01-09-2014, 07:51 PM
Jordy is sitting on his bed legs crossed, Sinessy kisses his forehead and leaves the room as he drums on his knees
You are so determined to push this aren't you kid? I may not of gotten a solid hit but I am still standing, I took more punishment than anyone else in that match and I am still standing, I took the most ridiculous tombstone in the history of the sport and I am still standing. In the last week I have lost every match bar the one with Smokey still to air via some bastard and a steel chair and I am still standing. As for my shithole of a country at least thats a fucking metaphor for Northern Ireland, you literally live in a shitty whole
Caliban laughs and
a video pops up on the screen, its a youtube video of what looks like the back of Frodo's head on a handycam doing what looks like a homemade version of cribs. The video starts walking up the drive of an old but not completely past its time house that from the amount of doors must of been converted into apartments Some circus music starts and we get the usual sped up thing where they go down into the basement of the building and stop at a door, The camera making sure to stay completely behind the subjects head
This is my home!
He opens the door into a small, dank, dingy little apartment, the smell of dried semen is everywhere, a camera man can vaguely be heard throwing up in his own mouth as the man we assume is Frodo leads us into his studio room and starts giving the very short tour
So yeah, this is where I sleep
He points at one corner and there is a childs day bed covered in stains and hot rock burns
Where all that magic happens if you know what I mean
Smackins turn to wink at the camera and Elijah Wood is standing in his place with a big smile on his face looking a little bit too cracked out
This is my kitchen
They spin around and look at a small alcove containing a hot plate, a sink and half a fridge
It's basic but its all a half man needs, now I know you guys like a look in the fridge so here we go
The fridge opens up and an almost visible cloud of stank fills the room, the camera zooms in on a fridge full of food so out of date that it is basically trying to crawl itself into the bin, thats where the video stops and we switch back to Caliban
Yeah thats about as far as I got as well Althought its amazing what Elijah Wood will do for work these days dont yah think? But seeing as the little guy likes to talk about my home I thought it would be nice to share his with all of you, Yes that's right, that was actually his house I swear to god. Frodo you need better locks mate. As for you being England, yeah you do that, Ill be Northern Ireland, we will kill your soldiers while you cant find ours, we will blow up your buildings and you won't be able to find out how and we will disrupt your sad little life so much you will be scared to walk out the door if we do something as simple as make a phone call. Little man you know absolutely fuck all about Northern Ireland or the troubles or any of that shit, What does IRA stand for? Or UVF or UDA, keep your sad little across the water view on history out of this or at least go and fuckin learn something about it before you embarrass yourself again.
Caliban puts a hand up and stops talking for a second contemplating his next words
Frodo you say I think I am hot shit, that was the phrase right? Nah little man, your the hot shit, well your about the size of a turd at least. Say anything you want about me Frodo but when it all comes down to it, I am a professional wrestler who people look at and say holy fuck this guy can go, maybe even with the potential to be a champion, you walk out to the ring and everyone takes a bathroom break to avoid the comic relief.
And just one more thing, you dropped a pile of book references like they were meant to be insults and yet your name is frodo, PSSSST hey gutter breath, Lord of the rings was a book before it was a film and you named yourself after the gayest character in it. Ill keep reading what I read and you keep sucking cock, I don't face children in the ring and really that is all you are and obviously have ever and will ever be. Boo Hoo Hoo I'm small and my mommy didn't love me. You are a living gimmick you lonely little creature
You are so determined to push this aren't you kid? I may not of gotten a solid hit but I am still standing, I took more punishment than anyone else in that match and I am still standing, I took the most ridiculous tombstone in the history of the sport and I am still standing. In the last week I have lost every match bar the one with Smokey still to air via some bastard and a steel chair and I am still standing. As for my shithole of a country at least thats a fucking metaphor for Northern Ireland, you literally live in a shitty whole
Caliban laughs and
a video pops up on the screen, its a youtube video of what looks like the back of Frodo's head on a handycam doing what looks like a homemade version of cribs. The video starts walking up the drive of an old but not completely past its time house that from the amount of doors must of been converted into apartments Some circus music starts and we get the usual sped up thing where they go down into the basement of the building and stop at a door, The camera making sure to stay completely behind the subjects head
This is my home!
He opens the door into a small, dank, dingy little apartment, the smell of dried semen is everywhere, a camera man can vaguely be heard throwing up in his own mouth as the man we assume is Frodo leads us into his studio room and starts giving the very short tour
So yeah, this is where I sleep
He points at one corner and there is a childs day bed covered in stains and hot rock burns
Where all that magic happens if you know what I mean
Smackins turn to wink at the camera and Elijah Wood is standing in his place with a big smile on his face looking a little bit too cracked out
This is my kitchen
They spin around and look at a small alcove containing a hot plate, a sink and half a fridge
It's basic but its all a half man needs, now I know you guys like a look in the fridge so here we go
The fridge opens up and an almost visible cloud of stank fills the room, the camera zooms in on a fridge full of food so out of date that it is basically trying to crawl itself into the bin, thats where the video stops and we switch back to Caliban
Yeah thats about as far as I got as well Althought its amazing what Elijah Wood will do for work these days dont yah think? But seeing as the little guy likes to talk about my home I thought it would be nice to share his with all of you, Yes that's right, that was actually his house I swear to god. Frodo you need better locks mate. As for you being England, yeah you do that, Ill be Northern Ireland, we will kill your soldiers while you cant find ours, we will blow up your buildings and you won't be able to find out how and we will disrupt your sad little life so much you will be scared to walk out the door if we do something as simple as make a phone call. Little man you know absolutely fuck all about Northern Ireland or the troubles or any of that shit, What does IRA stand for? Or UVF or UDA, keep your sad little across the water view on history out of this or at least go and fuckin learn something about it before you embarrass yourself again.
Caliban puts a hand up and stops talking for a second contemplating his next words
Frodo you say I think I am hot shit, that was the phrase right? Nah little man, your the hot shit, well your about the size of a turd at least. Say anything you want about me Frodo but when it all comes down to it, I am a professional wrestler who people look at and say holy fuck this guy can go, maybe even with the potential to be a champion, you walk out to the ring and everyone takes a bathroom break to avoid the comic relief.
And just one more thing, you dropped a pile of book references like they were meant to be insults and yet your name is frodo, PSSSST hey gutter breath, Lord of the rings was a book before it was a film and you named yourself after the gayest character in it. Ill keep reading what I read and you keep sucking cock, I don't face children in the ring and really that is all you are and obviously have ever and will ever be. Boo Hoo Hoo I'm small and my mommy didn't love me. You are a living gimmick you lonely little creature