthread.php?tid=25935)
The Killjoy Product Table - Killjoy - 12-20-2016
*a set of three long tales filled with signs, posters and T-Shirts reading the same thing*
#KJXWFT51
KILLJOY: Getcher shirts here kids! Don't go without these fabulous gifts and stocking stuffers.
*KJ continues to hawk merch till he sees...*
The Killjoy Product Table - "Dark Warrior" Micheal Graves - 01-11-2017
Micheal Graves is standing about twenty feet away staring a hole through the Prince of Pranks.
The Killjoy Product Table - Killjoy - 01-12-2017
*gives a slightly dismissive wave in Grave's direction*
I told you already Mikey I don't have any in black and blood red...seriously, I wouldn't lie to you. It's purple or nothing!
The Killjoy Product Table - "Dark Warrior" Micheal Graves - 01-12-2017
Micheal Graves suddenly smiles from ear to ear as he reveals that he was hiding a cream pie behind his back to whole time.
"Hey KJ joke's on you!"
Micheal reaches back, over exaggerating the motion you would make if you were readying to toss a pie.
The Killjoy Product Table - Killjoy - 01-12-2017
So help me Mikey if you get any custard on my merch I'll...I'll...I'm not sure what I'll do but it won't be nice let me tell you...
The Killjoy Product Table - "Dark Warrior" Micheal Graves - 01-12-2017
Micheal slowly winds his arm as he pivots back on one foot and the pitch!
No... No wait Micheal dropped the pie behind him and began to laugh.
MG: "You should have seen your face KJ!"
Micheal continued to laugh at KJ for a moment before finally gaining his composure. Mikey pulled his wallet out of his rear Jean pocket as he pointed to the purple shirt.
MG: "Let me get 4 of those, 1 XXL, one med, one youth small and one youth med. I'll deck the whole family out in KillJoy merch!"
The Killjoy Product Table - Cadryn Tiberius - 01-13-2017
Out of the blue, Cadryn stumbles upon a line of tables.
Tables filled with merchandise! Cadryn looks around and spots long time companion and bff Michael Graves. Even if Graves isn't as excited about their friendship as Cadryn. Cadryn sneakily approaches Graves as he was sure he hadn't been spotted yet.
Right before Graves has a chance to realize what is going on Cadryn wraps his twiggy arms around him and kisses him ever so slightly on the cheek.
The Killjoy Product Table - "Dark Warrior" Micheal Graves - 01-13-2017
Micheal Graves, shocked my the sudden "attack", wrestles his way loose from Cadryns grip and turns around looking horrified.
"Dude seriously, WHAT THE FUCK!?"
Micheal stand there for a second trying to decide if his should lay Cadryns on his ass for the act of rape before deciding to just vacate the area. Micheal looks over to Kill Joys direction as he hurriedly walks away.
"I'll get those shirts later man!"
The Killjoy Product Table - Cadryn Tiberius - 01-13-2017
Cadryn realizing his mistake quickly tries to rectify the situation.
My Gravy, come back. It was just a best friend peck, don't be startled, kitten! I'll share my cereal with you, snookums!
Cadryn somehow, someway, pulls a bowl of Fruity Pebbles out of thin air. Where the hell was he hiding that cereal bowl?
As Cadryn begins to pursue his Gravy, he is caught off guard by the sheer amount of awesome merchandise Killjoy has to offer.
Suddenly, as if it were written in stone, Cadryn trips.
Launching his bowl of sweet, precious, Fruity Pebbles into the air and effectively covering an entire merchandise table in cereal.
Cadryn quickly recovers and locks eyes with Killjoy before speaking ever so softly.
...Got milk?
The Killjoy Product Table - Killjoy - 01-14-2017
Killjoy stares at down at the cereal laden merch...
...
...then shrugs.
KJ: I can work with this. Limited edition...yeah, that's the ticket!
Getcher limited edition, one-time-only Killjoy-approved slightly badgered...er....cerealed #KJXWFT51 merchandise! Even cereal...killer, really? Huh, ok, cereal killers like them!!!
...
...
...
Why would anyone kill cereal?
The Killjoy Product Table - drezdin5788 - 01-14-2017
I WANT ONE!...please
re:The Killjoy Product Table - JimCaedus - 01-15-2017
'What are you _doing_? There's gotta be a thrift store within at least 20 miles of this place and you're gonna spend some of that dwindling dough on some over-priced _Killjoy_ merch?'
Continuing to make my way down the hall towards Killjoy's table, I peer down at my own clothes, the same rags I'd been wearing since December. I take a big whiff...they smell like rancid onions and unwiped assholes.
"I'd rather wear something in context with the combined words 'kill' and 'joy' than what I have on or some over-priced lice-infested fuckin' hand-me-downs. I wanna feel something quality made against my skin, that ok with you!? I'M TIRED OF THIS SHIT!!"
I've made it, Killjoy's merch table.
'This is why you're poor, you imbecile. Aw for cryin' out- there's _cereal_ all over the shirts!'
"Still better than what I have-"
I notice the over seven foot monster standing in my periphery and turn to peer into his chest. Then I adjust my view, my eyes traveling up the trunk of the redwood to a pair of glaring eyes.
"-on."
'_That's_ Drezdin!?'
"Drezdin. Holy Christ, you're a whole lot bigger than I thought you were. I guess, for once, someone was looking out for me when they didn't add me to your 15k challenge. I'm glad my name isn't Billy Gore..."
'No shit.'
I pull out the cash for one...think it over and pull out double the amount. I look to Killjoy...he's doing what he's been doing, I assume, since Drez stalked over: staring up at the monster with mouth agape.
"Hey......HEY."
I get his attention.
"One for me-"
I snatch a large.
"-one for him."
I snatch a quadruple XL off the top of the formerly untouched monster size stack off to the far left and hand it to Drez.
'Christ, his hand is as big as your fuckin' head!'
I toss Killjoy the cash and turn to leave.
"Kick Gore's ass Drez."
I walk away, switching my yellowed plain white T shirt with my new shirt.
'Now you only need new shorts. You still smell like unwiped assholes...'