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+---- Thread: Some words from the desk of the XWF's new Director of Security (/showthread.php?tid=25347)
Some words from the desk of the XWF's new Director of Security - Tommy Gunn - 10-27-2016
XWF...
XW fucking F.
The unmistakably raspy voice of Tommy Gunn is heard as the scene fades in.
As the camera finally comes to focus we see Tommy Gunn the new Director of XWF Security being flanked by two men of equally brutish builds. Both men are wearing red shirts with the word "Security" written in Black on the front of them.
What's going on XWF? Long time no talk.
You know it's amazing how much of a shit sandwich this place turned into after I left.
What used to be the pinnacle for wrestling federations the world over became a hot bed for basic bitches and fat pieces of shit like Peter Gilmour.
Oh wait my bad. It seems as though ole Pety went through his yearly rapid weight loss program and now he's skinny again. This fucking guy adds and sheds weight like he were some Hollywood actor. Guy still hasn't learned to act like a decent wrestler though. But I guess there is something comforting about knowing that Peter Gilmour will always be the same. Right down to the disgusting piece of ass that he's currently tapping. Christ Gilmour, of all the disgusting pigs you've put your millimeterpeter into this new chick is without a shadow of a doubt the most disgusting of the bunch. I mean, I honestly thought that was a guy in drag until Vinnie had to explain it to me. Gross.
You know there was a time when the people that headlined this place were some of the biggest names in the industry. Guys like Doc D'Ville, Gator, John Madison, even the head of the negro revolution Trax and of course the new owner of the XWF Vincent Lane. Some of the biggest and best wrestlers on the planet, they were the guys holding the titles.
Now what? I've been gone seven months and I come back to find that Peter Gilmour won not one but two titles?
A wet fart like Ghost Tank won the Hart Title? And is now the longest reigning Hart Champion of all time? Ghost fucking Tank. If you were to look up blood stained tampon wrapped in a shit covered condom in the dictionary it would simply be a picture of Ghost Tank. And now he's the longest reining Hart Champion...How the fuck?
And Scully...fucking Scully, a guy who cuts promo's that are so sleep inducing that Doctor's across the world are now recommending it to patients with Insomnia as some kind of miracle cure. He's this fed's top Champion?
Are you fucking kidding me?
Wasn't that long ago that fucking idiot made other
look like they belonged in Mensa, how he's the Universal Champ. Vinnie...how in the fuck did you let that happen? I know you're the guy that lost to Peter Gilmour more times than a Chicken Parm sandwich but what the fuck?
I guess this sort of bullshit is to be expected
A 14 year old girl is a champion...A FUCKING 14 YEAR OLD GIRL...now granted it was hilarious when my nephew beat Peter Gilmour in a match. I loved it. You loved it. We all loved it. But let's be real here. It was Peter Gilmour and it was just a match.
But this...
A 14 year old girl is a champion here? What in the fuck is going on?
I guess it's not all bad though. Now we all know for sure that Poppa Waters is in fact terrible seeing as how his 14 year old cock sucker for cah is already twice the wrestler that he ever was.
But don't worry Muddy, your daughter hasn't taken everything from you. You are still the biggest bitch in the family.
Speaking of bitches, what in the actual fuck was that Thaddeus Duke promo about? Kiddie fucking? Incest? When the fuck? Was Thad Duke really Pest under that mask?
How in the fuck is that kind of shit even allowed? I thought you had a tighter lid on this place Vinnie? Get it together "dude".
God damn that felt good.
Alright now let's get to the meat of it.
Since I've been back a few people have asked me what exactly my role is here at the XWF and while I thought Vinnie made it pretty fucking clear on Warfare exactly what my job is it appears that he didn't make it clear enough. So let me break it down for all of you.
If you get lippy with the boss you get a beating.
If you get to close to the boss or his girlfriend you get a beating.
If you decide to get real brave and actually put your hands on the boss oh my God will you get a beating. And then after you eventually wake up from the coma that I put you in you'll get another beating just for good measure.
Long story short, fuck with Lane or Roxy and you deal with me.
And for you new comers that aren't exactly sure what all that entails, just ask your former Xtreme Champion and XWF legend Unknown Soldier. You know, the guy that held the title for a day short of six months, only to lose it to me 15 seconds after I showed up.
Oh and to whichever dried up cum stain wins Doc D'Ville's rumble and becomes the next Unified Xtreme Champion...you're welcome because you know as well as I do that that shit wouldn't have been possible without me doing what none of you other fucks could do and that's pin Soldier.
Happy hunting bitches.
OOC: Just so we are clear the things above are the thoughts of Tommy Gunn and not me the writer. Except the part about Peter Gilmour's new girlfriend. She is in fact gross. Grosser than the chick from In This Moment and I honestly didn't think that was possible. Peter bro, we need to have a talk about your taste in women.
re:Some words from the desk of the XWF's new Director of S... - Dolly Waters - 10-27-2016
Oh blow it out yer ass you fuckin generic Rambo.
Tommy fuckin Wish ladies and dicks, yer new chief of "who gives a fuck"
Oh I meant Tommy Gunn. It's all moot anyhow... Good luck with yer "make XWF Great Again" bullshit. Have a nice time dickin Roxy down behind Lanes back and contracting more STDs than Gilly.
Jesus H... The nerve of some queers.
OOC welcome back ;)
Some words from the desk of the XWF's new Director of Security - Tommy Gunn - 10-27-2016
Jesus H. Christ, you blow your teachers with that mouth?
Maybe I was wrong and Dolly actually is the biggest bitch in the family after all.
I almost feel bad for Muddy now. If his twat daughter is like this his wife must be a real cunt.
Listen here Dolly and listen good because apparently you weren't paying attention the first time.
I'm not here to make the XWF Great Again. That's Vinnie's job.
I'm here to beat the unholy hell out of anyone who steps out of line. And if that means putting the boots to a 14 year old girl and kicking the tissue paper out of your training bra then so be it.
You sign on the dotted line to become an XWF wrestler then you are subject to the same beatings as everyone else.
So do yourself a favor and keep your trap shut. Go back to texting your friends and taking selfies on twitter before you end up getting hurt.
OOC: Thanks man.
re:Some words from the desk of the XWF's new Director of S... - Dolly Waters - 10-27-2016
You? Hurt me? Yeaah, good luck pal.
In case you didn't notice while being treated at the VA for post traumatic dicksucking syndrome, I've been running roughshod all over this entire federation. And if you're so apt to feel something in your gullet aside from BC Powders and jizz, I will gladly introduce you to my knee,
.But yer right, I am a bitch, maybe the biggest bitch you've ever met. So since you've decided to take some meaningless gig to pay your next month's rent for whatever crack alley motel den you call home before inevitably slipping back into irrelevance, maybe I'll just make it my mission to make your life a living hell in the meantime.
But for now I have another win, and another championship to prepare for, something you know so little about.
Some words from the desk of the XWF's new Director of Security - Peter Fn Gilmour - 10-27-2016
the coward returns.. still talking shi like his deadbeat dad..
Don't cross my path or I'll bury u next to your grandparents the have your mom ssuck my dick
Ooc: hi theo
Some words from the desk of the XWF's new Director of Security - Tommy Gunn - 10-27-2016
Running roughshod over the federation...and?
Maybe you missed the part where I made it blatantly obvious to even the most ignorant of people that this federation is a fucking joke now.
You claim that you are running roughshod over this place is the same thing as being proud of winning a gold medal at the special olympics.
Congratulations, you are the best of the worst. I hope your parents of their future cum dumpster.
As for making my life a living hell, go right ahead kid, you won't be the first idiot to try and take me on and I'm sure you won't be the last.
And as for you Gilmour, I have literally no fucking idea what you just said. None of it made any sense. None.
Go back to fucking that hideous beast of yours before you end up with a broken jaw.
OOC: Sup dawg?
Some words from the desk of the XWF's new Director of Security - Peter Fn Gilmour - 10-27-2016
least mia yim better looking than yo mom
Some words from the desk of the XWF's new Director of Security - Tommy Gunn - 10-27-2016
Mia Dim isn't better looking than anyone or anything. That includes this pig I know named Taco. Taco is better looking than Mia Dim.
Some words from the desk of the XWF's new Director of Security - Peter Fn Gilmour - 10-27-2016
yet i bet he/she smells like one
re:Some words from the desk of the XWF's new Director of S... - Mr Killjoy - 10-27-2016
"Head of the Negro Revolution"..hm.
I'll let that backhanded comment slide on the account I agree with pretty much everything you said, especially the part regarding Scully and are now devalued Universal Championship.