A Cuban guy and a Ukrainian guy walk into an airport.. - Printable Version +- X-treme Wrestling Federation (https://xwf99.com) +-- Forum: Warfare Boards (https://xwf99.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=6) +--- Forum: Warfare RP Board (https://xwf99.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=12) +--- Thread: A Cuban guy and a Ukrainian guy walk into an airport.. (/showthread.php?tid=13970)

A Cuban guy and a Ukrainian guy walk into an airport.. - Ricky Maine - 07-30-2014 Mexico City, Mexico - July 28th 2014 After a short flight from Havana, Ricky Maine arrives in Mexico City with his long time friend/manager/cool guy, the seven foot tall Ukrainian; Kaiser. Kaiser: "Damn Rick why do you insist on flying with the poor people?" Ricky Maine: "Bro, it's a flight from Cuba, did you expect business class or something?" Kaiser: "Yeah, well, yeah." The two friends are approached by a small contingent of Mexican fans waving note books and merchandise for the two pro wrestlers to sign. Kaiser: "See there you go again, signing autographs for people who think your some luchadore or something." Ricky Maine: "Lighten up big man, why are you so uptight?" Kaiser: "Eh? I dunno, might have to pay Frodo a visit when we get to New York, get some mariju- err medicine." Ricky Maine: "Please yourself comrade, just get in before I do because there won't be much left of him after I'm done." Again the two men are approached, this time by some pencil neck geek who writes a wrestling blog for a living. Pencil Neck Geek: "Ricky Maine, O..M..G, and Kaiser?! Wow can I have five minutes of your time?" Kaiser: "Sure little girl." Pencil Neck Geek: "Um, I'm a dude, dude." Kaiser: "Wow really? O..M..G, I thought you were the leader of the Justin Beiber fan club." Pencil Neck Geek: "Well, I am.. uh, anyway let me get on with the interview. Ricky Maine, Frodo has just finished trash talking you again, your response?" Ricky Maine: "What did he say? Cuban flights don't have wifi." Pencil Neck Geek: "He said, well, it was pretty much the same thing." Ricky Maine: "Of course it was, it's Frodo Smackins we're talking about here, he barely graduated kindergarten. So let me get this straight, Frodo cuts what he calls a promo, and just rinse and repeats the same clap-trap from his first interview? Maybe he's busy with his wedding? maybe he's just a few pennies short of a dollar? maybe- well it doesn't matter what his excuse is, he's facing Ricky F'n Maine not some ten cent flea market jobber like Lateri. He's going to have to pull his head out of his arse if he wants to lace my boots. I'm the best damn WRESTLER in the world and after Frodo falls like the Tsar he won't be able to deny it." Pencil Neck Geek: "Frodo also asked why you live in Cuba, when Puerto Rico is essentially the same country, with much easier access to the continental US. Then he said something about Cuba, the Castro brothers, hating yankees, your response?" Ricky Maine: "Typical, more bullshit about Cuba. Since when did either Castro hate Americans? Cuba was the first country to offer man power after hurricane Katrina, they were one of the first to send their condolences after 9-11. Fox News went on a tirade against Common because he visited the island. My point is, everything Frodo thinks he knows about Cuba is wrong, he reads from the same book as G.W." Pencil Neck Geek: "Politics aside Ricky, what is your game plan going into the fight?" Ricky Maine: "You know I never thought about it, this is my first match in over a year and I'm just going to roll with it. I've pumped some iron, done the miles, punched some bags but really I don't have a game plan, I just plan to go out there and wrestle, that's more than enough to beat the crack addicted Frodo Smackins." Pencil Neck Geek: "Any final words for Frodo?" Ricky Maine: "Frodo, I know you've got a lot going on, I know your mind is elsewhere, but you need to focus on the task at hand. I'm not your ordinary rookie, I've been there, done that. I not some Johnny-come-lately punk you can push around with insults. You can go on and on and on about what you're going to do to come Wednesday, but you can't go on and on and on about it with a straight face. You've emailed me threatening me with your friends, your penis, other peoples penises, the last gasp effort of a man, shaking in his boots. You know, you told me you specialize in beating people up... and kicking wallabies. Since I'm such a nice guy, I've sent some wallabies to your hotel, I mean, since this week you ain't gonna be beating anyone up." The pencil neck geek ends his interview and lets the dynamic duo wait for their next flight. Kaiser: "Da faq?" Ricky Maine: "Seriously bro, what happened to you? you used to be a people person." Kaiser: "Not really, pretty sure I've always been a money person. You used to be, da faq happened? Why are being all nice?" Ricky Maine: "I'm a face, you know, the guy the crowd cheers for?" Kaiser: "Ah fuck not that shit again, you know you're much better off being yourself, a holier than thou heel." Ricky Maine: "Yeah I know but I wanted to challenge myself, I mean it's pretty obvious the talent in XWF isn't going to do it." Kaiser: "OUCH! see what I mean? much better as the holier than thou asshole.." Ricky Maine: "Shut up man, you just want me to go heel so you and Killer get a job.. Trust me comrade, you will be called upon soon enough." Kaiser: "Yeah, then I can pay my militia in the Donbas." Scene end Not without a shameless plug by Kaiser!