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+--- Thread: Introduction feedback (/showthread.php?tid=14013)
Introduction feedback - Gabriel Adams - 08-01-2014
Just wanted some feedback on my little introduction. I know it's a bit speech based, but didn't really know what else to do in terms of action for this one.
More just wanted some feedback on the general tone of the character. Not really sure where its going just yet.
Introduction feedback - Alex Richards - 08-01-2014
Don't worry the first rp you write is always the hardest. But I thought it was a good way to introduce your character.
Introduction feedback - AaronReign - 08-02-2014
As far as this being speech based, I say that's not an issue at all. Wrestling promos are about speech, not about storytelling, though from that post I'd say you're pretty great at that as well. I'm definitely intrigued by your character, that's for sure. I almost feel like I can relate to him to be honest, being a southerner and all, and the "fall from grace" he had as a character is done in a human way. As opposed to some of the characters I've seen in e-feds, this one is one of the most real. He kind of has a gimmick, but at the same time, he doesn't. I like that, I like it a lot. From the overall picture to the little nuances like your dedication to typing in a southern accent, you're doing great.
I hope to see more from you man, for right now you're off to a 7/10 start in my opinion.
Introduction feedback - Gabriel Adams - 08-02-2014
Thanks for the positive comments! Didn't want an over the top gimmick. I always find I try too much and then the character gets repetitive and I get bored. Thought I'd try and keep it pretty straight forward.