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+--- Thread: The Schrute Special (/showthread.php?tid=17108)
The Schrute Special - Dwight Schrute - 12-02-2014
Camera fades in on Dwight Schrute who is currently enjoying a German lager in his front porch on his abandoned farmhouse. He takes a heavy breath before speaking.
Ah, Schrute Farms, a place where the Schrute family relaxed and grew crops for generations. It's too bad I abandoned this place in 2012 to focus on my wrestling career. I really saw my farm becoming a hot spot for newlyweds to spend their honeymoon at in one of our luxury suites. Here, let me take you on a tour on what used to be Schrute Farms. I'll call it "The Schrute Special".
Dwight leads the camera into what appears to be the remains of the lounging area. A ripped up old couch lies in the corner while the floor and ceiling are coming apart.
Yep, this used to be the lounging area where our guests used to relax and such. One time, I played a prank on the guests and told there was a man-eating bear in one of the rooms. They got so scared that they ran off the property. I don't why they took the prank so seriously. Don't they know that grizzly bears don't live out in corn fields. Anyway, let's get on with the rest of the tour.
They walk into the remains of the kitchen where the sink is torn up and the cabinets are ripped out of their sockets.
The kitchen. Where all of our guests enjoyed the most delicious breakfast in all of Scranton. These cabinets used to hold special German fruits that were quite tasty. That old, empty fridge used to store the goat meat and the chopped lamb and the squirrel soup for supper time. Those were the finest specials at Schrute Farms.
A hiss is heard in one of the cabinet spaces.
Looks like an intruder has broken in. As a specialist in animal catching, I know to keep calm and steady during these types of situations.
Dwight starts to walk toward where the hiss came from. He peeks through the empty space and sees a full grown male raccoon.
Oh, it's just a dumb raccoon. One of nature's weakest animals. You know, raccoons really.....
The raccoon starts to attack Dwight's face. Dwight starts screaming.
AHHHHHH! GET IT OFF ME! HOW COULD THESE CREATURES BE SO VIOLENT!? TURN THE CAMERA OFF!
The camera cuts to black abruptly and a loud thump is heard followed by many gun shots.