+- X-treme Wrestling Federation (https://xwf99.com)
+-- Forum: (https://xwf99.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=113)
+--- Forum: Archives (https://xwf99.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=13)
+---- Forum: 24/7 Federweight Championship (https://xwf99.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=72)
+---- Thread: The Federweight Blitz (/showthread.php?tid=24599)
The Federweight Blitz - Nico LaVey - 08-22-2016
So, obviously no one wants to fight me for the belt on my shoulder, so how about I make it easier for you guys? If you don't remember the Jerkbeast Blitz, the rules are simple. Five people come up one by one, I diss them one by one, and at the end of it all, Vinnie decides the winner. Once you've spoken, you may not speak again. Step up and get F'ed up.
The Federweight Blitz - OneInTheChamber - 08-23-2016
Chris: Mike check one two one two. Aye its your boy Chris Chambers, how do ya do? Stepping into the ring to take the belt away from you. From the hands of Nate Higgers to the hands of Nico LaVey, step what you doin, listen to what I say. Actually, take a few minutes to go ahead and pray. Because when I get done with you, you gonna need a favor from the Lord because I straight slayed you with the Word. Romans Twelve Two says: And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. You aint great you ain't good, so go back to your hood. Toss me that belt and be on your way, Nico LaVey.
Chambers makes a pin... 1.... 2..... |
re:The Federweight Blitz - Nico LaVey - 08-24-2016
Nico kicks out.
Thanks for the fucking bible lesson. It's not like I'm a Satanist or anything. It's not like I know every religious text by heart. It's not like I don't give a fuck. Are you really still doing the whole fucking rhyming thing? It's fucking awful. Just because you saw Jefferson Bethke do it in a video doesn't mean you can do it too. I'm not great or good? Well, I'm at least better than you because I actually successfully defended the championship. You lost it in, what, a day? 12 hours? Who cares? It's not like your reign mattered.
Next Jabroni.
re:The Federweight Blitz - Equinox - 08-25-2016
Nox wanders in and surveys the scene. He smirks and stares at Nico.
Every religious text by heart, how many denominations did you try before realizing just how much space you waste. Is it true that the only acknowledgement of your birth is a letter your parents received from a condom factory, apologizing for their faulty product. Geez Louise, do you get your trash talk from Oscar the Grouch's gay cousin thriced removed? Maverick's asshole spews better shit than you, don't believe, go find his turd. Your a ticking time bomb of confetti, all show and not much else. Jonathan Brandis had more sucess than this reign you have, so let me drop you like a ladybug from a never-ending story with a side kick.
JBL: That's how you do it Maggle, Nox just told Nico Goodnight Sweet Prince with that Pop-up Superkick.
Cole: He's got him rolled up, he could do it here John.
JBL: Make yourself famous kid.
1..........
2........
re:The Federweight Blitz - Nico LaVey - 08-25-2016
Nico kicks out and Mafia Kicks Equinox.
...do you even know my background, Equinox? I read those texts so I could be a better teacher of my own faith. Besides, what religious text would call you a waste of space? That's completely fucking counterproductive.
Did you just use a joke that I haven't heard since I was fucking 12? Hot damn, the insults are really good today. I might be called a poopyhead next.
How the fuck am I supposed to find Maverick? He might as well be fucking dead. What, are you snorting cocaine out of his rotting asshole?
Next Jabroni.
re:The Federweight Blitz - The Blue Tango - 08-25-2016
What's this all about? A Federweight "Battle Royale"? The fuck?
Ugh.
You're the son of the devil, right?
.....
No. No, no no. Not even close. You're the son of some jaggoff with just another idea. I'm just curious, dude, do you even know what Satanism is? Just curious. You make it sound like some SUPER BADASS THING which instantaneously morphs you into some fearing superbeast of a bitch. I hope you're not killing anything...
How old was that weirdo when you popped out, anyway? Sixty? No wonder you were forgotten about, the fucker didn't even know who he was at that point. You know he's dead right? Anyone tell you? I mean, it's not like he would've made too many soccer games anyway...
Speaking of soccer, that Federweight Title. You DO know why no one is really going after the title right? Because it's dying dude. That titles been around since before Partyboy Vinnie Lane was champ, bruh. No one gives a fuck about that thing anymore. I just figured I'd shine some light. You've been dancing around here waiting for your chance, right?? , Well.... HERE IT IS!
Not. Fuck you.
........ calypsooooooooooooooo......... I whispered that while waving my hands very mystically as I pinned Nico.
re:The Federweight Blitz - Nico LaVey - 08-26-2016
Nico kicks out.
When the fuck have I said I was the AntiChrist? Do you even know my story? Dude, I've said it a billion fucking times, I'm not a LaVeyan Satanist. I'm a real Satanist. Just because I share a name with the religion doesn't mean I believe it, fucktard.
Yes, he was sixty. No, he didn't forget me, he died of a pulmonary edema, not Alzheimer's. Of course I know he's dead, I watched him fucking die at the age of seven. The reason I was rich to begin with was because I inherited a majority of his fortune. Every dollar I make is a reminder of the fact that he's dead.
Wait, so the title is dying? Why the fuck are you competing for it? You haven't been on the site in fucking months and you think, what, that the title would be best on you? If I'm holding a dying title, you'd be holding it's rotting corpse.
Next Jabroni.
re:The Federweight Blitz - Jamaican Jimmy - 08-27-2016
Jimmy walks by eating some beef jerky.
EYYYYYYY mon!
You seen me boy Calypso anywhere 'round 'ere? Me be lookin' for 'im all day and all I be findin' is some skinny lookin' nancy wit' jeans too tight and a tramp stamp o' some goat in a star. Why you be trippin' bout Satan, boy? Don't you know dat JEEEEEEEEEEsus be de way?
I tell you what you need, sweet cheeks... you need some of dis right 'ere prime Jamaican cheeba. Dis shit right 'ere will finally make some hair grow out dem bald baby nuts you got! Maybe you can even chill like a real IRIE mon, ya?
Toke this up my bruddah, den you'll feel the cool ocean breeze in your veins, mon! You'll feel the hot sand between your black toes, like mine, and 'ear the rhythm o' de island's steel drum. It be soundin' like this...
Jimmy crams a bad of skunk weed in Nico's face, then grabs the Federweight belt and slams it into the back of his skull. Nico collapses and Jimmy awkwardly pins him.
1!
2!
re:The Federweight Blitz - Nico LaVey - 08-28-2016
Nico kicks out and put Jimmy's weed in Calypso's pocket.
Do these really look like fucking skinny jeans? I'm wearing dress pants, dipshit. And even if I did have a tramp stamp, I'm wearing a coat over where it would be. You wouldn't be able to see it if I had one.
Wait, so weed, a relaxing drug, would put hair on my balls? That doesn't make any sense at all. If you're really even Jamaican and Rastafari, you suck at being Jamaican and Rastafari.
Next and Final Jabroni.
The Federweight Blitz - Frodo mother fucking Smackins - 08-28-2016
Frodo strolls by and makes an announcement.
| New Federweight Champion: Calypso |
re:The Federweight Blitz - Nico LaVey - 08-28-2016
OOC: Took too long to reply, huh? Well, it was fun while it lasted. Maybe I'll try to give Jerkbeast another run.
The Federweight Blitz - Frodo mother fucking Smackins - 08-28-2016
Nah, he forced you to almost break character. The comment about the belt dying really hit you and it was obvious.
re:The Federweight Blitz - Nico LaVey - 08-28-2016
I don't see the breaking character part, but I do sorta see what you mean by the remark affecting me.