Joe Tuesday
10-13-2013, 10:59 PM
As these thoughts pass through my mind, the front door pops open and my wife - Hannah, strides in carrying two brown paper, grocery bags in each arm.
Oh good your here and not outside working. There's a couple more bags in the car I need you to grab. There was a huge sale, so I stocked up on everything we need. What we need and then some actually.
Smiling I take the bags out of her hands and set them on the table.
I'll grab that in a second. Right now we need to talk.
Wow, I just tossed that out there. Right off the bat. I guess it's a good approach now that I think about it. I'll just tell her and it'll be out in the open. She'll know and this will be like ripping off a band-aid. Quick and to the point. I just have to stay calm and confident. I can do this. Although, catching the concerned look in my wife's eyes really starts giving me some serious doubt.
What is it Joe? What happened? What do you have to talk to me about? Are you having an affair? It's that bitch Rachel down at the farmer's market, isn't it. I seen the way she looks at you. I just didn't think you'd stoop to something like that. That you could do something that low.
Was she serious? I don't even know who this person was, she was talking about. All I do is drop off my goods at the market and pick up the money for supplying them.
What? No! That's not what I have to tell you. I'm not having an affair! Geez....Hannah...really? You think because I say I need to talk to you, that it instantly means I'm cheating on you? Have we really lived here long enough for you to get bored and start seeing signs of things that aren't happening? Do you really think I'd do that to you?
I'm sorry. I guess I just jumped to conclusions, but now that you mention it, I have been kind of bored lately. I know that you really like it here, but after being in Chambers County for several months, I think I'm starting to go a little stir crazy. I mean you have your farm work and I tried to get involved, but that's really not for me. I miss our old life. I miss our old house. I miss the city. I miss not having to drive 10 fucking miles, just to get groceries. Oh honey, I know you love it here and you've really changed for the better since we moved here, but I don't know how long I can take it.
Wow. So there it is. I had no clue I was making my wife live in a place she hated. That's really fucking wonderful. Now I feel even more like a shitty husband, cause now I know I made her live in a place she couldn't stand, and I still have to tell her I'm going back to wrestling. That's just great.
What was it that you wanted to tell me?
Well here goes.
I had a visitor today sweetheart. Paul Heyman came by and it seems I'm still under a contractual agreement to wrestle for the XWF. A contract I breached when I just up and left the company. Now I can either go back and wrestle, or they can sue me. So it looks like I'm returning to my career as being a pro wrestler. Well that is until my contract runs out and then I'm free to do whatever I like. Which I thought was being a farmer, but now...I don't know what I'll do cause my wife isn't happy with any career choice I make. I thought life here in Chambers County was good, but I apparently am incapable of making good choices. I guess I can look into getting a new place somewhere else once my checks for wrestling start coming in though.
That all came out harsher than I wanted it to. But I was a little hurt. I really thought life here was a good one, that my wife was happy here and I find out I was wrong.
What? You're going back to wrestling? You could get seriously hurt. How can they do this to you?
It was all in the contract. It's legal and binding, so there's not much I can do about it. I'll just have to make the best of it I guess. Bite the bullet and ride out my time. I should be able to pull it off. Now we can move back to the city too, so maybe there's going to be a small upside to this. I personally can't stand the city myself, but if it's what you need to make you happy, I'm fine with moving back.
I don't know if I can take you going back to wrestling though.
Well you have to, there's no way around it.
I know you can't refuse to go back, but I don't think I can go through with that worry. I don't think I can take you being a part of the XWF again.
So what are you saying?
I'm saying this is just the final thing, that makes me realize what I've been feeling for some time. That this isn't working out anymore.
You've got to be fucking kidding me! You just accused me of cheating on you, less then five minutes ago and now you're saying this isn't working out? What the fuck?
Yes and that's actually further proof, that my subconscious mind was looking for a way out. Don't you see? That mixed with a serious difference in what we find to be a good place to live. We just aren't working out anymore.
So? You jumped to conclusions cause you were bored and a lot of people who are married have different tastes in what they find appealing. That's not a reason to split up.
There's more to it than that. Ever since we moved here, you've changed. I know it's a change for the better for you. You're more laid back and calmer, but at the same time you lost that spark that attracted me to you. We've been drifting apart gradually. You just didn't notice. Which is another sign, that this isn't working. You thought things were fine and I'm telling you, things are far from being fine.
I didn't know what to say. I felt numb. Yeah I guess numb, was a good word for it. A dullness to what was happening, that encased me like a shield
So what are you going to do?
Fuck, I have changed. How is that the first question I ask? The old me would have been furious and probably, punched a hole in the wall. But now, I just felt deflated and lost. She was so unhappy and I didn't notice. I thought things were good and they weren't, It was all a lie. A deception like what I pulled when I was wrestling and saying I still had my job at the bank, but far...far worse and on a grander emotional level. Hannah was keeping quiet about her dislike for the this place we were living and never once said anything. Never gave me a sign, or even the smallest indication. She also hated my personality change, that I thought was for the better, that she even agrees was for the better and yet, it also made her lose interest in me. Jesus Christ, I don't know what to believe anymore.
I guess I'll pack some things and head out to my sister's tonight. We can figure out how we want to go over stuff in the morning.
So this is really happening? We're splitting up, just like that. It's over.
I really don't see another option.
I nodded as I felt a bit of anger begin to stir inside me. I felt it rise up and I didn't know what to do with it. I couldn't exactly hit my wife. I mean I could, but I wouldn't do that. I'm just not that kind of guy. So instead, I walked straight for the front door, opened it and kept on walking. My fists balled at my sides, I walked straight for my truck and climbed in. I could hear my wife yelling something to me as I started it up, but I had already tuned her out. Her voice didn't even register as communicating real words, just a jumbled mess of sound and soon it wasn't even that. Soon even that sound didn't exist as I put as much distance as I could between myself and Hannah.