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Mark Flynn's Revenge Episode #4: Spaceship Battles & Go-Karts - Printable Version

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Mark Flynn's Revenge Episode #4: Spaceship Battles & Go-Karts - MarkFlynn - 06-18-2014

Previously on Mark Flynn: Revenge

“Daddy…!”

“HEY. I HAVE NOT BEEN HANGING OUT WITH PETER GILMOUR, OKAY?”

“Hibiscus mint jam… YOU FUCKER!”

“I’ll tell you what your big weakness is.”

“Ayudame!”

”It’s your spinal column…

” “WHOA WHOAWHOAWHOA, DON'T PLEASE DON-“

“FUCK YOU!”

”He took out David…”

“FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU!”

"We ride…"

And now… the next chapter of Mark Flynn: Revenge
========

8:24 AM, 1000 E 41st Street, Austin, TX

H-E-B


A cough…

Crawling arms…

Stumbling…

…Kyle… Bleeding from the nose…

“…”

He drags himself… To a register… Aisle 8…

And shakily… steadily… pulls himself up to his feet…

He presses his hand against his nose to reduce the blood flow.

Head beating like a drum in agony…

Looking out at the chaos….

The hibiscus mint jam puddle has gelled and hardened into the floor…The soda-peanut butter mixture is has solidified into a new scientific element, a Frankenstein’s monster no creator could love.

Those… idiots… left the dry food dispensers going so the machines are all empty and the trail mix mountain is now forty feet tall…

“ARE ANY HEB EMPLOYEES STILL HERE?”

Silence…

“Sí señor!”

Kyle sighs.

“God damnit, Benito. I mean people I can talk to.”


“O… Lo siento, pero….”

Kyle rubs his temple woozily…

“Fine…Where are you, Benito… Uh… Dónde está el Benito?”


“Estoy debajo de las papas fritas… En el pasillo siete…”

“Can’t understand a word you’re saying, Benito. I’m going to figure out your thing after I figure out my thing… Just… sit tight… Wherever you are…”

Kyle stumbles along the floor…

Pushing his way past the register, using it as a crutch…

To get to the phone at the front…

He leans against the wall to stay stable… Steady…

His hand carefully pushes…

“Dial 9 for outside…”

“9…1…1…”

A customer slips through the automatic door… Looks around at the chaos and carnage… And shrugs…

The phone rings…

“Oh my head…”

The customer walks up to Kyle, bleeding from the nose… With a re-usable bag in her hand…

“Um, can you point me to the produce sec-“

“I’m on the phone.”

Kyle turns away from the customer…

“Hello, officer. I’d like to report an assault... And destruction of property…”
***
8:35 AM, 16231 North IH-35, Pflugerville, TX 78660

Austin’s Park-n-Pizza Experience


“So… no paintball?”


“No. We have laser tag though. But…. Uh…. Place doesn’t open for another 85 minutes so…”

“Ooof… Well, Guess I’ll have to manage. I’ll rent one laser semi-automatic fire-arm and one of your go-go driving-kart please.”

“…You really can’t check them out at the same time…”

“Also, the stuff is inside and the door is locked.”

“…Then, there’s that whole, the place doesn’t open for another… 85 minutes…”


“Can’t do two things at once huh? Can’t pat your head and rub your stomach at the same time…Is there some kind of one-day membership pricing plan I can look into… Some Gold Status Package that gives me 24-hour access and multi-pass use to your facilities?”

“…Look man. I don’t know if I’ve brought this up yet, but, tell you the truth the place doesn’t open until 10 AM… So. I’m going to unlock this door. And then go into this building. And then re-lock the door.”




Free-Win…

Continues to smile…

“I want you to know.”

“I really tried…”


The Austin Pizza-n-Park employee turns around from the front door, keys in the lock.

And finally looks into his customer’s eyes.

Perfectly black. Not a molecule of color.

Wielding a lead pipe…

“Now… Instead of a business transaction…”

“This just became a robbery…”
***

The kickstand locks on one of the Rascal scooters. Parking next to the only other vehicle on the lot…

A car2go....

The others follow suit. The team disembarks…

Footsteps... From the lot. Toward the main building...

The shortest, yet largest among the group, refusing to look away from his iPhone.

The dot he's been following got off the highway...

And has been traveling in a circle for half an hour now...

And now, they were upon him...

"Hey, Griff?"

Griff, the 5'2" dwarves built like Mr. Universe, doesn't bother looking up as he continues to march forward. Anton

"Yes, Anton."


"I thought you told me and Nadine that HEB rascal scooters are programmed to not work outside the store.”


"I lied."


"Oh... okay.”

“Okay? Really?”
Nadine tries to step up, but her larger than medically desirable frame makes it difficult to keep up… She ends up calling out to her group, pulling away from her at about half a meter per second.

"I feel like that lying to employees, putting secret trackers in our radio, being able to keep track of us with an iPhone app, kinda contributes to a hostile work environment."

Griff chooses not to dignify this comment with a glance away from his phone either.


"Then, it's a good thing that unless we catch this fucking asshole, you're all technically fired."

"Between the three of you, should be easy to find a new job. What with your collective people skills, stellar education background and the fact that not one of you has ever passed a drug test, you're sure to excel in this economic climate."


"...Fair point."

The HEB bounty hunters reach the front door.

Anton peers at the hours on the door...

"I don’t think they’re open yet... Hours say they open at 10. Should we come back?"

Griff laughs. And slips a meaty, veiny hand into his pocket...

And wrenches out a paper clip...

Jamming it into the lock.

Nadine's face contorts, betraying genuine amazement.

"Wow…I didn't know you could pick locks, Griff."

"I had to learn so I could pop open the employee lockers…”

"What?!?"

"You never know. Otherwise, you clowns might steal inventory."


“Okay, I know my job prospects are lousy but that’s fucked up…”

“No, what’s fucked up is how many pictures of children Phillip has in his locker.”

Both Nadine and Anton turn to Phillip… Questions in their eyes…

“They’re my siblings actually, I’m the oldest in a family of 18.”

“Huh…I didn’t know that.”

“YEAH, LEARNING STUFF ABOUT EACH OTHER! TEAM PLAYERS! LET’S CIRCLE UP AND EACH SAY ONE THING ABOUT EACH OTH-“

“Shut UP, Phillip.”

The door clicks open. And is pressed in...

All four HEB employees step inside… gingerly…

The lights are off, the entire activity center, usually bustling with life and families is empty…

Quiet as the grave…

Dark and shadowy…

Griff stays at the center of the configuration, eyes focused on his electronic map. His lifeline to his future prey…

"According to the map... We're right on top of him..."

Anton looks straight down…

“He’s in the floor?”

“SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!”

Anton freezes.

"DONT FUCKING MOVE. NO ONE FUCKING MOVE."

Griff sniffs in the air, savoring the scent of war...

Deep in enemy territory...

The most dangerous game.

"Like Charlie back in 'Nam...I know he's close... Spread out…"

“I can smell him… Hiding… The hunt… begins“


The HEB team slowly scatters, Nadine towards the front desk, Anton towards the light displayed through the window, Phillip excitedly scrambles to the bright lights of the arcade machines…

“All right, keep your eyes peeled…”

“He could be anywhere…”

“A master of camouflage and dis-“

“He’s out there. On the track.”


“…What?”

Griff packs the phone into his pocket, sprinting over to the window… Pressing his face in the window, his cheeks squished, next to Nadine… Who is calmly looking out through a window without looking like a cartoon character.

“On the Go-Karting track through that window… Holding… Can’t quite see it.. I think a nerf gun?”


Flynn speeds around the corner, barely visible but definitely there, his voice screaming but faint through the thick glass.

“FUCK YOU!”


Griff is stunned… Then elated.

“Well…We’ve got the fucker right where we want him… Now, we craft the perfect offens-“


"Hey... There’s a guy tied up back here..."


“WHAT?!?”

Griff dashes back to the front desk… To Anton, staring, peering over the cash register… Griff matches his gaze…

A man wearing an Austin Parks-n-Pizza Experience button-up. Arms and legs tied behind his back like a rodeo bull with a jump rope that according to the prize wall next to him was worth 20 tickets… The man moans and crunches in the air, trying to keep their attention.

Griff is again not sure how to handle this situation, then immediately adapts to the situation…

"Perfect... We can gather some precious intel on the enemy’s manpower and firepower before we...."

“NO FUCKING WAY!”

Griff, followed by Nadine and Anton, all rush over to Phillip in the arcade section, clapping his hands, thrilled and terrified for what else there could be…

“WHAT?!? WHAT IS IT?!?!”

“THIS ARCADE HAS GALAGA!”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“I love Galaga…”

“Like… like so much you guys…”


“…”

“…”

“…”

“…All right…”

Griff wipes the nerve sweat off his brow…

Calming down… readying himself for battle…

“Let’s… chat with that P.O.W…”
***

LEVEL 2: Needing a Little Space.

Space...

The final frontier...

These are the voyages of the Starship Failure...

Its mission...

To go on motherfucking rad space adventures...

[Image: Gradius2_zpsbf54ba81.png]

Admiral Vice-Captain Flynn stood at the deck of his immaculate invincible ship.

“GENERAL FIRST MATE FLYNN!”

General First Mate Flynn swivels in his chair on deck. The pair are visually identical…

“AYE SIR!”

Admiral Vice-Captain Flynn leans back in the captain’s chair. “What are we doing right now?”

General First Mate Flynn indicates to the main screen.

“As you ordered, we are firing into space with our laser cannon continuously so and I quote, ‘whatever is out there, knows to watch the fuck out.’”


Admiral Vice-Captain Flynn nods. “Make it so.”

“We ave done that.”

“Well then, continue to make it so.”

“Can do.”

“Good. Maintain, then.”

“Yessir.”

“Agreed.”

The spaceship continues to blast lasers into the dark endless void of space, pointlessly and without reason, blowing away the invisible adversaries that block their path and also do not exist.
***
“All right… I’m gonna do this quick…”


Anton’s hand slips onto the piece of tape. The captive closes his eyes.

Anton then releases the tape.

“…I heard that hurts less when you do it quick.”


The captive opens his eyes, then nods.

Anton’s hand once again gingerly grasps onto the mouth cover. The captive inhales deep through his nose, bracing himself…

And Anton once again stops.

“I think I read that somewhere… Maybe on the internet.”


“ANTON, YANK THE FUCKING TAPE OFF!”


KRRRRRRRRRRRRRSSSSSSSSSSSSSSH

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH”


“Oh, shit, sorry man…”

“He’ll live.”

Griff gets down close to the employee’s face… falling to a knee. His subject is sitting up right against a wall, Nadine standing over his left shoulder, Phillip over his right.

“The man who did this to you, soldier.”

“What does he have? What did you give him?”


The employee blinks… trying to understand what’s going on… then decides the smart thing to do is co-operate…

“Uh… he took the keys to a go-kart… And a laser tag gun…”


Griff’s eyes light… And smolder… With the promise of a true challenge…

“He’s armed.”

“What is he capable of with that firearm?”


The interrogated man… pauses…

“It’s… It’s a laser tag gun… You… uh…You can’t reall- Have you played laser tag before?”

“No. I don’t believe in future weaponry.”


“…Okay, I’ll tell you what. You four geniuses untie me, I’ll call the police, and then we-“


Griff’s hand slips over his mouth and nose. He wriggles trying to shake a nostril free, to no avail… Nadine shakes her head back and forth as Phillip lets out a low ‘ooooo.’

The employee panics, flipping from person to person, each unsympathetic.

“Son. There weren’t a lot of things you could have said to piss me off.”

“But calling the police? Muddying our hunt, our retribution, with outside forces? Especially those hippy sissy liberal Austin Police officers? That I can’t abide.”

Griff lets go of his mouth. He takes in a mouthful of air.

“Anton, tape back up his mouth.”

The employee shakes his head.

“W-Wait, hang on. Let’s talk this out…I can go to the kitchen, make y’all some pi-“


“I’m real sorry about this.”


The tape slips back over his mouth.

Griff sighs…


“Phillip, kick him over on his side, so we won’t have to worry about him making a nuisance of himself...”

“Sure thing!”

Griff heads over to the window…

And looks out at his prey…

Circling the track for another victory lap…

Mocking him…

“Nadine… Anton…”

“Grab a rascal each and meet us on the track.”

The couple disperses back through the front door to the parking lot.

“And Phillip.”

Phillip has propelled the employee over onto his side.

He turns like an obedient lapdog to his master.

“YES SIR!”

Griff looks off into the distance… And sees at the corner of the activity center…

A putt-putt course…

Griff… smiles…

“Help me grab some putters…”

***
General First Mate Flynn swivels back to face the captain.“SIR! Our lasers have been firing into deep space for 35 minutes now...”

Admiral Vice-Captain Flynn strokes his chin. “Radness level, General First Mate?”

General First Mate Flynn turns to is keyboard and rapidly taps on buttons.

“Radness levels off the god damned charts, sir.”

“Excellent. Inform the crew.”

“Well, there are two men on this ship. You and I. I knew. And I just told you. So the crew has been informed, sir.”

“Good. Fine work, First Mate General.”

“Thank you, Admiral Vice-Cap-“]

The main screen blares a Red Warning Message.

“Activate the main screen.”

[Image: Gradius_zpsc566a3fe.png]

“Space Invaders…”

To be continued…