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+--- Thread: Ghost Stank 2: Being cute isn't scary (/showthread.php?tid=19886)
Ghost Stank 2: Being cute isn't scary - Hero Xtreme 7.9 - 05-03-2015
NOCMM: Mr. Tank, I only get away with short promos because mine are so good and I do two of them. You sir don't have that luxury. Your promos are shitty that their quality does nothing to to help their lack of quantity. Instead of plagiarizing my promo style you should find one that actually works for you, rookie.
NOCMM laughs and sips some water. Even though he's invisible an aura of toughness and creepiness drips off of him just from the calculated way he drinks water so perfectly. You can tell that this manager is so much tougher than Ghost Tank, and he doesn't even wrestle, so that means Ghost Tank must be a total wimp.
NOCMM: Let's roll a shitty clip from his promo.
Quote: Now, I don't know who you are, because I simply don't care to know. After this, I still won't care. I don't care what kind of accolades your client has. Want to know what I care about? The only things, aside from The Higher Power, that I've cared about have been: the X-Treme belt and causing pain. I catalog who I've fought, so I can go back and watch the matches and try to learn about my opponents, and if I lose, that's fine.
NOCMM: You see what he says here is pretty cute actually. He thinks I care if he cares about things I say or about my client. What he seems to forget is that a rookie's opinion is worthless to anyone with a brain. A person who makes shitty and bland promos like he does has no bearing on my anyone's at all. He's not interesting enough to change how a person thinks. I on the other hand change the minds of thousands of people every time I open my invisible mouth. No one cares if he cares, but all the old skool fans listen intently to what I have to say.
NOCMM sighs at how poorly the promo presented Ghost Tank. Ghost Tank isn't supposed to be cute. He's supposed to be spooky like a ghost. However he's so damn naive in this clip from the promo that it's impossible to find his child-like self-importance anything but cute.
NOCMM: The Higher Power is something he cares about too. What a
. I guess he didn't realize that this "Higher Power" is a saying that refers to God, or his ring name, Hero Xtreme 7.9. So he's saying that he cares about my client and doesn't in the same breath. Ghost Tank? More like GHOST CHILD. Only a child would be stupid enough to contradict themselves like that. Stay away from ThunderBolt X, kid. He'd rape you. It wouldn't matter how many tapes you study. NOCMM takes another sip of water and the greatness radiates off of him again. Every time he sips water is a moment of perfect syzygy. The next clip rolls as he takes the remarkable sip.
Quote:The large man exhaled out his nostrils, causing a snort as if the Greek mythological creature, the Minotaur, a half-man/half-beast, exhaled,
NOCMM: The transcript version of Ghost Tank's promo is pretentious as shit too. The narrator seems to think this Minotaur creature is something so unique that he actually has to explain what a Minotaur is. Did he assume everyone who read the transcript was a
? Deaf people aren't , you ableist. You don't need to explain what a minotaur is Lord of The Rings already fucking did that. Those movies and books weren't exactly flops you stupid fuck. Assuming deaf people know nothing about mythology should be outlawed, or at the very least avoided since all it does is make you look like an ass.NOCMM sighs, comparing him to a minotaur just made him seem more cute too. Even though NOCMM enjoyed killing animals he still found them adorable and cuddly.
NOCMM: Then we have the dumbest part of the promo. Ghost Tank deserves a participation medal for this piece of shit, but that's about it.
Quote:Hero Xtreme Seven Point Nine, I don't know why you can't talk, maybe it's because you are a mute, maybe you're simply mentally
NOCMM: Ghost Tank, he doesn't talk to rookies,
. God doesn't like to waste his time he's too busy ending old people's lives and judging them to see if they go to heaven or hell. He doesn't have time to make promos about little pieces of shit like you. He even used his God powers to make it so their words can't be heard by him unless they pay for that right. Insinuating that he's choosing not to or that he is doing it for other reason than the one I just stated is just you being an ableist like your bigot of a narrator. Bigots aren't intimidating or frightening. Their blind hatred for people, or in your case Gods, just makes them seem uneducated. Uneducated adults may as well be children. NOCMM breathes. His breath could make a lesbian wet. He then posed a question.
NOCMM: Why do you act so cute and naive when you're supposed to be scary? Big scarey faces only scare children like yourself. If you want to instill fear into your opponents with your promos then you're going to have to try harder than that you stupid
.NOCMM shakes his head.
NOCMM: And no, my client won't be trying his hardest or Wednesday nor will he be focusing on anyone in particular. There is no such thing as trying when it comes to my client. He either picks to win or picks to lose. He could snap his fingers and make both of his opponents' heads explode if he wanted to. Nothing he does takes effort and besides if he just killed his opponents no one would want to wrestle here anymore and God would get bored again. My client is going to put on a show like he always does whether his opponents are content with that or not it doesn't matter.
NOCMM laughs again.
NOCMM: If my client chooses to lose it's his will. His decisions are what make the world turn and spin. This is just an inconsequential wrestling match to him. One of you may get to be a main eventer, but that's all this match will change. Once the match is over it will still be Hero Xtreme 7.9 who remains God. Regardless of if you have a lame new finisher or not.
Instead of tilting the cup towards his mouth, NOCMM sticks a straw into it and drinks it through the straw as the scene fades to an Xtreme shade of black.