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+---- Thread: Locked in a trunk, but not in the closet! I'm a changed man. (feder+mox rp) (/showthread.php?tid=11200)
Locked in a trunk, but not in the closet! I'm a changed man. (feder+mox rp) - Dean Moxley McGovern - 03-16-2014
Time: Story time with THE MOX
Date estimate: the weekend of WWX
Location: Sid Feder's trunk
Carries on from where Sid's RP left off: http://xwf99.com/showthread.php?tid=11199
The sounds of the camera jumbling around and the darkness around him reveals Dean McGovern to be in a very tight spot.
Hey boys and girls! Ouch, ouch that hurts.
Dean is holding his forehead and blood seems to be gushing out of it.
- Sorry about my looks right now but I just had a friendly meeting with my good pal Sid Feder. He's doing me a favor right now and driving me around in his trunk to help me relax and calm down after I accidentally hit my head. What a guy.
Dean pushes some of the random metal parts that are laying in the trunk away from him so he can get a little more room. Sid having an old fashioned car with a huge trunk is really a good thing right now for Dean.
- Some of ya may be wondering why I've got a camera in the trunk with me but is there ever a time THE MOX isn't ready to shoot a quick skit? Last time I was on the air I told all you kids that I was going to explain how I'm a changed man! I'm a new Dean! You may remember me as a slightly creepy, sort of weird guy who occasionally got mixed up in wrongful child molestation charges but I can assure you, my loyal fans across the nation with or without masturbation, that you are looking at a brand new playa.
Dean spits up some blood and coughs.
- Sorry about that. Now as I was saying and as you were left expecting from my appearance a few days back, I'm going to tell you a little story about how Dean Moxley McGovern grew up! That's right, I've matured and I am ready to debut the new me in the ring at World War Sextreme! What's different you ask? What's new? Well this takes us back about a month in time. There I was, walking down the street in one of my favorite cities and I got an egg thrown at me out of a moving car. I heard the people in the car yell HOMO! and the egg crashed right into my knee. Naturally I was left in a state of shock...did people really see me as a homo? How? Why? Since when?
I looked within myself for answers and I watched replay after replay of all the footage I could find on myself. I watched how I interacted with the kids; flawlessly. I watched how I kept myself composed when speaking to parents; professional and well spoken. I watched how I interacted with other wrestlers during my XWF runs; a straight mack daddy if there ever was one. I mean I even teamed up for a short time with a hot chick named Liz to mess with the XWF owner and have some fun.
How, when and where are people somehow getting the wrong idea about me, I wondered? Why call me a
?
So I phoned my friend Jimmy. He wasn't home. His mom said he was at his uncle's place and wouldn't be home until the next day. Shucks. I decide to give my pal Jimmy a jingle and his sister says he's grounded and can't talk on the phone. Poop. I go ahead and give my best friend Kyle a call but there's no answer at home, so I sext him. I send the sext explaining that I need a friend to talk to because I'm afraid people are getting the wrong idea about me; no answer.
There I was feeling alone and lost. I felt like I didn't have a friend in the world. I knew I could call Alex, Richie, Mikey, Bobby, Carl, Jessy, Tito or even Alejandro. Oh, Alejandro. But what if none of them are available either? I'd want to kill myself right then so I knew not to risk it, plus the battery on my purple and green Android phone was very low.
What to do? Who to turn to? Why did the world suddenly, over night in the blink of an eye, think I was a homo? Don't the people of this age realize there's no such thing as straight or gay?
That's when it happened! My angel was sent to me by the good lord above. There I was, just pissing in the alley and considering laying in my own urine afterward because I was so embarrassed of myself. That's when I heard the voice of a man named Eli James.
I didn't know why this semi-homeless looking man with the giant beard was approaching me while I had my wee wee in my hand, but I didn't question it.
Eli told me that he wasn't here to hurt me and that I could continue urinating without worry, but he wanted to make sure I knew I was cared for. How did he know? How could he tell I was a man in need right then and there?
I will tell you how. God knows all. He placed Eli James in that alley at that exact moment in time when I was at my pissiest. God knew I needed help and he knew Eli was the hand of God that was going to help me jerk off those fears that had festered in my brain.
Eli noticed the splattered egg on my knee and shook his head, ashamed on behalf of his fellow man.
"They called you, didn't they?" He was close; they actually called me homo. Eli went on to explain that he would never call me such things and he would accept me into his home with welcome arms. He asked me to put my wiener away when I was done peeing, too.
I didn't know why it mattered that my wiener was out if he was going to accept me as is, but I figured I'd go along with it and see where this takes me. I put my junk away and I extended my hand toward Eli to shake; fresh pee pee still sparkling in the light on my hand.
Eli decided that he wasn't going to shake my hand, yet. He instead told me to follow him and I of course did just that. He took me down a dark passageway and down a few steps into the back yard of somebody's home. While in that back yard Eli and I peered through the windows of the people who lived there.
Homos.
There we saw right before our eyes the very acts being performed that those mean guys in the car accused me of taking part in. I watched as this very unattractive man who looked like a bear just rammed this equally unattractive black man in his poop shoot. I couldn't understand how either of those men could be seen as sexy. Eli went on to explain that their lack of sexiness wasn't the issue here. The issue was that when people look at me, they picture people like that.
I screamed! I was freaked! Eli put his hand over my mouth before the homosexuals could hear me. Luckily they were so involved in their ramming that they heard nothing. I looked to Eli and I asked him for help. I said I needed to fix my image and I needed to make sure people knew I wasn't gay. The answer he gave me was startling at first, but seemed like it made sense after I thought about it.
He told me to just keep being myself. Change nothing. Do nothing to change the way others see me. In fact, he encouraged me to come back stronger than ever and to represent his Congro in the upcoming X-Dub War. Naturally I asked how this would make people stop thinking I was a homo and his response was mind shattering. He said, "if they see you and think gay thoughts, does that make you gay or them?"
My mind was tripping. He made so much sense and I had a renewed sense of self. I'll tell you right then if I had hugged Eli James he would have felt how excited and confident I was. All I had to do was be myself, be confident, and represent the good lord almighty in this brewing war. As long as I did that, I'd be seen for the man I am and people would know to NOT call me a homo when they see me on the streets, minding my own biz sexting away on my pink and green phone.
Dean seems so happy that he could burst from the trunk he's locked in just on joy alone.
- I may be locked in this trunk but I know I'm in the arms of the lord right now, and I'm being led by one of his very followers. I know Sid and Eli won't do me any harm and I know that after my performance this week, nobody is ever going to question my sexuality again.
The car seems to stop moving and Dean decides it's time to end this quick shoot. He wiggles his eyebrows at the camera and whispers "bye kids" before shutting it off and waiting for Sid to let him out of the trunk.