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+---- Thread: The Randomware Computers Attack! Part 2 (/showthread.php?tid=21183)
The Randomware Computers Attack! Part 2 - Dean Moxley McGovern - 08-08-2015
Picks up right where RP 1 left off: http://xwf99.com/showthread.php?tid=21134
Frodo mother fucking Smackins, hangs up his goddamn phone, and looks at it for a second. He shakes his head, and gets in his car. A little bit later he’s standing outside of a Compton Estate, where there’s a massive hole in the wall. He looks around, and picks up the box of condoms, and the pitcher of Astroglide, yes Pitcher, and rushes head first into the wall. The wall crumbles, and he lands inside the house.
â€OH! YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!â€
Everyone looks at him in confusion.
Dean: Why didn’t you use the other hole?
â€And miss my chance to play Kool-Aid guy?! No thank you. Katie did it once at the house, but she didn’t smash the walls. It fucked me up. Can you believe my own daughter doesn’t know how to play Kool Aid man properly?â€
Every shrugs their shoulders, and Frodo surveys the situation. Thinking as quickly as he possibly can after that wall crash he surmises a plan. He throws the pitcher into the air, and to everyone's lack of amazement, pulls his dick out and throws a condom on super quick. Before the pitcher lands he throws the rest of the condoms at Diaper boy and gives him a wink. The pitcher lands right smack dab in Frodo's open hand, and he drizzles that shit on his sausage like losses on CJ Sharpe's record.
(oh! oh shit! ownededed!)
With the speed and ferocity it took for Fontanna to lose to Tommy Wish, Frodo begins to jerk off while screaming a name.
"Darren Dangerous!!! Darren Dangerous!!! Darren Dangerous!!! Darren Dangerous!!! Darren Dangerous!!! Darren Dangerous!!! Darren Dangerous!!! Darren Dangerous!!! Darren Dangerous!!! Darren Dangerous!!! Darren Dangerous!!! Darren Dangerous!!!
Diaper Boy: What is he doing?
Dean: Getting in the mood baby, oh yeah!
Frodo finishes, luckily he wasn't trying to please a woman because she'd be as unsatisfied as anyone who sleeps with Anthony Steele. Frodo removes the condom he was using, looks at it, and twirls it over his head like a goddamn helicopter blade. The condom rips and goes flying off and hits the computer robot, who gets angry and charges at Frodo. He quickly pulls a Bacon Club Chalupa from his pocket, and tosses it to Pringle Boi.
"Taco Bell don't deliver, but bruh, I do."\
The Father of Titles gives an approving nod, as Frodo baseball slides under the monster's attack, and quickly pulls his Zune and cord out of the pocket. Yes, he has a Classic Zune because he's too cool for skool. He savagely plugs that baby into the computer's gaping asshole and the Monster reverts back to a normal computer. Frodo cues up the Zune program and blasts some Cher Lloyd for the Krew.
"That's why you never buy Apple."
The Father of Titles takes one bite out of the Chalupa of Baconness and immediately kips back up to his feet. It's almost like he didn't just get flung into a wall by an angry, suddenly anthropomorphic computer. He up and does a waltz with the Chalupa, only stopping when he realizes everyone's staring at him. A green bar appears over his head, indicating his return to full form.
100%
YAAAAAAAAAAAAOW! Ahhright ladies, let's do this--
Just like that, a rock with googly eyes and colorful string glued to it flies through the air. Frodo ducks under it but the Father of Titles doesn't see it coming. It strikes him in the head and knocks him to the ground, also knocking his Chalupa into the hole his head created. That green bar pops up again, only this time it's half red. Oh shit are the computers infecting the green bars? Will they rest until they enslave everything ever?
50%
Diaper Boy: Rocky!
Diaper Boy rushes over to where the rock lays, cradling it like it was his own child. Pringle Boi 187, the Father of Titles, King of Pringles, etc. etc. etc. weakly raises his head off the ground at looks the gently sobbing Diaper Boy.
You named your pet rock Rocky? Come on Diaper Bro.
Everyone looks back at the army of computers, who at this point have formed a line, standing shoulderish to shoulderish with each other, displaying a whole series of unsavory messages directed at our three heroes. The computer that's been cleansed flickers on and off. Oh shit, the computer army is attempting to bring that one back to their own side but the power of the Zune of Prophecy is keeping it at bay!
The computers look as startled as computers can look, but then Rocky soars through the air again. This time it smashes through one of the computer screens! That computer crumples up and falls to the ground, emitting a series of sparks before finally powering down permanently. The whole Louis CKrew turns to the Pringle Boi, who's half in a daze and ranting over to the wall.
HAHA! Fuck all y'all computer fuckers! KING KONG AIN'T GOT SHIT ON ME!
That fucking green bar pops up again, and everyone shrugs, understanding his manic state of mind now.
25%
The congregation of computerbros look down at their fallen comrade as a series of 1s and 0s come across their screens.
Uh oh!
"Oh shit."
I RUN THIS SHIT YOU JUST LIVE HERE!
WE ARE, ROBOTS FROM, OUTER, SPACE.
The computer standing in the middle of the group's arms start to flail and spasm. After a few seconds they can see why. One of its arms has just turned into a fucking machine gun! Our heroes' eyes simultaneously bulge out of their skulls, cartoon style and with the exception of the Father of Titles, they all slowly step back towards the holes.
DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE.
Bang band bang bang! Bang x 50! Bang x 1,000,000,000! So many bullets you'd think the bullets represented spelling and grammatical errors of The Dope Show!
(too true!)
After the bullets stop flying everybody looks shocked. They're all ok! Nobody has a single hole in their body except the ones the good lord gave them!
Except for Diaper Boy.
Dean rushes over to the fallen Diaper Boy.
No! You look like you're made of pegboard!
Pegboard of course for those who don't know is that type of board with a bunch of holes all over it so you can stick CJ Sharpe's tiny dick in any of the holes. Pegboard.
Diaper Boy starts to convulse as blood squirts out of every single hole! All five million of them! Each hole is spraying blood as strong as a fire hose would spray water. Dean gets his umbrella and tosses some umbrellas to Frodo and Pringle Boi, The Father of Titles, etc, etc, etc, etc, etc, and I think you get it.
The bois are safe from the rain of blood but the killer computers are not. They get soaked and start to spark and smoke. The main computer with the giant robodick (wait what? when did that happen? just go with it bro. Ok fine.) starts to..........EJACULATE! It cums so hard that all of its wires and circuits shoot out of itself and it's left an emptier shell than Chameleon's promos.
(dayumn! that's empty as fuck!)
Blood.
Cum.
Wires.
Circuits.
Naked little boys and girls.
Blood.
Cum.
Wires.
Circuits.
Naked little boys and girls.
Blood.
Cum.
Wires.
Circuits.
Naked little boys and girls.
.......................................Waves!
Waves across the screen. Waves through your mind. It's almost as wavey as when Calypso performs his magic tricks and then, it happens.
Dean?
Those pink words float through the air but we're not sure if they're the words of Pringle Boi 187 or Diaper Boy 696969. Dean springs awake, covered in wetness and breathing heavily. He realizes Diaper Boy is sitting on top of him without his diaper on and breathes a sigh of relief. Dean looks around. All the computers are normal and all have porn on them. His wiener is firmly planted exactly where it should be but we won't say where because that's a little bit gross. Diaper Boy continues to bounce up and down on Dean who is naked.
You looked like you were having a nightmare.
Oh god that feels good! Yes I was having a nightmare but baby it was all worth it now because now I know those horrible people were all just in my dreams. Thank god there is no real CJ Sharpe, Chameleon, Anthony Steele or Fontanna. Oh and I guess it's good the computers didn't try to take over the world and kill you, too. Yay for bonuses.
Dean smiles as his teeth sparkle and we hear a "ding" as a circle of blackness closes out the scene. What's going to happen when Dean realizes those horrible people he just mentioned DO exist?
Wait, a message pops up on his computer as the scene opens back up!
Oh. My. Gawker. Gawd.
They've made a virus that makes as little sense and contracocks itself as much as Dope Show promos.
We're fucked! Run for your lives!
Porky Pig appears on screen, naked, with his wiener firmly pressed into what some may recognize as CJ Sharpe's asshole. Yes, that's what Sharpe looks like without his gay mask.
![[Image: mc9B07j.jpg]](http://i.imgur.com/mc9B07j.jpg)
Th-th-th-tha-tha-tha-that's all, folks!!!!!!!!!!!!!