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+--- Thread: Easy Match, Easy Life (/showthread.php?tid=17780)
Easy Match, Easy Life - Maverick - 01-05-2015
OOC: Ditching the normal bold time/location etc., for the sake of one RP. Just formulating if I should be using the time/location thing as a permanent thing or not.
"So now, Mister Solomon, after an unsuccessful run at the Gold Rush Mini Pay- Per- View last week, I just have to wonder, and I'm sure your fans are wondering this as well... what now?"
A follow- up interview, if that's what your trying to piece together. This is just the first question of a follow- up interview with Steve Sayors. He and I agreed to have a sit- down interview each week to discuss my upcoming match. Unless, of course, if certain issues came up, then it would be suspended for one week's time. These were normally fifteen to twenty- five minutes, nothing too major.
"Well, Steven, you bring up a good point- I was unsuccessful at Gold Rush, even being the one getting pinned. I will concede this one to Doctor D'ville. A masterful wrestler, and I hope, when this whole business with Un is over, I can face Doctor D'ville in a straight up, one- on- one match, and get the win, a win which will not be ignored."
"Ah, taking the loss well, I see. Now, for this week, you team with John Black, Ruben A. Mitchell, and Turd Lopez to take on the team of Jaws, Mastermind, Duncan B. Deadly, and Bobby Zi. Now, let's take this one at a time. What are your thoughts on--"
"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHA- OH MY GOD, THAT'S HILARIOUS! Joke of the year right there, Steven! Who else do I have on my team, Frodo? And they got Grayson Stinger on their team?"
As I was cracking up, Sayors rolled his eyes and cleared his throat.
"Okay, sorry about that. I'm being serious now. Though, it's hard to do that when you have to face four of the biggest dumbasses to ever step foot in the ring. You have Bobby Zi who doesn't speak English, Duncan B. Deadly who also doesn't speak English AND patched up his own wound when he should have went to see the medical staff, Mastermind who despite actually being on a decent win streak, crashed and burned. Now yes, I admit, I may not be in the best of shape with my record, I didn't lose my matches by losing to a guy who hadn't competed in a match yet, or has barely competed in a match, such as Ruben A. Mitchell, who is ironically my tag partner, and Ethan Donovan. We also got Jaws, who, actually has some decent in- ring skills. I'm even going to show a shred of respect to Jaws and say that the other team will now hereafter be called Team Jaws, thus making Jaws the team captain in my book. However, Jaws could be so much better right now- if he picked a better mentor."
"Oh? You're saying Azreal is not a suitable mentor for Jaws? Didn't Azreal defeat you, on the last Warfare before the Thanksgiving Madness?"
I shook my head before answering. "No, no, no. You're mistaking me for Un. An understandable mistake, as Un was sporting the form of my body for God knows how long, but I have yet to face Azreal. And yes, I do believe Azreal is an unsuitable mentor for Jaws. Now, how I'm going to be mainly doing my trash talk here with Jaws and Bobby Zi here is that they haven't responded to what I have said to them during the time of Tag Team Tenacity. So, why should I waste perfectly good trash talk on these two clowns? So, I'll just be pulling up my old trash talk from my Tag Team Tenacity promo."
"Now, where were we? Ah, yes, why Azreal is an unsuitable mentor for Jaws."
Quote:"Stepping right up here, we have Azreal Erebus and Jaws. Azreal, I don't know much about you, only you threw away the Main Event of War Games, getting pinned by a rookie, Justin Sane. Your excuse? 'I let it happen.' Well now, I see the extent of this mentorship here. By refusing to cut a promo here, you are showing Jaws what it means to be a lazy has- been, and then cover up your losses with lazy, bullshit excuses. Real suave there, Spaceman."
"Are you seeing where I'm getting at, Steven? It's like Jaws is the Dolph Ziggler of the XWF. So much untapped potential, but he muddles it up by lying about how he's an alien, and his horrible choices for mentors."
"Wait, lying about how he's an alien? Care to explain that to us?"
"Well, with that, comes footage piece number two."
Quote:"As for you, Jaws, you're a stupid goddamn idiot. Seriously. You're even more delusional than Knight, thinking you are a shark, even though you're wearing a shark costume. Nice job there. Nothing shows intimidation quite like a costume. Everyone, I think we should just take the example set by this delusional fuckface, and start wearing animal costumes. I'll be a Cocker Spaniel, and Duncan can be a Poodle!"
"Jaws can't even refute this one. Either he's lying about the costume, his race, or he's a delusional twat who likes switching between the two. If you want some official proof, I'm going to have to show you two pieces of footage here. First one being Jaws claiming he's an alien, second one being what he put as his ring attire for the roster application page."
Quote:Now, Turd Lopez so frustratingly wants attention that he claims that he raped and beheaded our mothers. He seemed to forget I'm an alien in a sea in space. Now, space is pretty dangerous, especially if it's between your ears. However, I don't believe you even know where I was born or what planet it was on, so you are most likely bullshitting.
Quote:Weight: Unknown, but is pretty heavy in the shark suit.
...
Ring Attire: A full, realistic looking shark costume, complete with tail.
"You say in my promos, Jaws, I come across as extremely stupid? Holy shit, look at the pot calling the fucking kettle black. You say I'm stupid, yet I just proved you as a liar by revealing that despite your claims, you're not an alien. Now Steven, I must confess something."
"Erm, yes, Mister Solomon?"
"Jaws, he says he's gonna end my career, that he's gonna end my life, but, I'm gonna be brutally honest here- Jaws is such a fucking dumbass I'd be more worried if he was planning on ending the life of one of my teammates."
"Well, as I'm sure you well know, you have three more opponents to worry about."
"Ah, yes."
"So, what are your thoughts on... Mastermind?"
"What about Mastermind? Dude hardly said shit for his Television title match. Yes, I am well aware I hardly said anything for my X-treme match, though I at least cut a solid interview with you. Mastermind, on the other hand? He got interviewed by some news reporter, who, surprise, surprise, is also named Mastermind. Dude hasn't said anything thus far, so I'm gonna ignore him for now. If he actually says something, then I'll consider putitng in the time and effort to acknowledge him. But right now? Not so much."
"Alright, that seems fair. What about Bobby Zi?"
"Well, Steven, this is just like Jaws here. The trash talk I cut on him for Tag Team Tenacity speaks for itself."
Quote:"Bobby goddamn Zi, two time X-treme Champion, and quite possibly the worst X-treme Champion known. Now, you see Bobby, you lost the X-treme Championship to me. Now normally, this wouldn't be so bad, only you dropped the belt to somebody who hasn't even wrestled a goddamn match. That is quite simply pathetic. I don't need to prove myself to you."
"See what I mean? The fucker hasn't even acknowledged me in this match, so I don't know why I'm extending the honor to him."
"Well, besides Mastermind, Bobby Zi, and Jaws, the final member of what you have donned, 'Team Jaws,' is--"
"Duncan B. Deadly, blah blah blah, what are your thoughts on him, blah blah." I gave a light- heartened chuckle while Steve rolled his eyes. "Seriously though. I can't even say much about the guy. What I've said about him in previous promos, is pretty much all I can say about him. He's too much of an illiterate fucktard to even make fun of. The only thing I'll give him props for is managing to hit that Eye in the Tsunami or whatever the fuck he calls that move on me. But all he managed to do is light a fire under me. All he ensured is Team Jaws' demise on Warfare. And ashes, fucking really? How'd the fuck did he get ashes? No reason he'd go to a cremation place; patched up his own wound, why would he go there? And I didn't see an oven the people who do the cremations use. I mean, was he trying to get rid of his Grandpa's ashes since he always jerks off to them? I don't fucking know, this guy is too illiterate to make some sense out of. The Grandpa's ashes joke was decent, but probably all I could muster on this guy at the moment."
"Well, in addition to those opponents who will be across the ring from you, you also have to coincide with Ruben A. Mitchell, John Black, and Turd Lopez. And, not to insult or anything, but you do have quite an inflated ego. Can you share the spotlight with them?"
I gave a dark chuckle before answering this question. "Let me ask you, Steven, have you read the predictions for this week's Warfare?"
"Erm, no, I can't say that I have. Why?"
"Well, look what the people who voted for this team- who was pretty much everyone, by the way- had to say about this team."
Quote:Mav and Crew
Quote:Team Maverick
"Well, that's what the people- they being TJ Wallace and Peter Gilmour. Not the best of people, I know, but it's a start- who broadcasted their opinions said instead of highlighting who they thought would win on the event card. But still, if we are going by their words, I am the Team Captain here. I will, obviously, lead my teammates to victory. Can I share the spotlight? Yeah. But am I going to be taking up a pretty big chunk of it? You bet your ass."
"Well, that's all the time we have for today. Maverick, any closing words?"
"Jaws is a fucking hypocrite for calling me a liar, even though he's a liar."