+- X-treme Wrestling Federation (https://xwf99.com)
+-- Forum: XWF OOC (https://xwf99.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=15)
+--- Forum: Out Of Character (OOC) Board (https://xwf99.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=29)
+--- Thread: Feedback, Please. (/showthread.php?tid=23812)
Feedback, Please. - Nico LaVey - 05-05-2016
Leper Messiah
http://xwf99.com/showthread.php?tid=23772
M'Willis
http://xwf99.com/showthread.php?tid=23811
Feedback, Please. - Makaveli - 05-06-2016
First one was good.
Maybe it's just me but I'm not a fan of all the replays in the second one, like reading 2 role plays and for those who already read the other one it's like a reread. Waste of space in my oppinion. Could be more creative with your response. You are a good writer, use your imagination
Feedback, Please. - Jon Willis - 05-06-2016
I liked both of them. The character is really interesting, and especially in the second RP, you landed some good shots on Jon as a character.
I echo what Mak said, though. I think it's important to maintain the suspension of disbelief. I love seeing the back-and-forth when two characters are responding to each other, but I like to see it done naturally. Just hitting the quote button and responding to each individual talking point honestly breaks the illusion that Nico and Jon are real people about to fight each other.
Other than that I've had a lot of fun going against you and have enjoyed your RP's.
Feedback, Please. - #MemeQueen Luca Torchwick - 05-06-2016
Yeah I'm gonna echo this sentiment. Quoting everything/drowning that bitch in quotes looks more like you're building a shrine for your oppenent or that you need your opponent's words to have any trash talk material at all. One or two quotes on big points can be huge and super effective, but hella quotes like that, not so much. Law of diminishing returns and such.