07-18-2013, 12:16 PM
Andrew is shown sitting in a nineteenth century chair in a black tuxedo with a matching top hat on his head. A movie is playing on the television in the back ground, the show is only interrupted by the occasional chuckle coming from Andrew. Beside his chair sits a cup of tea and a plate of biscuits, which he momentarily reaches for, taking a sip out of the glass cup. As he places the cup back on the saucer he up into the camera.
"Oh I'm so sorry, I did not notice you all there, please have a seat I was just watching Mr. Bond get randy with a young lass on the tely."
He let's out another chuckle.
"And having some biscuits and tea, because that's what the stereotypical British man does."
He motions to the tea and biscuits.
"And since I'm such the stereotype according to some of the half wits around here, namely Mr. Lennox and Mr. Arzegotti, although there are others, I thought I might treat you all to some good English hospitality."
He reaches over to his tea and takes another sip, this time he clearly makes a disgusted face.
"God, this tea is just daft, you think the bloody Germans would have learned by now."
He shakes his head and returns his attention to the television.
"You know it feels good to enjoy a nice cup of tea and a plate full of biscuits on camera knowing that since I'm already accused of being a stereotype it's considered the norm."
He reaches over and takes another sip of his tea. This time, not even as soon as it touches his lips he immediately spits it back out at the camera.
"OH TO HELL WITH IT!"
He stands up, takes the cup and throws it off the wall, shattering it across the carpet, rips the top hat off his head and throws it to the ground as well, then rips attached the collar of the tuxedo, causing buttons to go flying in different directions.
"A BLOODY STEREOTYPE?!"
His anger seems to quickly pass and he sits back in the chair. He looks back to the camera and begins speaking in a menacing whispering tone.
"No, I'm not a stereotype, Luca of all people should be the last person to call anyone a stereotype, especially considering all the stereotypical things his king has done. Own a slave, who just happens to be black, very stereotypical. Having someone carry his bags for him, very stereotypical. So Luca you of all people should be able to come up with something more original than that, OR IS IT TOO STEREOTYPICAL OF ME TO THINK THAT?"
Once again he stops to calm himself down.
"Now Mr. Lennox, you're not a stereotype at all are you? No, the Canadians are a wonderful people, I have many Canadian friends and the majority of you are self less people with no ego about your country at all. You on the other hand, you're the totally opposite aren't you? You walk around like you're something special, as if people owe you something, well let me tell you now I don't owe you jack shit sir, The Connection barely doesn't even owe you the time of day we're going to use to send your Incredible people packing back to the four corners of the earth you all came from. Because Mr. Lennox, in case you missed history in school, or your civics classes, you would realize everything about your country exists because of my country. From the queen your criminals need a pardon from down to the idiots your people call a government, so before you going thinking any of us owe you anything maybe you should go back to your history books and do a little reading, if you're able, I mean we all saw your difficulty with counting so reading may be a lost cause on your part."
He leans back in his chair, apparently spent from his tirade. He waves towards the camera.
"OK that's all for today, shut the bloody camera off and get out twit."
The camera doesn't move for a moment.
"What the hell do you want a bloody parting gift? GET THE FUCK OUT YOU STUPID TWIT!"
The camera is shut off hurriedly and the screens cuts out.
"Oh I'm so sorry, I did not notice you all there, please have a seat I was just watching Mr. Bond get randy with a young lass on the tely."
He let's out another chuckle.
"And having some biscuits and tea, because that's what the stereotypical British man does."
He motions to the tea and biscuits.
"And since I'm such the stereotype according to some of the half wits around here, namely Mr. Lennox and Mr. Arzegotti, although there are others, I thought I might treat you all to some good English hospitality."
He reaches over to his tea and takes another sip, this time he clearly makes a disgusted face.
"God, this tea is just daft, you think the bloody Germans would have learned by now."
He shakes his head and returns his attention to the television.
"You know it feels good to enjoy a nice cup of tea and a plate full of biscuits on camera knowing that since I'm already accused of being a stereotype it's considered the norm."
He reaches over and takes another sip of his tea. This time, not even as soon as it touches his lips he immediately spits it back out at the camera.
"OH TO HELL WITH IT!"
He stands up, takes the cup and throws it off the wall, shattering it across the carpet, rips the top hat off his head and throws it to the ground as well, then rips attached the collar of the tuxedo, causing buttons to go flying in different directions.
"A BLOODY STEREOTYPE?!"
His anger seems to quickly pass and he sits back in the chair. He looks back to the camera and begins speaking in a menacing whispering tone.
"No, I'm not a stereotype, Luca of all people should be the last person to call anyone a stereotype, especially considering all the stereotypical things his king has done. Own a slave, who just happens to be black, very stereotypical. Having someone carry his bags for him, very stereotypical. So Luca you of all people should be able to come up with something more original than that, OR IS IT TOO STEREOTYPICAL OF ME TO THINK THAT?"
Once again he stops to calm himself down.
"Now Mr. Lennox, you're not a stereotype at all are you? No, the Canadians are a wonderful people, I have many Canadian friends and the majority of you are self less people with no ego about your country at all. You on the other hand, you're the totally opposite aren't you? You walk around like you're something special, as if people owe you something, well let me tell you now I don't owe you jack shit sir, The Connection barely doesn't even owe you the time of day we're going to use to send your Incredible people packing back to the four corners of the earth you all came from. Because Mr. Lennox, in case you missed history in school, or your civics classes, you would realize everything about your country exists because of my country. From the queen your criminals need a pardon from down to the idiots your people call a government, so before you going thinking any of us owe you anything maybe you should go back to your history books and do a little reading, if you're able, I mean we all saw your difficulty with counting so reading may be a lost cause on your part."
He leans back in his chair, apparently spent from his tirade. He waves towards the camera.
"OK that's all for today, shut the bloody camera off and get out twit."
The camera doesn't move for a moment.
"What the hell do you want a bloody parting gift? GET THE FUCK OUT YOU STUPID TWIT!"
The camera is shut off hurriedly and the screens cuts out.