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Leper Messiah. - Printable Version

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Leper Messiah. - Nico LaVey - 04-28-2016




“And you will know my name is the Lord when I cast my vengeance onto you!”

The people of Sacramento cheer deafeningly loud as Pastor Dave McClure walks off the stage.
The cameras show footage of people in the crowd holding their hands up in praise, old women
and little boys alike crying in immense joy. Some of them are wearing T-Shirts that they bought
before they sat down. Some are wearing hats with trademarked slogans on them. Some have
cups, beanies, books, promotional magazines, and goodie bags. All of them with McClure’s
face, name, and slogans on them.

The cameras cut off, and McClure walks through a door behind the stage. He is met with much
applause from his tech crew, family, and acquaintances. He puts both his hands up to tell them
to be quiet, and their applause slowly fades.

“Alright, alright, settle down! Fantastic work tonight, all of you! We need to be in Portland in a
day, so we need to get going ASAP, alright?”


His tech crew gladly yells “SIR, YES SIR!” and goes to tear down the stage and put it in the
production truck.

“Now, go to your hotel rooms, rest up, and I'll see you for breakfast in the morning! God bless
you all!”


The remaining people cheer again, and he walks through them to get to his dressing room. On
the way, he waves and says “God Bless You” to people passing by him. He walks through the
door looking down at his phone and loosening his tie. He smiles at the text he sees on the
screen as he sits down. He finishes his text and looks up into the mirror, his smile quickly turning
into a look of worry as he stares at a figure in the mirror. The camera focuses on the figure in the
mirror, and we see Nico LaVey, smiling, sitting with his hands on the back of his head.

“You got the quote wrong. It's ‘you will know my name is the Lord when I strike my vengeance
upon thee.’”


McClure, shocked, turns to Nico and exclaims, “My son, how are you on this fine day?”

“Don’t give me that shit. You know exactly who I am.” Nico stands up and walks to the middle of
the room.


“I know who you are, I know the things you’ve done, but in the eyes of the Father, you are still
an important part of his flock. I forgive you… do you forgive yourself?”


Nico walks up and slaps McClure.

“This isn’t about me. This is about you.”

McClure feels his cheek. Bruising is already starting to set in. Nico pulls up a chair.

“You really thought I wouldn’t find out sooner or later? I hate to burst your bubble, but I have a
television too.”


Nico pulls out a contract and hands it to McClure. The contract has a chunk of text highlighted.

“Read it to me.”

McClure begrudgingly looks down at the contract.

“Once this document has been signed, the signer will have immense success in his chosen
field. However, any field or act regarding observance of religious text or worship of a deity other
than the Dark Lord will result in immediate cancellation of this contract and, depending on the
level of success gained, punishment by fining, imprisonment, or execution.”


McClure becomes very clearly worried reading the last three words of the contract. Nico stands
up, yanks it out of his hands and throws the chair he was just sitting in to the side.

“You really thought you could get away with this? Somehow, despite becoming hugely
successful and popular, I wouldn't fucking hear about it? Even if you did change your name, it
was only a matter of time.”


McClure starts pleading, holding his phone in his right hand.

“Please, I can have my lawyers-”

Nico grabs the phone and throws it across the room, snapping it in half and reducing the glass
to powder. Nico then puts his hands on McClure’s cheeks, a look of murderous intent searing in
his eyes.

“There isn't a loophole in there, sonny boy! No talking out of this one!”

Nico grabs McClure by the collar and pins him high against the wall on the other side of the
room.

“I was just thinking about our meeting the other day. I wondered to myself, “Whatever happened
to Arnold Greene? I haven't heard about him or heard from him a single time since our meeting
2 years ago!” Then, I come home to my darling wife, I'm sure you remember her, right? I
remember the way you ogled her tits, “Holy Man!” Anyways, I come home to my darling wife,
who had made the most delicious popcorn for our movie night. I turn on the television, and what
do I see? ARNOLD FUCKING GREENE HOLDING A BIBLE AND RECITING SCRIPTURE!”


Nico effortlessly throws him to the side, straddles him and starts wailing on his chest.

“Let me guess, you thought that using your deal to become a pastor would cancel out our
contract? You thought that maybe if you prayed on national television for a living, God would
forgive you and wave you inside? Nope, it cancels the contract all right…”


Nico, smiling, grabs McClure by the collar again.

“...and makes sure that you go straight to Malbolge, buddy!”

Nico shoves him down, making his head loudly hit the ground. He then gets off the bloodied
pastor, who crawls to the wall on his left side and props himself up against it. While this
happens, Nico grabs the chair he knocked over and drags it to where McClure sat against the
wall. To ensure he doesn't scream, Nico puts his foot across his throat. Not hard enough to
prevent him from breathing, but not soft enough to let him make noise.

“I wonder which circle you'll go into. There's Bolgia Five for extortionists, blackmailers, and
unscrupulous businessmen, where you're thrown into a pit of tar, torn to shreds when you get
out, put back together and thrown back in. Bolgia Six is for hypocrites, where a heavy lead robe
is placed on you and you are forced to walk in circles for eternity.”


Nico makes a slow circular motion in the air with his fingers to emphasize his statement.

“There's Bolgia Eight for those who lied for self-gain, where fire consumes your entire body until
you appear as only a walking, talking, just barely living flame. Ooh, there's Bolgia Nine, that's a
good one. There, those who promoted schism and scandal are given grave wounds and then
are forced to walk with said wounds until they heal up, which is when they are inflicted again.
Finally, there's Bolgia Ten, for falsifiers, where you are given multiple different diseases that will
wear away at your skin and sanity.”


Nico leans in closer.

“Or, instead, you'll possibly skip Malbolge and go as far down as you can go, the fourth round of
Cocytus, Judecca. This is for those who betrayed their masters. You'll be twisted into impossibly
painful positions and frozen into solid ice, unable to move, breathe, eat, or speak, as I know you
like to do so much. How ironic. A renowned Holy Man being sent to the same place Judas
Iscariot was sent. Not that you didn't know all of this already. After all, every pastor worth their
salt has read Dante’s Inferno, as well as the rest of the Divine Comedy.”


Nico takes his foot off McClure’s throat and walks to the other side of the room, grabbing a
porno magazine. He speaks in a mocking tone.

“WE NEED TO BAN THESE WRETCHED, WICKED MAGAZINES IN THE NAME OF JESUS!”

Nico opens to the center where the centerfold is torn out, and mockingly gives a shocked
expression.

“PASTOR, HOW COULD YOU?! I PAID YOU MONEY!”

Nico throws the magazine in McClure’s face. He quickly walks over and takes it off, dropping to
his knees to get to McClure’s level.

“The deal doesn't matter, Pastor. You've lied to millions of people. Even Jesus would think you're
a piece of shit.”


Nico holds McClure’s throat against the wall, actually choking him this time.

“You have a few options here, ‘McClure.’”

Nico puts air quotes around McClure.

“One, you give us your entire fortune. Every last thing you own will be given to us. In return, you
will be allowed to practice any religion. Two, you come with me back to Frisco and receive 20
years of torture. At the end of the torture, you will be freed and allowed to worship whoever or
whatever you want, like in the first one. Good thing you aren't old yet. You may actually stick
around for all 20 years. Three, I'll take you back to Frisco, torture you for as long as I wish, and
have you executed. Finally, I just kill you now and get it over with. Which will it be?”


Nico releases his grip on McClure and puts a butterfly knife to his throat. McClure coughs up
blood. He is heavily sweaty from the tension of the situation. As he ponders his options, Nico
continues staring with vicious emotion. McClure speaks.

“Look, maybe we can cut a deal. I'll continue my preaching, but I'll sneak Satan’s teachings into
my own. Think about it! Millions taught in the ways of your master!”


Nico’s expression doesn't change.

“I gave you four options. Choose one before I choose.”

McClure looks intensely panicked as he breathes heavily and looks around the room, nervously
considering his options.

“A-are you sure we can't do some sort of deal? I could pay you a certain percent of the profits!”

Nico laughs.

“Unless the percent is 99, no deal.”

“I could make it work! I have experience in this field!”

“So do I. I know when I'm about to be ripped off. You'll flee the country before I would get a
single payment. Not that it would matter. I could still track you down wherever you move to.”


McClure closes his eyes to try to calm down. He stays this way for a few seconds before yelling,
grabbing Nico’s collar, turning him around into the wall, and disarming him.

“OUR DEAL IS OVER, HELLSPAWN! MAY YOU ROT FOR ETERNITY!”

He makes an attempt to stab Nico, but is met with Nico quickly grabbing his wrist and wedging
his thumb into a nerve. He stands, grabs the knife from McClure, pockets it, and then knocks
him out with a right jab. Nico drapes McClure over his shoulder. As he walks away, he starts
speaking.

“I sentence you to torture and execution. You will remain silent. Any speech without being
spoken to will result in a lashing. If you do have a lawyer, you will not be able to contact him. If
you try to…”