01-14-2014, 09:10 PM
Frodo sits down in a dark room somewhere stroking his new belt, smiling like a 
.
”My Preciousssssssssss.”
The small man notices the camera is on him, and Crack is holding it laughing.
”Enjoying your new little belt, are we Midge? Did you get it in the kids’ section?”
Frodo looks slightly confused at Crack’s comments.
”I am not that short, I’m 5’6”, that’s almost as tall as Tom Cruise. I’m a Champion now, I should get some respect. And that brings me to Gilmour: You’ve lost little boy. Before you step into that ring with me you’ve lost. And do you know why? Because I’m better than you ever could hope to be. I’ve been in this federation less than a month and I won a championship, and the only time I lost a match was against a man almost 2 feet taller than I am, and twice my weight, after I managed to get the drop on him. You, you lost to your own fat, lost in a handicap match where the odds were in your favor, and from what I’ve been able to dig up have only won two matches.
Damn, you suck. You’ll be facing a Champion, and you’re just pocket change. You’re not even good enough to be chump change, or even Obama’s change. Just the change left over when you buy a pack of gum or something. It’s actually hard to insult you because you insult yourself so much just by existing. Crack, help me out. This bitch ass is almost too stupid to insult.”
”If he was a dog we’d call him Moon Moon. If he was a character in a movie he’d be Zach Galifinkas from The Hangover, except he’d totally have the tranny bang his asshole. I heard his wife has a bigger dick than he does. I heard she’s the man in the relationship, and looks like this. “
Crack holds up a picture of Gandalf the grey in drag.
![[Image: 0494.jpg]](http://i187.photobucket.com/albums/x238/movielooney/0494.jpg)
Frodo began to laugh uncontrollably. It took the champion a few minutes to catch his breath.
”Dude, I gotta go get some fresh air, these pills are fucking with me bad. I think I’ma take H2G2 out for a spin. Wanna come with?”
”Nah, dude. You’re trashed, I ain’t driving with you in this condition, and maybe you shouldn’t drive either. What’d you take?”
Frodo tossed over a small baggy with Angel Dust in it, as well as a bottle with some 30 milligram Roxicodone.
”Dude, you’re mixing PCP and Oxy? What in the hell is wrong with you? Are you trying to die? Do you want us all to have to mourn you? You goddamn mother fucking stupid piece of shit!”
Crack jumped on top of the smaller man, pinning him as he yelled this in his face.
”Who the fuck would miss me? You? You’ll move on, find a girl, be happy, start a family, and if I’m lucky name a kid for me. Beef? He hasn’t called me in a while, I’ve texted him. He’s too busy for me. Z? Haven’t seen him in a while! Same with M.Lars. Fuck those two. Gwen and Joseph-Gordon don’t want anything to do with me, neither does my mother.”
Crack punched Frodo in the face, and lowered his face close to Frodo’s until their noses were touching.
”Let me tell you this one more time, you little fucking bitch. You are my best friend, in the world. I would die for you, I would walk through hell for you. Matter of fact, I got my knee busted to hell, and have to walk with a cane for the rest of my life for you. You are more important to me than my actual family, I followed you half way across the country. And concerning Beef and M.Lars, and Z; Beef’s mom is in the hospital, he’s been with her for the last week. M.Lars, he’s had to go overseas to handle some of his business, and he took Z with him. Gwen doesn’t hate you, she loves you so much. She just can’t be around you when you’re on drugs. Have you not met her new Fiancé, Charles?
He’s a lot like you are when you’re sober. Joseph is now proudly wearing shit with your face on it, and signing everything with the last name Smackins. And fuck your mother, she’s always been a bitch. Oh, and Zak cares about you. He may not want to date you, but he cares about you. So fuck off with your stupid ass shit and get off all these drugs. Yeah, I smoke, and pop pills, but you take it to a whole new level. Go the fuck to rehab you goddamn midget.
You’re almost as useless as Peter Gilmour when you’re like this. Bitch.”
The scene fades away as we see Frodo begin to cry a little.
.”My Preciousssssssssss.”
The small man notices the camera is on him, and Crack is holding it laughing.
”Enjoying your new little belt, are we Midge? Did you get it in the kids’ section?”
Frodo looks slightly confused at Crack’s comments.
”I am not that short, I’m 5’6”, that’s almost as tall as Tom Cruise. I’m a Champion now, I should get some respect. And that brings me to Gilmour: You’ve lost little boy. Before you step into that ring with me you’ve lost. And do you know why? Because I’m better than you ever could hope to be. I’ve been in this federation less than a month and I won a championship, and the only time I lost a match was against a man almost 2 feet taller than I am, and twice my weight, after I managed to get the drop on him. You, you lost to your own fat, lost in a handicap match where the odds were in your favor, and from what I’ve been able to dig up have only won two matches.
Damn, you suck. You’ll be facing a Champion, and you’re just pocket change. You’re not even good enough to be chump change, or even Obama’s change. Just the change left over when you buy a pack of gum or something. It’s actually hard to insult you because you insult yourself so much just by existing. Crack, help me out. This bitch ass is almost too stupid to insult.”
”If he was a dog we’d call him Moon Moon. If he was a character in a movie he’d be Zach Galifinkas from The Hangover, except he’d totally have the tranny bang his asshole. I heard his wife has a bigger dick than he does. I heard she’s the man in the relationship, and looks like this. “
Crack holds up a picture of Gandalf the grey in drag.
Frodo began to laugh uncontrollably. It took the champion a few minutes to catch his breath.
”Dude, I gotta go get some fresh air, these pills are fucking with me bad. I think I’ma take H2G2 out for a spin. Wanna come with?”
”Nah, dude. You’re trashed, I ain’t driving with you in this condition, and maybe you shouldn’t drive either. What’d you take?”
Frodo tossed over a small baggy with Angel Dust in it, as well as a bottle with some 30 milligram Roxicodone.
”Dude, you’re mixing PCP and Oxy? What in the hell is wrong with you? Are you trying to die? Do you want us all to have to mourn you? You goddamn mother fucking stupid piece of shit!”
Crack jumped on top of the smaller man, pinning him as he yelled this in his face.
”Who the fuck would miss me? You? You’ll move on, find a girl, be happy, start a family, and if I’m lucky name a kid for me. Beef? He hasn’t called me in a while, I’ve texted him. He’s too busy for me. Z? Haven’t seen him in a while! Same with M.Lars. Fuck those two. Gwen and Joseph-Gordon don’t want anything to do with me, neither does my mother.”
Crack punched Frodo in the face, and lowered his face close to Frodo’s until their noses were touching.
”Let me tell you this one more time, you
little fucking bitch. You are my best friend, in the world. I would die for you, I would walk through hell for you. Matter of fact, I got my knee busted to hell, and have to walk with a cane for the rest of my life for you. You are more important to me than my actual family, I followed you half way across the country. And concerning Beef and M.Lars, and Z; Beef’s mom is in the hospital, he’s been with her for the last week. M.Lars, he’s had to go overseas to handle some of his business, and he took Z with him. Gwen doesn’t hate you, she loves you so much. She just can’t be around you when you’re on drugs. Have you not met her new Fiancé, Charles? He’s a lot like you are when you’re sober. Joseph is now proudly wearing shit with your face on it, and signing everything with the last name Smackins. And fuck your mother, she’s always been a bitch. Oh, and Zak cares about you. He may not want to date you, but he cares about you. So fuck off with your stupid ass shit and get off all these drugs. Yeah, I smoke, and pop pills, but you take it to a whole new level. Go the fuck to rehab you goddamn midget.
You’re almost as useless as Peter Gilmour when you’re like this. Bitch.”
The scene fades away as we see Frodo begin to cry a little.