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+--- Thread: I know this is getting old from me but... (/showthread.php?tid=11601)
I know this is getting old from me but... - Julian Martin - 04-04-2014
As the thread title says, Im sure you all are sick and tired of these kinda threads from me. I know I have not been a role model RPer or employee here and for that I am deeply sorry.
Due to numerous reasons, #1 I am going through a lot of stuff outside of the fed. Lot of issues with my bipolar and manic depression disorders as well as my back and I need to get all of that straightened out and take care of myself before I do something stupid or irresponsible. #2 I will catch a little heat for this but I just feel like after these first couple of weeks it's looking like a similar story with Julian as it was with Morrison, I hear of all of this potential I have and I've busted my ass with this new character and I know RTX is based more on becoming a better writer and to help me and I appreciate all Heyman is doing but I feel like Julian may not be working out as well as I have planned. Im not sure if maybe I need to start maybe doing shows bi-weekly instead of weekly so I can put more time and effort into the RPs and get more feedback to make myself better or maybe I just need to start over AGAIN from scratch because I am already running dry on ideas for Julian.
I really do not want to retire from e-fedding or from here, I have a blast but between the losing and most importantly, just a lot of things with myself that need my attention away from here, I don't know what the best course of action would be. I do not want to become a headcase or a problem here at all, and I don't want to be viewed as a sore loser, I congratulate El Tiburon for an awesome RP. I am just mentally exhausted due to both here and outside of here and I don't know what to do anymore to improve myself here as Ive busted my ass for months and already running low on ideas and I really want to find ANYWAY to improve myself here and start being a winner, and I NEED to improve myself outside of here. So I will be taking a break from RPing. Probably for just a couple of weeks, although it could be up to a month, and it may be as Julian or maybe I might try and revive Morrison although idk how that would fare much better, I really do not want to start from scratch again but I do not want to leave for good. I honestly don't know what to do, all I do know is I think I need a couple of weeks or so to get my head back on straight for both my sake here and in my own life.
I apologize to Heyman for any possible plans he had for me in the next couple weeks for RTX and I apologize to El Tiburon, I do not want to sound like Im taking a break cuz I lost, you earned it fair and square man, looking forward to a rematch down the road. I apologize to everybody here, Im sure yall are tired of seeing Andrew/Julian aka Anthony with the breaks/hiatuses and I know it can make me difficult to work with. I just feel like I need to take a little time to get myself together and figure out what I need to do, both here and more importantly in my life outside of XWF. Im sorry everybody. I really am. I'll hit Heyman up when I am ready to come back, when Im ready and whomever is coming back as. But anyways, again, Im sorry and I will see yall again soon. God bless.
Anthony
I know this is getting old from me but... - Morbid Angel - 04-05-2014
no god