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Facts and Figures - Mastermind - 07-29-2014
The camera fades in to the mansion of Mastermind. Once again he is seen sitting in his chair, and he was facing the wall.
"Fact #1: On Wednesday Night Warfare I go up against Mark Flynn for the Extreme Championship.
"Fact #2: It's inside a Steel Cage, and the only way to win is by escaping is by through the door.
"Fact #3: My comments about opening 'salvos' made Flynn go ballistic so to speak, and so we wound up seeing how anger management he is. Our Extreme Champion is starting to feel the pressure. Our Extreme Champion is starting to feel built up frustration of being champion for far too long."
Mastermind turned his chair around to face the camera, and smiled.
"I'll be happy to take the belt off of you Flynny. Very happy."
Mastermind clicks his fingers, and the camera fades out. He clicks his fingers again, and the camera fades in to another room, this time with a television hanging on the wall. Mastermind is standing in front of it.
"Like I said the last time we heard from Mark Flynn, the Extreme Champion, he was looking rattled, and sounding very angry. If you bare with me, I would like to answer some statement's that he issued. And respond to them."
Mastermind pushed a button, and a tape played.
Quote:"You sure seem dead-set on this plan to take the X-Treme title belt from around my waist. And how can I stop you? Look at the brilliant series of calculated steps in your master plan to achieve your goal."
"Step 1. Try to pin me seven or eight times."
"Step 2. Challenge me to a fight on Warfare, three weeks from the moment of your challenge. So you can take the time to prepare silently and let me slip off my game..."
"Step 3. Try to pin me again, perhaps because you thought challenging me would make your sneak attack surprising, keeping me sharp and directly counteracting the previous phase in your plan..."
"Step 4. Try four more times after you've spoiled any element of surprise, guaranteeing it would be surprising. Once again working against the last part of your plan. Because WHAT IDIOT WOULD KEEP TRYING AFTER FUCKING UP AN AMBUSH AS MANY TIMES AS YOU HAVE!?!!?"
Mastermind paused the tape.
"To me Flynny the Extreme Title is a 24 Hour 7 Day a week proposition. Here's the thing. I want all these belts that the XWF have to offer, and so I have decided to go for them in the order of importance.
"Fact #4: I won the Ark of the Covenant Title at the Leap of Faith pay per view, and yes I know it was just a match where the title changed hands so many times, but to win the title makes you a champion, albeit briefly. So I was a Ark of the Covenant Champion. And yes I know it's a weak title. But a title is still a title.
"Fact #5: The rules state that you can challenge for the Extreme Title as many times as I want, and because the Extreme Title is what I want so badly, you can't blame me for trying. I don't blame myself for trying. So I'm sorry Flynny if that made you more angrier. It's just a factor of things."
Mastermind continued to play the tape.
Quote:"Step 5."
"Lose embarrassingly to Zoey Ryback in her debut match the week before your big X-Treme Title shot, re-establishing that element of surprise... In that after losing that match, now literally no one thinks you're going to win this match."
Mastermind paused the tape
"Let's get this one out of the way quickly. Fact #6: Yes I did lose to Zoey Ryback. Yes it was embarrassing and I'm probably going to be hearing it for weeks to come if not for months and years to come. But the fact is I did lose to her, I was focused on our upcoming match, and I should have done more to win. She just cost Frodo and I a chance at the Trios Titles. Anyway so there we have it. I did lose and it was embarrassing. Let's move on."
Mastermind played some more of the tape.
Quote:"Step 6. Call your weak-ass first promo an opening FUCKING SALVO. I feel like we don’t need to explore the motives behind this one."
Mastermind paused the tap again.
"This started your whole Anger Management rant. I'm not sorry that I said it, because Fact #7: It exposed you. It exposed your whole anger issues. What a doofus. Getting angry at a 5 letter word."
Mastermind played some more tape.
Quote:"Respect. You claim to respect me. And yet, through your words, I detect just how little respect you have for my abilities. For my accomplishments. That list of title reigns you pulled up off the internet I assume… Doesn’t seem to mean a damn thing to you."
Mastermind pauses again.
"Fact #8: You're an idiot. You've proven to be a great champion, and held so many titles, and yet you don't think I respect you. I mean how dumb are you if you are wanting respect. You must earn respect to be respected. Of course I respect you. You've held the title for what how many days?"
Mastermind smiles and plays the tape:
Quote:"You don't understand how I held onto this belt for 36 days.
Mastermind pauses again
"36 Days you say. You continue to say. I respect the way you have fought to keep that title. It must make you weary, it must be a heavy burden. No wonder it is making you angry. You've hardly slept. Well come Wednesday I'll take it off of you by walking out of the cage. Leaving you to sleep it off.
"Are we finished here? Were you finished after your opening 'salvo'. Na."
Mastermind laughs and plays some more tape.
Quote:“Do you think I got famous for my trash talk by writing shit puns and then yelling them over the course of a week? Masterbait? MasterCard? Mastercate? Sorry, are you so confident that that’s the kind of material I work with, that you thought calling that off-limits at the start would take away a decent chunk of my weaponry? Do you think scraping the bottom of the barrel is how I built my reputation of being the best there is?"
"I'm not going to beat you with puns, Massy. I’m not going to outdo you with wordplay…I'm going to EVISCERATE YOU... With the best weapon I have. The truth.”
“I’m going to massacre you with what I know to be true."
"And the truth, Massy? The thing I want to bring to your attention? Isn’t how close your name is to certain sexual acts one can perform by one’s self."
“It’s how fucking in-over-your-head you are going into this match. How clueless you seem, sputtering off your ‘bringing you’re A game’ and how ‘you’ll make sure I tap out.’”
"Let me let you in on a detail you seem unaware of, Massy."
"You're sub-Gilmour talent. Your 'A game' still doesn’t stack up against me on my worst week. I could be sporting a broken spine and you still couldn’t make me tap out."
“This isn't exaggeration, how disappointing you are on a consistent basis. This isn't hyperbole. It’s an observable phenomenon, Massy. It’s a scientific fact.”
Mastermind yawns and stops the tape.
"Jesus Christ Flynny, that was so much of a dribble of words it got boring really fast. You're delusional to think that all that made sense. From tapping to broken spines, to something about your worst week. My god just by using 'Salvo' opened up hell for you didn't it Flynny?
Mastermind played some more:
Quote:"Because when it comes down to it? To the nitty gritty? When the chips are down? You won’t. You don't have the talent."
"You don't have the skill."
"You're not second-rate."
"You're not even third-rate."
"You're the god damned lowest step on the ladder. Just above surface level. You can beat all the pathetic no ones who are too blinded by how terrible they are to even locate the ladder. But anyone who can start climbing the ladder…Sails right by you.”
"Wow that hurts, what a lot of insults. If you think throwing mud like that at me would make me wanna go home and cry then you're thicker than you look. You're a god dam joke Flynny. You've spent too long up in the clouds of the extreme championship that air has gotten way to thin for you. You're not even thinking straight. Wow let me give you a beat down Wednesday. Let me take that title, so you can come crashing back to earth."
Mastermind clicks his fingers, and the camera fades to darkness. When he clicks his fingers again, the camera fades back to him sitting in his chair.
"I think we've all heard enough. Last Fact Flynny boy. You're time as Extreme Champion is up on Wednesday night. I will be walking out of the cage as the new Extreme Champion. And you can finally sleep very well with the knowledge that you are no longer Extreme champion.
"For now goodbye Flynny. I hope your anger calms down soon."
Mastermind turns his chair around to face the wall and starts whistling.