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+--- Thread: They're all misfires (/showthread.php?tid=14294)
They're all misfires - Mia Dim - 08-13-2014
When we last saw John Madison, he was stuffed in Peter's trunk like a piece of baggage, and taken to LAX. Now, as far as LAX, we should probably reflect on that right? Well, we all know, Peter Gilmour doesn't mix well with airports. Could it be that Peter has a fear of flying? Though the Hollywood Bad Boy has gone on record to say that he fears no man, he's never mentioned whether he fears no airplane.
Anyway, LAX went down as you would expect with Peter Gilmour.
*A group of guys came over and fondled Maria Brink's tits.
*Peter Gilmour attacked them "sadistically" with a metal object.
*Peter made out with Maria.
*And as always, security was late in showing up. Wait a minute, did I just say they were "late?" Pfff, clearly, The Hollywood Bad Boy has developed a reputation across all airports that leaves even the most well-trained security team trembling in their boots. That security ducked Peter Gilmour!
The flight itself, we won't get into. Again, it was more tit grabbing and ball shredding. Oh, and Dimallisher made a scene when they gave him a seat that was next to a black guy.
So after going through all of that mess, John Madison was finally allowed to get away. If he's gonna be trapped on an island with these two morons, he might as well relocate to the opposite end. So he grabbed the first rental car that he could-- literally-- he just took some random guy's rental car and threw him out of it. And he drove straight until he found a beach that he could hit up.
The beach was a thing of beauty, like something you'd see in a TV advertisement. Foamy water washing the shore, sexy palm trees hanging overhead, and John Madison laying naked on the sand.
Of course, all the ladies around him are getting wet in their panties- because they see Peter Gilmour a couple yards behind him doing cardio in a speedo, with his cock muscles bulging out. John soaks in all the attention that he thinks these ladies are directing at him.
"Finally, some peace and quiet. I got the beach under my bare ass, and the ladies are checking out the package. This is exactly what I needed after a week of pure hell, dealing with Peter and Dimallisher. I just needed an hour or two to relax my head and to erase my memory of that fucking In This Moment song that Peter insisted on playing over and over and OVER."
John reaches into his asshole and pulls out a pack of cigarettes.
"I can think clearly now. Had we gone to some other venue, I probably would not have had this kind of tranquility. I'd be stuck in some disgusting bar with Dimallisher and Peter Gilmour talking to me. This must be management's way of rewarding me for all the effort I put into making a team like that work; for accomplishing what most would see as impossible, "The Peter Gilmour Challenge.'"
"I believe I'm on day 53 of my Peter Gilmour reign, and tonight I'll be moving on to day 54.
"I'll be honest with you guys-- no-- You know what? I shouldn't even have to preface my statements like that because I've been nothing but honest with you since the beginning. But I must confess that I did not devote much time into watching the promos that poured in from the opposing team.
"'But John?' You ask... You are the manager of Team Special, you should know what the opponents are up to.
"Well ladies and gentlemen, allow me to present to you the opponents:
First up to the plate, Mr. WGWTroll himself. Let's hear what he has to say."
Quote: Peter Gilmour single handedly drove the WG WF scourge from the halls of the XWF, he kept them at bay, and ended their hopes of becoming Shane's new boss. Is this not the way the world remembers it?
No, you see kids at home, Peter Gilmour actually tried to wrestle under CCP in the WG WF.
"Does everyone see the mistake that our new friend Mr. WGW F has made?
"Don't worry, Mr. WGW F, I'm not going to call you out on a WGW F History error. You did a swell job of researching what those guys are all about. Give yourself a hand!
"No sir, I'm beyond that. You see, the error in your ways is that you neglect to ignore the past and you focus too much on the present.
"Did Peter act like an idiot three years ago? Of course he did.
"My goodness, people. Have you lost so much originality when it comes to insulting Peter Gilmour that you have to dig into the past now? Are we namedropping CCP in our promos now in order to garner attention for ourselves? I guess because Mr. WGW F knows that in this day and age, even wearing three dildos on his face isn't enough to attract the attention that he desperately wants from us.
"Well, Mr. WGW F, thank you for trying, but tonight, knowing what Peter did with WGW F is not going to improve your chances any.
"That's not fair though. I should bring up how Mr. WGW F did bring up current events."
Quote:I mean, you're so honorable you decided to ignore the rights earned by Liz Hathaway and Mark Flynn because they're not worthy. That is the epitome of Honor, is it not?
"But I'm afraid that it's all the same series of statements that we've heard before. And I'm sure Peter Gilmour's response would be something along the lines of 'SHUT UP
!' And that's exactly what I want."I wanted typical, vintage Peter Gilmour this week, and that's what I got. He's mad, he's spitting all over himself, and he's ready to go in there and 'kill' people. That's the Peter that I want you guys to deliver to me. I wouldn't even know what to do with any other type of Peter. Could someone in management please allow either Mr. WGW F or Frodo Smackins to compete in the next tag team match? I've been hearing names like Liz Hathaway, and I'm not sure if that will be enough to bring out the bull that I need. Again, I say, thank you, Mr. WGW F for existing for the sole purpose of making my job easier.
"And then we have Mark 'No Win' Flynn with his losing streak and briefcases. I'm not gonna touch on the losing streak, that's Peter's job. I'm sure he already spent a good chunk of time with doing the 'Has-been Flynn' shtick.
"What I want to hit on is the fact that Mark Flynn seems to be out of the loop as far as who controls Peter Gilmour's illustrious career. Mark Flynn seems to think that Peter Gilmour is in control."
Quote:”Peter…”
“Just… Just want to check with you really quick. Are you sure you want to compete this coming Wednesday? Are you sure you don’t want to try calling in sick? Maybe surrendering those belts and taking some time off?”
“Because you don’t seem well. You're not all there...”
"Oh, Mark.
"No, no, no...
"Heh... Mark, I had to be the bearer of bad news, but Peter Gilmour has no say in the matter of him showing up to defend the Tag Team Titles. I spoke metaphorically in my previous promo about how Peter Gilmour is kinda like a handicap kid in a wheel chair. Well that also applies in this case, because even if Peter couldn't walk, I would roll/drag him out to the ring and force him to remain victorious. Like I said before, I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure that Peter Gilmour stands tall at the end of the match.
"I would love to dig up more quotes from our hero Mark Flynn, but I'm afraid with him it's the same case as with Mr. WGW F. Here's basically a quick run down of what Mark has to say to Gilmour:
"'Peter's opening his mouth without thinking again.'
'Peter's cursing like a child and causing all this unnecessary violence.'
'Peter shoved a spiked dildo down my throat.'
'Peter challenged an 8 year old boy to a death match.'
"Wait, did he actually go through with that last one? Oh my God, if so, someone better make that happen! Vintage Gilmour there.
"Moving on from all that, Mark Flynn goes onto repeat the same mistake he made earlier:"
Quote:“I agree, Pete. Dim won’t be your downfall. Your illogical streaming paranoia. Your inability to differentiate the real world from this terrifyingly deep fantasy you seem to have crafted… That’s where you’re going to fail…”
"Once again, sorry Mark, but the fate of this match is not up to Peter Gilmour nor The Dimallisher. And of course, just like I predicted, Mark Flynn touches on the past:"
Quote:“WGWF? The company you were ALSO a joke in?”
"Again, kudos to you and your partner for acing your knowledge of Gilmour history.
"The both of you did a great job in pointing out how big of an idiot and a fuck up, historically, Peter Gilmour is. I'm sure that if the entire locker room and staff sat in a circle, we could all go around and each bring up a point in history where Peter Gilmour was idiotic.
"But the two of you fail to recognize the reason behind Peter Gilmour's title reign in the first place. It's not because Peter learned from his mistakes in the past and smartened up. No, he's the same old Peter.
"And yes, Mark did finally come around to devoting an entire promo to me. And he brought up some valid points about how he's beaten me in the past.
"Yes, Mark has pinned, maybe even tapped me out, on several occasions. But I'm not going to be the one in the ring on Wednesday night, Mark. And I'll admit right now that if I did step in the ring with you, you'd probably tear me apart, limb from limb.
"But Mark, it's a completely different ball game now. You see, I've taken off the wrestling boots and now I lace up a suit and tie. I claim victories not by wrestling 32 men in a super gauntlet, but by managing even the most useless sacks of flesh to the top.
"It's like I've found my calling, Mark.
"I mean, yeah, I was OK in the ring as a competitor.
"But as a ringside manager to the talent-- I'm having so much more fun, man. Because I really PUSH people, even lazy sacks of shit like Peter Gilmour.
"Go ahead, Mark. Pull me into the ring, twist me up into a bunch of little knots, and make me scream. I'll tap out, sure. Won't bring you much, though, seeing as how I'm not the guy you need to pin/submit. Now try that same tactic on the all-star special olympics team that I'm managing. Try it on Dimmy and Gilly while I am in their corner. They won't tap because I control them from my ringside fortress.
"Nice try anyway, Mark. Enjoy the view from the bottom of Peter's boot."
Peter Gilmour runs up to Madison, throws him over his shoulder, and runs off the beach with him.