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Feedback? Yes please! - Printable Version +- X-treme Wrestling Federation (https://xwf99.com) +-- Forum: XWF OOC (https://xwf99.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=15) +--- Forum: Out Of Character (OOC) Board (https://xwf99.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=29) +--- Thread: Feedback? Yes please! (/showthread.php?tid=10283) |
Feedback? Yes please! - Kristy Jackson - 02-08-2014 I would like feedback on Kristy's interview rps. 1. http://xwf99.com/showthread.php?tid=10221 2. http://xwf99.com/showthread.php?tid=10266 RE: Feedback? Yes please! - John Msdison 2.Faggot - 02-10-2014 I'd proof read more if I were you. There were several mistakes in the RP as far as the writing. I think you even used the same sentence twice. As for the story itself, I would have made the interview more personal, and more about Kristy, than having it be an actual interview. Like, the DJ asks Kristy how she got into wrestling. Instead of having her give the generic answer to that question, why not take us through her thoughts on it instead? That way you would be able to go further with her back story instead of worrying about giving an interview-appropriate response. Instead of saying "I grew up a tom boy and watched it on TV when I was 10..." I'd say something like... "I remember being 10 years old, sitting in front of the television late Saturday night, and seeing my first wrestling show. I remember the moment that Fuckface jumped off the turnbuckle and split Dipshit's head in two with his fist. It was the moment that I got lured into the sport. Sports had always been part of my life. I liked playing football with the boys for fun. But wrestling was the first thing that I considered to be more than just a hobby." And so on. Yeah, I would just focus on your character's story and just have these interview scenes kinda be something going on in the background. Hope that makes sense. RE: Feedback? Yes please! - Kristy Jackson - 02-10-2014 I understand I didn't really know how to start it off to be honest. I was going to start it off with a story but I was really nervous of how it would turn out for an first rp. But thanks I will work harder and proof read a lot more. =) |