09-22-2013, 03:40 AM
Tri Bute: Our Lord, Our Great King: A Biographical Future Comic
ISSUE #4 (Part 3)
The Future Seal: Cam Puss
Previously on ISSUE #4:
“Hilary Swank,”
“Maybe she should ‘act’ her way into a future paper bag.”
The emotional future scars never healed.
“I’ll give you kids a future hint. You can count the amount of future acorns on two future hands.”
“There are eleven future acorns,”
“Let’s future laugh and future point at him,”
“I’m all for doing it in a different order this time.”
“I guess I’m getting that future finger addification future surgery I wanted.”
“No,”
I want J.I.Z.Z.!
I’ll get a future job.
---
There weren’t many future jobs available for a 12 future year old kid out in Future Ryan, Future Oklahoma. Some future employers wouldn’t hire someone with five future fingers when they could hire someone with six future fingers. I didn’t let that stop me. I was determined to get that future finger addification future surgery. My future depended on it.
I wanted to do great things like Mus Ician. I wanted to create my own trampooning stylilistastic superclashracrashindo darrencriss of beautifulcosity. That really swag thing.
I felt like I still needed my future schooling.
“If this is what I have to do, I’ll do it,” Tri Bute told himself as he stepped toward the dusty future building.
Tri Bute didn’t look at the future signs or the future bouncers. He walked straight through the front future door and headed straight into the future office space. He happened upon a future man in a future suit. He had a lit future cigarette in one future hand and a stack of future dough in the other. By future dough I mean future money.
“A kid? What are you doing in here?”
Tri Bute slammed the future door behind him and future locked it. Tri Bute took a seat in an empty future chair and put his future feet up on the future desk.
“I need a future job.”
The future man put down the stack of future money he was counting and took a look at Tri Bute’s 12 future year old future body.
“I think you came to the wrong place, kid. Do you see the future animals out there? They don’t want to see some pasty, five future fingered future freak dancing on the future stage. They want to see future women. They want to see future women with future boobs.”
“I don’t see future animals out there. I see future dollar signs. I’m future money, sir, maybe not to those future men, but when I get there and future dance I will shock the entire future world.”
“I don’t believe you, kid. Aren’t you a little young to future dance exotically?”
“It’s Tri Bute, and I’m 12 future years old. I’m pretty much an adult.”
“Well, Butey, I like my future dancers with spirit. I need them to have a certain future aura of purity. They need to have uniformity. They need to live and breathe nitroxperimnicity. They need kationmicritaylorship. My future dancers are covered future head to future toe with S.P.U.N.K., unless you can prove to me you have that, you can make like a future tree and future leave. Do you hear me? If you can’t prove it to me you don’t have what it takes to future dance in front of those future animals out there.”
“Mr. Puss, I may not be covered with this S.P.U.N.K., but I’ve got something better. I’ve got justice, integrity, zankustility, and Zeusrion on my side, sir. I am walking J.I.Z.Z., Cam Puss. You can take the greatest piece of future meat to offer itself on a gronjagorium platter, or you can leave it. I’ll bring in more future animals than these future boobs ever could,” said Tri Bute, making sure to throw up air quotes around 'future boobs'.
“You got some future balls, kid. I like future balls, but you’re going to have prove it. You’re going to future dance right here. If I see this J.I.Z.Z. then maybe I’ll put you on that future stage.”
Cam Puss started the future music, so, Tri Bute future danced. Cam Puss was skeptical at first, but, it wasn’t long before the S.P.U.N.K. and the J.I.Z.Z. oozed out of Tri Bute and sprayed his future face. When Tri Bute removed his future boxer shorts Cam Puss stopped the future music.
“You’re in. You got the future talent, kid. Just don’t make me regret it.”
---
"Where's my future dough?"
"What? Why? No!"
“I’m out of here!”
“Where are you going?”
“The future hospital, now I’ll never have to future dance again!”
Cam Puss looked down at all the future money Tri Bute had made him during the past five future years. Deep down I’m sure he knew this future day would come. Fivers always went for future surgery at some point. But…
Tri Bute, Tri Bute,
This was his Fiver. This was his five future finger future freak. He reached down and pressed the future button under his future desk. He wouldn’t let him get away. Not this time. Tri Bute snacthed the last of his future wage off of Puss's future desk.
Tri Bute of the future.
The future door sealed and shut right as Tri Bute turned to exit.
“Wait, pussycat, doll face, darling, kid-,”
“I’m seventeen and a half future years old. I’m pretty much an adult.”
With his future fist Tri Bute clobbered Cam Puss knocking him into his future swivel chair and causing him to roll backwards into a future bookshelf. Future books rained down from the higher future shelves, burying Cam.
Strong as one can be.
Tri Bute flipped over Cam Puss’s future desk and hit the future button again to open the future door. He then left the future strip club with the hope that he’d never have to return.
“Six future finger addification future surgery, I’ve waited for your intoxicating allure for so long. I’ll return to future school. I’ll return to that glory I once knew. The age of S.P.U.N.K., one that has lasted for too long, will dissipate forever, because now J.I.Z.Z. is my future.”
Tri Bute, Tri Bute hurried home, while he wiped that last bit of S.P.U.N.K. off of his lips.
“There goes that Tri Bute.”
“I heard he stopped taking off his future clothes and he’s finally getting that future surgery we got future years ago.”
Tri Bute of the future.
“I’m glad that he’s finally came around. You know, for a guy with only five future fingers, he gave a great future lap dance.”
“I’d future point and future laugh at him, but, I’m just kind of glad he has done it.”
Although he was expecting to hear future laughter, Tri Bute continued on towards his future home. His future heart didn’t miss a future beat.
Lives a future life that’s free.
“Butey! You’re future home! Can you feed the future seal? He’s hungry!”
“Sure thing, great grandmamma. Can I borrow the future car once I’m done?”
Tri Bute, Tri Bute,
“I don’t see why not.”
Tri Bute of the future.
Tri Bute took a future bucket of future fish out of the future refrigerator and took it out to the future seal out back. He snatched a future fish and called Fla Bby.
“Here girl! Ow!”
The overzealous future animal bit his future hand. That’s when the repressed memories started to come back. The future scratches, the future bruises, and the emotional future scars flooded into his future brain. He remembered the future animals in the future forest. He remembered the barring of their future teeth. It seemed the Swank Incident once again sailed into the future bunker like a future grenade. Tri Bute knew it was about to blow.
He dropped down on all fours, hoping to take the brunt of its putrid blast. However, the sound of a future fish being sucked into the future seal’s future mouth was enough to snap him out of it. Tri Bute gave Fla Bby a pat on the future head before he headed to the future car with the future keys and his future piggy bank in his five future fingered future hands.
Future friend to you and me,
This is it. I will no longer be an outcast. I will follow this future road in Mus Ician’s footsteps! I will join my future classmates in doing amazing things. I may have been a late bloomer, but I always had what it takes. Now I’ll finally have the future tools to show everyone else that there is no limit to mankind's endeavors. The future sky is the minimum.
Watch out for that future tree!
BOOM! CRASH! BOOM! SLAM! CRASH! RACRUSH! FUTURE EXPLOSION!
(OOC: Just one more!)
ISSUE #4 (Part 3)
The Future Seal: Cam Puss
Previously on ISSUE #4:
“Hilary Swank,”
“Maybe she should ‘act’ her way into a future paper bag.”
The emotional future scars never healed.
“I’ll give you kids a future hint. You can count the amount of future acorns on two future hands.”
“There are eleven future acorns,”
“Let’s future laugh and future point at him,”
“I’m all for doing it in a different order this time.”
“I guess I’m getting that future finger addification future surgery I wanted.”
“No,”
I want J.I.Z.Z.!
I’ll get a future job.
---
There weren’t many future jobs available for a 12 future year old kid out in Future Ryan, Future Oklahoma. Some future employers wouldn’t hire someone with five future fingers when they could hire someone with six future fingers. I didn’t let that stop me. I was determined to get that future finger addification future surgery. My future depended on it.
I wanted to do great things like Mus Ician. I wanted to create my own trampooning stylilistastic superclashracrashindo darrencriss of beautifulcosity. That really swag thing.
I felt like I still needed my future schooling.
“If this is what I have to do, I’ll do it,” Tri Bute told himself as he stepped toward the dusty future building.
Tri Bute didn’t look at the future signs or the future bouncers. He walked straight through the front future door and headed straight into the future office space. He happened upon a future man in a future suit. He had a lit future cigarette in one future hand and a stack of future dough in the other. By future dough I mean future money.
“A kid? What are you doing in here?”
Tri Bute slammed the future door behind him and future locked it. Tri Bute took a seat in an empty future chair and put his future feet up on the future desk.
“I need a future job.”
The future man put down the stack of future money he was counting and took a look at Tri Bute’s 12 future year old future body.
“I think you came to the wrong place, kid. Do you see the future animals out there? They don’t want to see some pasty, five future fingered future freak dancing on the future stage. They want to see future women. They want to see future women with future boobs.”
“I don’t see future animals out there. I see future dollar signs. I’m future money, sir, maybe not to those future men, but when I get there and future dance I will shock the entire future world.”
“I don’t believe you, kid. Aren’t you a little young to future dance exotically?”
“It’s Tri Bute, and I’m 12 future years old. I’m pretty much an adult.”
“Well, Butey, I like my future dancers with spirit. I need them to have a certain future aura of purity. They need to have uniformity. They need to live and breathe nitroxperimnicity. They need kationmicritaylorship. My future dancers are covered future head to future toe with S.P.U.N.K., unless you can prove to me you have that, you can make like a future tree and future leave. Do you hear me? If you can’t prove it to me you don’t have what it takes to future dance in front of those future animals out there.”
“Mr. Puss, I may not be covered with this S.P.U.N.K., but I’ve got something better. I’ve got justice, integrity, zankustility, and Zeusrion on my side, sir. I am walking J.I.Z.Z., Cam Puss. You can take the greatest piece of future meat to offer itself on a gronjagorium platter, or you can leave it. I’ll bring in more future animals than these future boobs ever could,” said Tri Bute, making sure to throw up air quotes around 'future boobs'.
“You got some future balls, kid. I like future balls, but you’re going to have prove it. You’re going to future dance right here. If I see this J.I.Z.Z. then maybe I’ll put you on that future stage.”
Cam Puss started the future music, so, Tri Bute future danced. Cam Puss was skeptical at first, but, it wasn’t long before the S.P.U.N.K. and the J.I.Z.Z. oozed out of Tri Bute and sprayed his future face. When Tri Bute removed his future boxer shorts Cam Puss stopped the future music.
“You’re in. You got the future talent, kid. Just don’t make me regret it.”
---
"Where's my future dough?"
"What? Why? No!"
“I’m out of here!”
“Where are you going?”
“The future hospital, now I’ll never have to future dance again!”
Cam Puss looked down at all the future money Tri Bute had made him during the past five future years. Deep down I’m sure he knew this future day would come. Fivers always went for future surgery at some point. But…
Tri Bute, Tri Bute,
This was his Fiver. This was his five future finger future freak. He reached down and pressed the future button under his future desk. He wouldn’t let him get away. Not this time. Tri Bute snacthed the last of his future wage off of Puss's future desk.
Tri Bute of the future.
The future door sealed and shut right as Tri Bute turned to exit.
“Wait, pussycat, doll face, darling, kid-,”
“I’m seventeen and a half future years old. I’m pretty much an adult.”
With his future fist Tri Bute clobbered Cam Puss knocking him into his future swivel chair and causing him to roll backwards into a future bookshelf. Future books rained down from the higher future shelves, burying Cam.
Strong as one can be.
Tri Bute flipped over Cam Puss’s future desk and hit the future button again to open the future door. He then left the future strip club with the hope that he’d never have to return.
“Six future finger addification future surgery, I’ve waited for your intoxicating allure for so long. I’ll return to future school. I’ll return to that glory I once knew. The age of S.P.U.N.K., one that has lasted for too long, will dissipate forever, because now J.I.Z.Z. is my future.”
Tri Bute, Tri Bute hurried home, while he wiped that last bit of S.P.U.N.K. off of his lips.
“There goes that Tri Bute.”
“I heard he stopped taking off his future clothes and he’s finally getting that future surgery we got future years ago.”
Tri Bute of the future.
“I’m glad that he’s finally came around. You know, for a guy with only five future fingers, he gave a great future lap dance.”
“I’d future point and future laugh at him, but, I’m just kind of glad he has done it.”
Although he was expecting to hear future laughter, Tri Bute continued on towards his future home. His future heart didn’t miss a future beat.
Lives a future life that’s free.
“Butey! You’re future home! Can you feed the future seal? He’s hungry!”
“Sure thing, great grandmamma. Can I borrow the future car once I’m done?”
Tri Bute, Tri Bute,
“I don’t see why not.”
Tri Bute of the future.
Tri Bute took a future bucket of future fish out of the future refrigerator and took it out to the future seal out back. He snatched a future fish and called Fla Bby.
“Here girl! Ow!”
The overzealous future animal bit his future hand. That’s when the repressed memories started to come back. The future scratches, the future bruises, and the emotional future scars flooded into his future brain. He remembered the future animals in the future forest. He remembered the barring of their future teeth. It seemed the Swank Incident once again sailed into the future bunker like a future grenade. Tri Bute knew it was about to blow.
He dropped down on all fours, hoping to take the brunt of its putrid blast. However, the sound of a future fish being sucked into the future seal’s future mouth was enough to snap him out of it. Tri Bute gave Fla Bby a pat on the future head before he headed to the future car with the future keys and his future piggy bank in his five future fingered future hands.
Future friend to you and me,
This is it. I will no longer be an outcast. I will follow this future road in Mus Ician’s footsteps! I will join my future classmates in doing amazing things. I may have been a late bloomer, but I always had what it takes. Now I’ll finally have the future tools to show everyone else that there is no limit to mankind's endeavors. The future sky is the minimum.
Watch out for that future tree!
BOOM! CRASH! BOOM! SLAM! CRASH! RACRUSH! FUTURE EXPLOSION!
(OOC: Just one more!)