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+--- Thread: Sebastian Duke Is A Pussy (/showthread.php?tid=19529)
Sebastian Duke Is A Pussy - Hero Xtreme 7.9 - 04-08-2015
Hero Xtreme 7.9: I didn't realize this was a fucking tea party. I'm out of here.
Hero Xtreme 7.9 flips over the table and breaks a bunch of tea cups. God storms out of the room leaving it in DISARRAY. Sebastian Duke's biggest fan starts crying and cuddling with a teddy bear. Once God gets somewhere quiet he continues his promo.
Hero Xtreme 7.9: I got a prayer from some stupid little bitch this morning saying I was invited to a party and we were going to chat about my wrestling match. She said she was Sebastian Duke's biggest fan and it was going to be off the chain hook. Well the cunt was wrong. It wasn't a party! It was just this little bitch and her little tea pot with a handle and a spout.
Hero Xtreme 7.9 uses his God powers and magics a sandwich into his hands. He eats the sandwich.
Hero Xtreme 7.9: That's not a party. That's the type of shit that happens at book clubs, fuck that, I'm God. Is this how all your fanatics act, chumpion Duke? Are your fans all stupid little girls who pray to God and pretend they're throwing a party then when you show up it's just a shitty tea party?
Hero Xtreme 7.9 magics the little girl's teddy bear onto the ground in front of him and punts it into a burning building. Then he eats some kale chips.
Hero Xtreme 7.9: Probably. That explains why you didn't put the belt on the line. If my fans all had vaginas and ovulated all the time I'd be afraid of losing my title belt to a real man too. We aren't having a tea party on Wednesday, chump. We're having a CLUSTER FUCK IN A CELL MATCH. That's not a tea party it's a war. If it was a tea party you'd have a chance of winning.
Hero Xtreme 7.9 uses his God powers and magics himself into a STEEL CELL. Then he pulls out his phone and takes a CELL-FIE as the scene fades to an Xtreme shade of black.