01-01-2014, 07:55 PM
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8==>I'm the Champ!<==8
8==>December 27th<==8
It didn't take Sid Feder long to set up a meeting with the Madness GM, Mr. Paul Heyman himself. Paul had been briefed on the XWF's recent course of action with Mr. Feder but was a little unsure what to expect with this encounter.
Paul arrives where Sid Feder requested to meet of all places; the beach. Paul approaches a small cafe on the beach where he was told by Sid to keep an eye out for a bright red shirt. Sure enough after entering the cafe, Paul notices a man staring right at him with a very scary as fuck welcoming smile.
Sid: "Good afternoon Mr. Heyman!"
Paul nods at the man he's now assuming is Sid and approaches the table, greeting him with a handshake.
Paul: "It's a pleasure to meet or um should I say it's good to see you again, Sid."
Sid: "Likewise, Paul, likewise. You're looking to be in the best shape of your life, sir."
Paul looks off to the side for a second almost wondering if he's having some kind of joke played on him but he goes along with it as he takes a seat at the table.
Paul: "Why thank you, Sid. Now what was it you wanted to discuss with me about Madness?"
Sid: "Well first I wanted to show you what Shane
gave me earlier today."Sid stands up and reveals that he has the European Title around his waist. He taps the front plate a few times and smiles at Paul--
Sid: "According to Mr.
, I'm the champ of your show."Paul: "Yes, yes you are. You are my champion."
Sid sits back down, still wearing the title along with his very short shorts and red beach shirt.
Sid: "That's right, Paul. I'm the champ because I earned it and because I'm the best the XWF has to offer. That is why I'm the one with the gold, right? I'm Sid Feder."
Paul: "Well technically it was, um, actually yes you earned it. You've earned your place at the top, Sid. That's why on January 6th I've got you booked to show the world just how great of a champion you really are -- Just picture it now! Sid Feder defends against Mr. Supernova in a European Title match!"
Sid: "Is that so? I'm defending this European Championship January 6th? Would it be acceptable for me to pay this Mr. Supernova gent a visit before that time and wish him luck?"
Paul was taking a sip of coffee and almost choked on it, spilling some of it on himself and grabbing a napkin to dab up the drops.
Paul: "Well I, uh, probably not? You two don't exactly have the best relationship."
| [---cut to Sid reviewing his own footage---] Little did Paul know I'd be at New Year's Madness to personally shake Mr. Supernova's hand and wish him luck-- --and by that I mean I beat him with a baseball bat and drove his skull into the concrete, almost busting my own kneecaps in the process but sometimes a little wear and tear is needed to get a firm "hello" across to somebody. [---cut back to the previous footage---] |
Sid: "Ahh, I gotcha; he's one of the ones I'm not supposed to like. I'll have to look up more information on him and see if there's anything about him that I can use to my advantage. With a name like Mr. Supernova, I'm expecting the same kind of reaction as when I reach my hand down a hot woman's pair of panties under the midnight moonlight."
Paul: "I, I'm not sure what you could mean and I'm almost afraid to ask?"
Sid: "Oh well just take a look at me, Paul; I'm quite the ladies man if I do say so myself -- so oozing machismo that once I'm to the point of running my fingers down a young lady's abdomen and into uncharted territory, I already know I'm going to find a geyser down there waiting for me. I'm comparing that to the thought of looking for things to attack on a guy named Mr. Supernova and I'm expecting an overflowing supply of ammunition to just be there waiting for me."
| [---cutaway---] Boy I wasn't fucking kidding, was I? I've had the chance to exchange words with Mr. Supernova since this took place and let me just tell you -- what a -- literally.[---cutback---] |
Paul: "Ah I get it now. I can see where you're going with that but the delivery needs some work. If you're going to be Sid Feder you need to be a little quicker on the draw if you know what I mean."
Sid: "I'll keep practicing, sir. When they briefed me on this job they said I'd need to up my 'trash talking game' as they called it. I never realized there were places that prized that ability so much. When I was competing over in sCENSORED a few weeks ago, all they did was have a camera crew follow us around for a few hours a day while we worked out and took dumps. That's all our promos were supposed to be; we hardly even would get a chance to address our opponent."
Paul: "Well luckily this isn't sCENSORED so first of all that means your face will actually be getting seen now." (starting to whisper to Sid) "If I can be direct, we both know the reason you were chosen for this job is because they knew nobody would recognize you." (no longer whispering) "The second thing that means is you need to be able to run circles around your opposition outside of the ring; get that heat going before your match or nobody's even going to care who you beat or lost to at the end of the day."
Sid: "Yes I understand completely, sir. Sid Feder is back and ready to have his face shown to the world. I'm the type of guy that will have the women won over in about 30 seconds and the men will just have to learn to love how much they hate me."
Paul: "Hmm, yes, that very last part does sound kind of like the Sid I know."
Sid: "I'll tell you one thing right now, Paul -- just three short moths from now they'll already be calling me Sid Feder Pussy Wetter."
Paul's eyes bulge and he is left in amazement once again.
Paul: "And there went the Sid I thought I knew. Welp, looking forward to seeing you out there on January 6th. Sid? Sid?"
That quickly Sid had already gotten up and taken into the waters to help a young lady who had called out for help. It seems this young lady is a new swimmer and needed some assistance which Sid was more than happy to deliver. Paul Heyman watches in amazement as his European Champion works his magic--
Sid: "Yeah sorry about that, Paul; I heard a woman in distress and the rest was involuntary."
Sid smiles as he continues involuntarily assisting the lovely young lady. He makes sure to examine all the important areas of her body to make sure she's using proper swimming technique. At this rate, Sid could end up being the XWF's swimming coach if it had such a position to fill. Speaking of positions to fill, Sid really is enjoying the view.
Paul just smiles and nods, still trying to process that the sight before his eyes right now is, by all rights, his European Champion Sid Feder.
Paul: "Wow."
Sid sees Paul just watching him with this beautiful woman and he doesn't want to be rude so he invites Paul to get in, despite the fact that Paul is wearing his regular clothes.
Sid: "Come on in, Paul. The water's fine. She says she has a friend you can swim with."
Sid points and Paul sees a very large woman in a bathing suit rushing in their direction. Paul immediately pulls his cell phone from his pocket and says out loud--
Paul: "Well would you look at that? Just got an emergency text message. Well I'll catch up with you later, Sid."
Paul rushes away from the scene before the large woman can get any closer. He hears Sid calling his name, saying something about surfing but Paul just walks faster.
| ---final cutaway--- I'll be honest with you; I don't think Heyman had an emergency there. I think he's just shy when it comes to the lovely young ladies on the beach. He'll come around though. As for me, I think I'm really getting comfortable here in the XWF since my arrival return. I've had a chance to smash Mr. Supernova's head into the ground after beating him with a bat, I've had a chance to talk some "trash" at him over on the House Show promo tapings and holy shit, that boy has revealed himself to be the biggest homosexual I ever have laid my eyes on-- But then I saw his chosen partner -- that "boy with the shit covered dick from sticking it in too many guys' assholes" was actually Mr. Supernova's choice for that House Show tag match. That Space Coke snorting, cock sucking alien vampire could have chosen myself or Amos James Jr. as his partner but he dives right for the spandex wearing, penis helmeted fairy known as The People's Cock. Surprisingly I see this as you doing me a god damn favor, you feminine looking twinkie -- I managed to get teamed with the only other straight man in the main event even if he can't figure out how to use the soap and faucet in the washroom. Amos might have weird shit smeared all over his face and black shit encrusted around his eyes but at least he doesn't have a damn dick in his ass. Supernova -- much like Amos and I will dispose of you and your happily chosen partner at the house show, I'll be dismantling you and putting your head through the canvas on Monday night when you fail to take this European Championship from me.How will you fare when you are expected to perform in a real match with a real champion? Not some bullshit joke of a match where your "TV Title" is on the line for 15 fucking minutes -- FUCK THAT SHIT! This is European Gold you're fighting (and losing) for! Your championship is the biggest joke this company has ever seen, Supernova. I did my homework and it's mind blowing to see how little of time you actually have spent defending that title. Not to mention the XWF has a list of stipulations a mile long to protect its TV Champ from actually getting defeated, but watch how easily I just snap my fingers and put you down when it's a real one on one encounter; none of this shit where I have to jump through 50 different hoops all week long, fit into specific time limits or any of that crap. Isn't it going to fucking blow when you're in a match that doesn't even have a 15 minute time limit and I still beat you in 5? All that will be pretty shitty in and of itself but it doesn't end there, oh no. This is the part where you start to realize that after defeating you and retaining my European title, I'm going to enter one of your shitty ass TV Title matches and take that from you so I can melt it down and have it made into a large coin. I'm not joking; I think I'd rather walk around with a giant gold coin than let you parade around with the Television Title stuck up your ass. I mean I might as well have the TV Title permanently fitted to my liking as soon as I win it -- if a fucking gay dude who plays in glitter and puts glow in the dark stars all over his body can somehow hold that title for as long as you have (almost a year?) then you better believe once someone of my caliber gets it, it'll never change hands again. Talk about owned -- I'm about to own you, Supernova, and then I'm going to take it a step further and own that TV Title of yours just for the trouble of having to deal with you in the first place. Congrats on your European Title shot against me. Better put that TV Title on a few last times and fuck Zak Misery in his pink hairless asshole, you man-milk guzzling, mock wrestler. Get the fuck out of my ring -- nah, fuck that -- get the fuck out of my SPACE. I'm Sid Feder, bitch, and those stars belong to me. ---cut this bitch faster than Sid just cut Nova's lifeline--- |