11-03-2013, 12:46 PM
Previously on the Misadventures of Luca and Nova...
The scene then changes to inside the apartment's bathroom, where Luca is pulling a pair of jeans while Nova stands in the doorway. Reaching to grab his shirt, a lightbulb goes off in Luca's head, and he grabs a small mostly red canister off the bathroom counter. Twisting the top slightly, he aims the front of the canister at his chest and presses on the top. A plume of odored vapor comes from the can, hitting Luca's bare chest. Smiling, Luca turns the can around, so that the logo is in the mirror.
"When I start my mornings, I use Old Spice Swagger body spray!"
"Umm... What?" Nova accompanies this question with a confused stare into the mirror. Laughing, Luca spins around (still keeping the Old Spice logo in full view) and faces his space born frienemy.
"Product placement, mothafucka! I'm getting paid a cubic fuckton for spraying this shit on me and holding it up to a mirror!" Putting the canister on the counter where it was; Luca grabs his shirt and puts it on before pushing past Nova and walking out to the table where he had his morning Steve Davids/Tony Santos. Scanning the top of the table, he grabs a black snapback and places it on his head.
"Um, I don't think it works like that. I'm pretty sure that you have to film a commercial, not just hold it up to your mirror. I mean; who are you selling it to, yourself? Me?"
"Dude, trust me. Old Spice is payin' me to spray this shit on myself and hold it up to mirrors." Grabbing a set of keys off the table, that were conveniently placed next to the douchetastic hat of choice, Luca walks on over to the door leading out of the apartment, his shoes already on for some reason.
"I highly doubt that, Luca," Nova begins, chuckling. "You aren't exactly the most marketable option."
"Care to take a bet, spacenigga?"
"Care to stop calling me that?"
"Nope." With shaky hands, he pushes open the door and steps into the hallway that's situated on the outside (oh yes, it's that kind of apartment) and reaches into the pocket of his pants. In the left pocket, was a baggie of marijuana. In the right, rolling papers.
Our view zooms over to Nova, shaking his head with a sense of disappointment radiating off of each motion.
It then cuts back to Luca, blunt in hand. As part of the contract obligations, violence, sex, and drug use can be shown. However, showing footage of a blunt being rolled is the line. Apparently, you can't cross that line. Like, literally. It's impossible.
"Do you always have to have some form of drug on you?" Catching up to the jittery motherfucker, Nova places one hand on his shoulder, looking over at the blunt in his hand.
"You know how I get when I'm sober!"
"No, I don't! I don't think you've even been sober in the time that we started hanging out! Not for a single second!"
Silently, Luca contemplates this revelation. Then, reacting in the only way he seems to know how, he extends the blunt in hand to Nova.
"You know you want a hit."
"And how do you know, what I want?"
"Because, we're fuckin' going Halloween costume shopping. You had to have been on something to go through with that, and I don't need you crashing and bitching about how you blew up planets or some shit in the middle of the store!"
"Fuck you." Frustrated, Nova snatches the blunt from Luca's hand and sparks that shit up, pressing it to his lips and taking a hit. Passing it back to Luca, his demeanor slightly shifts. "Where the hell did you get this from?"
"My pocket, duh."
Nova rolls his eyes at Luca, knowing that would be the only answer he'll give. Luca then takes a hit of the blunt and turns his head to look at his space frienemy once more.
"So, about that bet..."
"Fuck it, thirty dollars?"
"Deal!"
The two then continue forth down the hallway, until being stopped by a short, fat man wearing a red shirt and a belt that had cans of Old Spice Swagger hanging from it. Panting, redfaced, and sweating, he rushes down the hall to the two, before pointing at Luca and beginning to speak in a breathless, courageless mumble.
"A-are you Luca A-arzegotti?"
"Do I look like anyone else?"
Ecstatically nervous, he reaches into his back pocket, jingling the cans on his belt before pulling out a white envelope with the words Old Spice written on it, addressed to none other than Luca.
"This, this is-"
"My fucking endorsement money?" Luca extends his hand and snatches the envelope from the man.
"Y-yes! If that's all, I'll be on my wa-"
He turns to leave, when Nova reaches at the belt and takes one of the canisters from it. Turning back around, the man attempts to get in the spaceman's face before Nova sprays the contents of the can at his eyes, not stopping until the canister's empty. Finally, he takes the man's wallet, removes $30, and throws it back onto his coughing, red eyed body.
"Here's your money."
Luca does nothing but laugh and slide the money into the same pocket as the envelope, when all of a sudden, a voice from behind the two causes both of them to jump with surprise.
"Hey, pussbags!" The shout is followed by the sound of glass shattering and a woman's screams. Our two heroes turn around, only to be greeted by the sight of...
Stone Cold John Madison.
"John!"
"Oh no..."
"Oh yes, spacepuss. I don't know what you two druggies had in mind, but we're all going on a little The Black Circle field trip, right to the nearest costume shop."
"That's actually what we were just about to do..."
"Oh, is it now?" John steps closer to the two, the already strong odor of marijuana burning intensifies with each step towards the two he takes. Snatching the blunt right out of Luca's hand, even though it wasn't in plain sight, he inspects it, before taking a hit himself.
"Woo, shit. What the fuck's in this?" His eyes unsteadily look over to Luca, who sheepishly admits to the nonmarijuana contents of the blunt.
"PCP."
"Wait, what?"
"God dammit, now I have babysit three of them." Stepping out of the shadows, a severely unamused look on his face, is none other than NAZI. Snapping his fingers, he tries to get the attention of the other three.
"Come on! Shane's got the van running, and if I have to spend another minute in the Dark Side of LA, I'm gonna kill one of these fucking cotton pickers!"