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+---- Thread: The Man Behind The Book (/showthread.php?tid=22824)
The Man Behind The Book - Hysteria 'The Prophet' - 02-19-2016
“GRAAAAGH!”
The enormous zombie mastodon stands over 7 foot tall with an abdomen as forthcoming as Frodo is about his sexuality. Calypso stands behind Hysteria as he slowly peers over his shoulder.
“Wh-what do we do?”
Hysteria’s mask’s ink slowly circles around his face as if analyzing the situation. Finally the ink settles down as Hysteria laughs.
“Bahamahaha! We do what I do best. Kick ass and take names.”
Calypso does the magical hand signal in front of his own face as he gulps hard. The zombie doesn’t budge as Hysteria and Calypso slowly approach him. Hysteria brandishes his blade and the large zombie erupts in another growl! He lifts Hysteria up by his throat as Calypso slides around the back of him. The Masked Prophet slices and stabs at the behemoth with his blade cutting several gashes into him. Weird ooze flows instead of blood. Meanwhile Calypso is trying to reach the back of the head of this behemoth but can’t get a grip. The beast is so focused on Hysteria that it ignores Calypso altogether. Calypso looks around for anything to help and finds a chair. He pulls it up behind him.
Meanwhile Hysteria has managed to open the chest of the beast with his blade. Suddenly Calypso gives a primal scream as he leaps on top of the creature and begins raking at its eyes. With several loud grunts, the monster begins walking through the rooms trying to shake Calypso off of him! He swings one way and knocks several picture frames off the wall! Calypso’s eyes are shut as he screams at the swinging motion. Hysteria scurries around the kitchen looking for anything more effective than his small knife. He pulls open a drawer and finds spatulas and other cooking utensils but nothing sharp enough to do any sort of real damage.
Calypso screams as the big man throws him sideways into the side of the fridge. Hysteria looks at him with curiosity as his mask’s ink goes haywire! Hysteria opens another to find nothing but tools such as hammers and screwdrivers. He opens another as the drawer glows a golden shine! He reaches in and withdraws… a butcher’s knife.
“BAHAMAHAHAHAHA!!!”
The sinister laugh erupts from his throat which is enough to stop the big man in his tracks and glance in his direction. Calypso is still wrapped around his neck as he also looks at Hysteria. Calypso relinquishes his grasp and juts a thumb into the eye of the zombie! It cries out in pain as Hysteria quickly leaps up and, with one fell swoop, slices the head of the beast off. The ginormous body staggers backwards before collapsing onto the floor shaking the entire floor of the house.
Calypso looks down at the fallen fatty before glancing back up at Hysteria. He takes a step back before waving his hands in front of his face.
“Calypsoooooo!”
“Bahahaha! I like this carnage, but I think it’s time we moved away from this house before some truly bat-shit shenanigans happen.”
They walk towards the front door and open it. As they do, the sun immediately sets turning it into darkness. Hysteria looks around confused as does Calypso.
“Bruh… what just happened?”
“I’m not sure… but this magic seems familiar to me…”
The sound of enchantments catches the attention of Hysteria. He turns to his right and sees two hooded figures with torches. The one in front is carrying a book that is instantly familiar.
“The Book of the Higher Power! But no… Harrison buried it in a place in which no one could find it. High atop a mountain. Who are you?!?! ANSWER ME!”
The hooded figure with the book stops his enchantment as only his mouth is seen under the hood. He smirks as he looks up at Hysteria.
“I’ve been watching you… I found this book and now… I know the secrets! When read forwards to back, it reads the verses and books intended for normal followers to learn and memorize. When read from back to front, it’s enchantments that change the very nature of the world that surrounds us. These secrets were placed here by the Almighty Doctor Louis D’Ville, and it’s through him that our powers are bestowed. BEHOLD!”
The figure lifts up the books and completes the enchantment. A fireball appears in the air and shoots directly at Calypso! Calypso shrieks as Hysteria pushes him out of the way of the flame. Calypso’s eyes nearly bug out as he stares at Hysteria.
“You saved my life, bruh! How can I ever repay you!? Oh, I know! I’ll take you to this amazing piercing place back at-”
“Not the time!”
Hysteria dusts himself off as he gets to his feet. He turns to see the burned tree that the fireball had engulfed. Hysteria begins to laugh wildly as he points a crooked finger at the two.
“Is that all that book shows? Some cheap parlor tricks? You’re going to be in a world of hurt if that’s it!”
Hysteria lifts up his meat cleaver and begins to chase at the two wildly. The women stands forward and repeats three backwards words that sends Hysteria jolting back by a burst of energy! He hits the ground and glares at her. She slowly falls to her knees in exhaustion as the spell seemed to take a lot out of her.
“Margaret!”
The other begins to quickly yell some enchantments but Calypso is running blocker. He rushes forward and begins slapping the shit out of the guy only for him to bark a short command that creates an ear-splitting explosion of sound! Both Hysteria and Calypso fall to the ground with pain at the high-frequency of the sound. The younger man walks over to Hysteria and places a boot upon his chest.
“After the heinous actions you showed in that diner, this is only half of what you deserve. Your actions are finally coming back to bite you in the ass, kid. This spell will not only end your life, but this will end your tyranny throughout this world!”
The man lifts the book high and begins to chant once more. The further he gets in the chant, his eyes begin to flash a deep red as bloody tears begin to roll down his cheeks.
CALYPSO OUT OF NOWHERE! Calypso tackles the man to the ground as the book falls into the hands of Hysteria!
“Yeah, bruh! It’s time you returned that book to the library before your penalty is high!”
Hysteria gets to his feet with a sigh and a mild laugh at the moronic statements from Calypso. Hysteria approaches the young man with a sinister chuckle.
“My life? It seems all but secure, but yours? Well that’s now in our hands as I take it that you two were the ones to summon us to a home where the undead reigned supreme.”
Hysteria takes the book and cracks it over the head of the man. As he crumples to the ground, his face slowly begins to age in the span of a few moments. The once young face transforms into a wrinkled face of both the next-door neighbor and the older gentleman from the diner! His look changes from curiosity to intrigue as the ink shifts oddly. Calypso looks at the old guy and back to Hysteria for a few moments.
“So, uh… what are we doing? We can’t just kill them.”
“True, they deserve a fate worse than death for raising the dead as they did.”
So Hysteria and Calypso drag the bodies back inside and call the cops, making sure to leave long before they arrived. The older man and his wife were transported to jail for the murder of five missing people.
A few hours later, we rejoin Calypso and Hysteria inside of a car. Calypso is driving as Hysteria is in the back watching out the window. The tension is awkward as it slowly drives Calypso nuts. He gazes at Hysteria every few seconds in the rear-view mirror.
“Bruh, what did you think about what Isles and Tush had to say about you?”
Hysteria chuckles a little beneath his breath as he continues his gaze.
“Those fucknuggets? Look at Isles, he goes MIA all week only to throw a promo up last second that seems as if he payed fuck-all attention all week. Well Mr. Isles, I would go into a deep, elaborate discussion on why you’re a fucking moron for coming at us with that approach, but I do believe my friend for the week Dick E has that well sorted. I was originally going to just leave you to the massacre coming at the hands of Dick, but… your partners have been very quiet. Leaving me nothing to talk about BUT you. So let’s see… Calypso, what’s the number one rule of combat?”
“Always wearing comfortable pants to move in?”
“No, no, no. Always know your enemy. Know their weaknesses, know their story. What this kid decided to do was totally ignore any promo posted by myself, Dick, or Tommy. What he fails to realize is just how STUPID that is. ‘Hey, I’m going to enter a match and just ignore everything they do to me.’ You realize that you can ignore a dropkick as much as you want, but the boot is still going to leave an imprint on your jaw. So go ahead, ignore while I take a shit on your floor and rub your fucking face in it.”
Hysteria sighs as he looks out the window.
“Why is it so hard for you people to realize that The Asylum had one purpose? Its purpose was to capture souls to feed Doc for when he rose to a place of power. THAT WAS IT. Y’know what? I’m done with this. Done with these fuckers. They want to play little games? Well I’m through playing into their hand. Calypso? Take us to Las Vegas.”
They drive away into the night as they approach Las Vegas and Shove It.