06-20-2013, 10:43 PM
-Hunter Payne and Joy have just posted Historic Podcast number 10 online-
Payne: Hello everybody, and welcome to Podcast number 10! I am, the fastest rising star in the company today, Hunter Payne!
Joy: And I am, the best manager you can ever have, Joy Giovanni.
Payne: Wow 10 Podcast. And an extended and jampacked one today; as we look back on the last 9 Podcast and quote me for the first time, answer a few tweets, and it wouldn't be a Payne and Joy Podcast without insulting Jessie Diaz. But first, Joy will tell us about the prestigious European Championship that I will be winning in a matter of weeks. Joy?
Joy: The XWF European Championship. Was first held by a man named Karl Cross, however this was in the 'before-time' pre-Paul Heyman Era of Monday Madness. And not much is known about him or his reign because it was like sooo long ago! Other than he died, and the title would be vacated. Mark Flynn then held it before losing it to Neonero, the first person to hold the European Title in the Paul Heyman Era. From there the Europen Championship changed hands 5 times in 2013. Most recently CM Punk lost the Championship to Dean Moxley McGovern in a triple threat match, where he wasn't pinned. And now Hunter Payne is in the first qualifying match to compete for that same European Championship. And all he has to do, is beat the Seattle Slew, Jessie Diaz.
Payne: Yes, Thank you Crimson Cobra or Paul Heyman, whoever made the match, for righting the wronged. Now not only do I get to dismantle Diaz but at the same time secure a spot in the huge 6 pack challenge match on July 13th, that will be contested inside a Hell in a Cell! Jessie Diaz, make no mistake about it, me beating you Monday is actually doing you a favor. You said it yourself, "things are going way too fast". The truth is that it is going way too fast for you, you are not ready for a match like a Hell in the Cell. So if you wanted to shake my hand and say 'thank you for getting me out of this mess' after I beat you next Monday, I'm all for it. You said last Monday wasn't a fluke, but the fact is, It really was. And like I said last Podcast, I WILL NOT let it happen again! Last time I wasn't aware of how sneaky and conniving you can be, Now I know! This Monday I'm ready for your trickery, This Monday I'm ready to be a number one contender, This Monday I'm ready to bring the Payne!
Joy: That is very nice and PG of you Hunter... But that ugly bitch called me a whore, sooo... Fuck her! We saw your last promo, at first I said 'who cares if Jess is in some Cabin In The Woods bullshit', and then it hit me, I know what that whole thing was Jessie...... The intro to your next pornographic. Let me guess, next scene it turns out his gun was a dick, and your gonna suck it. Until his friends come back, so you can suck their dicks too! You'll call it "Jessie does Hillbillies in the Woods". But you are right about one thing; I don't know what goes on in your sexual disease-ridden head. Nor do I want to! You have some serious issues going on in that head of yours. I just hope that your ready as well, because Hunter Payne is going to defeat you, and there is nothing you, or these XWF guys that want to ride on your syphilis-infected cock, can do about it!
Payne: Are you done?
Joy: Hmmm...nope! I can't wait till Hunter returns you to the depths of obscurity you came from! After Monday do us a favor and just fucking disappear! Not just from us, but the entire XWF! You are so lucky I am retired from competing in the ring, otherwise, I'd kick your ass myself! I hope you get to watch this Podcast after your little porn shoot, and realize we are right, and you have no business being in a wrestling ring. But if you fail to realize it before Monday, Hunter Payne is just going to have to show you!
Payne: And on that note, I think it's time we answer some tweets from Podcast fans... Alrighty, @Dashing67 asks, " This Podcast show is very amusing, and fun to watch your quips and humor. That being said, who are your favorite comedians?"
Joy: Eddie Griffin.
Payne: I actually have a lot. Kevin Hart is one of the best I can think of right now. I can't wait till his next Stand-up special. Chris Rock has always been a favorite, George Lopez, Ralphie May is another one. But nobody has done it for me quite like Dave Chappelle. Whether it was sketch comedy or stand-up he's just a guy that can make anything funny.
Joy: Ok, @Jon_A316 asks "Love the Podcast Idea, How did you come up with it?" Well, It was all Hunter's idea so care to answer?
Payne: Kevin Smith. He's actually another funny guy I should have mentioned in the last question. He's Silent Bob in Clerks, Mallrats, and a bunch of others for those of you who don't know. But I love his podcasts. And one day I said "I can do that" so I did. And it worked out pretty well I think.
Joy: I don't like this next one...
Payne: Hahaha, @the_don18 asks "Even though the Pain and Joy oxymoron works and you guys are good combination. If Joy wasn't there, would you have another manager or would you be solo?" Haha. I actually have always wanted to work with Melina Perez of WWE fame.
Joy: WHAT?!
Payne: I'm Joking! Relax Joy. Everybody knows that nobody matches Hunter Payne better than Joy Giovanni, and I wouldn't have it any other way. But I think that's it for answering tweets. Ok so as you viewers know, we like to quote others on this Podcast, but since we are officially in the double-digits of this Podcast. I did something really special and went through the last nine Podcast and picked the best quote out of each Podcast. Starting with Podcast #1 our pilot. Joy will you do the privilege of reading the quote?
Joy: No. Why don't you get Melina to do it!
Payne: Oh boy, here we go. I was joking! Just read the damn quote Joy!
Joy: Fine. "I'd like to pause from this game for a second to say that we would have made flashcards for the rookie opponents... But, nobody cares about them."
Payne: Ahh yes, that was the infamous quote that started this little feud with Jessie Diaz. I thought it was pretty funny, especially considering we haven't heard from two of the four rookies since then, so in a way, I was right. Next quote?
Joy: ...
Payne: Fine be like that, this was from Podcast #2. This Podcast was mainly focused on Matt Lennox and so is the quote "But you did mention something to me that was so shocking! I had to Google it myself to make sure you weren't fucking with me.... Hey Joy? Did you know Canada actually has an army?!! When I heard Lennox say that I was like 'Shut up, no you fucking don't', but sure enough they do. Because Google says so."
Joy: Ok I remember when you said that, it was pretty funny.
Payne: Ok, Podcast #3, Dedicated to; the Seattle slew, Which was funny because it was a little cute rhyme, and Joy comes up with the titles for these Podcasts if you guys didn't know. Speaking of Joy, This quote is actually from you to the Seattle slew Jessie Diaz. "So if your thing is being a whiny emo bitch with personality issues, then your doing it right. Congrats your the first rookie in this match to get our attention, and that's not a good thing. The only reason guys hit on you, is because I'm not there. When compared to me, your a just another... guy. You think being a guy-hating whiny emo bitch is original? That's almost half the XWF roster. But, you mentioned backing out of the match. Please do! Save yourself the embarrassment and humiliation. Please don't give up your fear of flying. Try again, this time off of a cliff!"
Joy: Awww! I was quoted?! Thank you! :D
Payne: Surprise! Hey, It was an awesome series of insults. You deserve it. Can you read the quote from Podcast #4 the Battle Royal please?
Joy: Ok... this was a response to me saying you hadn't made fun of anybody in the Podcast then you said, "There's nobody to poke fun at yet! Joy just this week alone we have made a mockery of a Canadian and his pet ape, an old Falcon guy, an alien, and you told a women of ill repute to end it all... Uhh I think we can have at least one podcast where we're not making somebody go to sleep crying in the fetal position."
Payne: And that was probably the only Podcast since, where we haven't made somebody cry in the fetal position. Ok, now Podcast #5, Today we profile; the old and senile. Again thank Joy for the catchy title.
Joy: And this was a quote from you calling Sean Falcon old. "Nobody has time to wait that long for you! At this rate maybe you'll be a great World champion one day... In the year 2089, competing for the Hulk Hogan's Wrestling Federation for old men that don't know when to call it quits... If your still alive you old fucking dirt-bag."
Payne: I think the runner-up for that Podcast was pretty funny as well, Matt Lennox was talking about getting a barbed wire bat out of his locker, then I said 'What kind of Cactus Jack-ass carries a barbed wire bat with him', referring to the legendary Cactus Jack.
Joy: Podcast #6 You were distrought about that rapist John Black tagged himself in and cost you a sure victory, "No, It didn't happen because...... because of that son of a bitch John "The Rapist" Black!... Black, You screwed me! And what happened because you tagged in? I bitch slapped you like the bitch you are!"
Payne: And Podcast #7, that was the one with Archie Lawson as a special guest. And I said to my future opponent Swift Ion, who likes to go on twitter and hashtag his catchphrase #Too Damn Swift, So I said "Hashtag# Too Damn Swift, allow me to introduce myself. I am Hashtag# Too Damn Good! And It's Hashtag# Too Damn Bad, that your going to be spending some time in a Somalian Prison after I beat you... But hey I mean if Batman can escape it, well then you........... have no fucking chance, sorry."
Joy: Ok for Podcast #8, Let us rattle those in the Royal Battle, we have a tie. First to Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson, " And I love how everybody talks about 'The Toothfairy' as the worst thing you've done. No, my niece loved that movie. No no no, The worst thing you've done by far, are your XWF promos!" and the next was to the Legend brothers "The Legends are the prime example that money can buy anything!..... Except talent."
Payne: Hahaha. And our last Podcast, The Seattle Slew; Part two. That also rhymes. I said, "So Jessica I suggest you get that dick out of your mouth for a second and pay real close attention. You are not winning next Monday Madness. I am going to beat you worse than your abusive parents did when you were a child. I am going to hit you harder than your Seattle rain hits your depression. I am going to frustrate you more than the Seattle Seahawks do every year!"
Joy: I can actually picture her taking the dick out of her mouth to pay attention to what you had to say. Awesome quotes.
Payne: Yes, It has been a lot of fun making these 10 Podcast at the expense of others, as we will continue to do for the foreseeable future. But remember everybody; any publicity, is good publicity. This has been Podcasts in review. I am Hunter Payne and she is Joy Giovanni saying...
Joy: I am NOT Melina Perez! :(
Payne: Nope, your the amazing Joy Giovanni, and despite all the bad remarks wrestlers give you, I bet any of them would kill to have you their corner. But your not, your in mine, and that is why your better than Melina or anybody else you can think of. Like I said before, I am Hunter Payne and she is Joy Giovanni saying...
Joy: Payne and the Amazing Joy out! ;) ;) ;)
-Podcast ends-
Payne: Hello everybody, and welcome to Podcast number 10! I am, the fastest rising star in the company today, Hunter Payne!
Joy: And I am, the best manager you can ever have, Joy Giovanni.
Payne: Wow 10 Podcast. And an extended and jampacked one today; as we look back on the last 9 Podcast and quote me for the first time, answer a few tweets, and it wouldn't be a Payne and Joy Podcast without insulting Jessie Diaz. But first, Joy will tell us about the prestigious European Championship that I will be winning in a matter of weeks. Joy?
Joy: The XWF European Championship. Was first held by a man named Karl Cross, however this was in the 'before-time' pre-Paul Heyman Era of Monday Madness. And not much is known about him or his reign because it was like sooo long ago! Other than he died, and the title would be vacated. Mark Flynn then held it before losing it to Neonero, the first person to hold the European Title in the Paul Heyman Era. From there the Europen Championship changed hands 5 times in 2013. Most recently CM Punk lost the Championship to Dean Moxley McGovern in a triple threat match, where he wasn't pinned. And now Hunter Payne is in the first qualifying match to compete for that same European Championship. And all he has to do, is beat the Seattle Slew, Jessie Diaz.
Payne: Yes, Thank you Crimson Cobra or Paul Heyman, whoever made the match, for righting the wronged. Now not only do I get to dismantle Diaz but at the same time secure a spot in the huge 6 pack challenge match on July 13th, that will be contested inside a Hell in a Cell! Jessie Diaz, make no mistake about it, me beating you Monday is actually doing you a favor. You said it yourself, "things are going way too fast". The truth is that it is going way too fast for you, you are not ready for a match like a Hell in the Cell. So if you wanted to shake my hand and say 'thank you for getting me out of this mess' after I beat you next Monday, I'm all for it. You said last Monday wasn't a fluke, but the fact is, It really was. And like I said last Podcast, I WILL NOT let it happen again! Last time I wasn't aware of how sneaky and conniving you can be, Now I know! This Monday I'm ready for your trickery, This Monday I'm ready to be a number one contender, This Monday I'm ready to bring the Payne!
Joy: That is very nice and PG of you Hunter... But that ugly bitch called me a whore, sooo... Fuck her! We saw your last promo, at first I said 'who cares if Jess is in some Cabin In The Woods bullshit', and then it hit me, I know what that whole thing was Jessie...... The intro to your next pornographic. Let me guess, next scene it turns out his gun was a dick, and your gonna suck it. Until his friends come back, so you can suck their dicks too! You'll call it "Jessie does Hillbillies in the Woods". But you are right about one thing; I don't know what goes on in your sexual disease-ridden head. Nor do I want to! You have some serious issues going on in that head of yours. I just hope that your ready as well, because Hunter Payne is going to defeat you, and there is nothing you, or these XWF guys that want to ride on your syphilis-infected cock, can do about it!
Payne: Are you done?
Joy: Hmmm...nope! I can't wait till Hunter returns you to the depths of obscurity you came from! After Monday do us a favor and just fucking disappear! Not just from us, but the entire XWF! You are so lucky I am retired from competing in the ring, otherwise, I'd kick your ass myself! I hope you get to watch this Podcast after your little porn shoot, and realize we are right, and you have no business being in a wrestling ring. But if you fail to realize it before Monday, Hunter Payne is just going to have to show you!
Payne: And on that note, I think it's time we answer some tweets from Podcast fans... Alrighty, @Dashing67 asks, " This Podcast show is very amusing, and fun to watch your quips and humor. That being said, who are your favorite comedians?"
Joy: Eddie Griffin.
Payne: I actually have a lot. Kevin Hart is one of the best I can think of right now. I can't wait till his next Stand-up special. Chris Rock has always been a favorite, George Lopez, Ralphie May is another one. But nobody has done it for me quite like Dave Chappelle. Whether it was sketch comedy or stand-up he's just a guy that can make anything funny.
Joy: Ok, @Jon_A316 asks "Love the Podcast Idea, How did you come up with it?" Well, It was all Hunter's idea so care to answer?
Payne: Kevin Smith. He's actually another funny guy I should have mentioned in the last question. He's Silent Bob in Clerks, Mallrats, and a bunch of others for those of you who don't know. But I love his podcasts. And one day I said "I can do that" so I did. And it worked out pretty well I think.
Joy: I don't like this next one...
Payne: Hahaha, @the_don18 asks "Even though the Pain and Joy oxymoron works and you guys are good combination. If Joy wasn't there, would you have another manager or would you be solo?" Haha. I actually have always wanted to work with Melina Perez of WWE fame.
Joy: WHAT?!
Payne: I'm Joking! Relax Joy. Everybody knows that nobody matches Hunter Payne better than Joy Giovanni, and I wouldn't have it any other way. But I think that's it for answering tweets. Ok so as you viewers know, we like to quote others on this Podcast, but since we are officially in the double-digits of this Podcast. I did something really special and went through the last nine Podcast and picked the best quote out of each Podcast. Starting with Podcast #1 our pilot. Joy will you do the privilege of reading the quote?
Joy: No. Why don't you get Melina to do it!
Payne: Oh boy, here we go. I was joking! Just read the damn quote Joy!
Joy: Fine. "I'd like to pause from this game for a second to say that we would have made flashcards for the rookie opponents... But, nobody cares about them."
Payne: Ahh yes, that was the infamous quote that started this little feud with Jessie Diaz. I thought it was pretty funny, especially considering we haven't heard from two of the four rookies since then, so in a way, I was right. Next quote?
Joy: ...
Payne: Fine be like that, this was from Podcast #2. This Podcast was mainly focused on Matt Lennox and so is the quote "But you did mention something to me that was so shocking! I had to Google it myself to make sure you weren't fucking with me.... Hey Joy? Did you know Canada actually has an army?!! When I heard Lennox say that I was like 'Shut up, no you fucking don't', but sure enough they do. Because Google says so."
Joy: Ok I remember when you said that, it was pretty funny.
Payne: Ok, Podcast #3, Dedicated to; the Seattle slew, Which was funny because it was a little cute rhyme, and Joy comes up with the titles for these Podcasts if you guys didn't know. Speaking of Joy, This quote is actually from you to the Seattle slew Jessie Diaz. "So if your thing is being a whiny emo bitch with personality issues, then your doing it right. Congrats your the first rookie in this match to get our attention, and that's not a good thing. The only reason guys hit on you, is because I'm not there. When compared to me, your a just another... guy. You think being a guy-hating whiny emo bitch is original? That's almost half the XWF roster. But, you mentioned backing out of the match. Please do! Save yourself the embarrassment and humiliation. Please don't give up your fear of flying. Try again, this time off of a cliff!"
Joy: Awww! I was quoted?! Thank you! :D
Payne: Surprise! Hey, It was an awesome series of insults. You deserve it. Can you read the quote from Podcast #4 the Battle Royal please?
Joy: Ok... this was a response to me saying you hadn't made fun of anybody in the Podcast then you said, "There's nobody to poke fun at yet! Joy just this week alone we have made a mockery of a Canadian and his pet ape, an old Falcon guy, an alien, and you told a women of ill repute to end it all... Uhh I think we can have at least one podcast where we're not making somebody go to sleep crying in the fetal position."
Payne: And that was probably the only Podcast since, where we haven't made somebody cry in the fetal position. Ok, now Podcast #5, Today we profile; the old and senile. Again thank Joy for the catchy title.
Joy: And this was a quote from you calling Sean Falcon old. "Nobody has time to wait that long for you! At this rate maybe you'll be a great World champion one day... In the year 2089, competing for the Hulk Hogan's Wrestling Federation for old men that don't know when to call it quits... If your still alive you old fucking dirt-bag."
Payne: I think the runner-up for that Podcast was pretty funny as well, Matt Lennox was talking about getting a barbed wire bat out of his locker, then I said 'What kind of Cactus Jack-ass carries a barbed wire bat with him', referring to the legendary Cactus Jack.
Joy: Podcast #6 You were distrought about that rapist John Black tagged himself in and cost you a sure victory, "No, It didn't happen because...... because of that son of a bitch John "The Rapist" Black!... Black, You screwed me! And what happened because you tagged in? I bitch slapped you like the bitch you are!"
Payne: And Podcast #7, that was the one with Archie Lawson as a special guest. And I said to my future opponent Swift Ion, who likes to go on twitter and hashtag his catchphrase #Too Damn Swift, So I said "Hashtag# Too Damn Swift, allow me to introduce myself. I am Hashtag# Too Damn Good! And It's Hashtag# Too Damn Bad, that your going to be spending some time in a Somalian Prison after I beat you... But hey I mean if Batman can escape it, well then you........... have no fucking chance, sorry."
Joy: Ok for Podcast #8, Let us rattle those in the Royal Battle, we have a tie. First to Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson, " And I love how everybody talks about 'The Toothfairy' as the worst thing you've done. No, my niece loved that movie. No no no, The worst thing you've done by far, are your XWF promos!" and the next was to the Legend brothers "The Legends are the prime example that money can buy anything!..... Except talent."
Payne: Hahaha. And our last Podcast, The Seattle Slew; Part two. That also rhymes. I said, "So Jessica I suggest you get that dick out of your mouth for a second and pay real close attention. You are not winning next Monday Madness. I am going to beat you worse than your abusive parents did when you were a child. I am going to hit you harder than your Seattle rain hits your depression. I am going to frustrate you more than the Seattle Seahawks do every year!"
Joy: I can actually picture her taking the dick out of her mouth to pay attention to what you had to say. Awesome quotes.
Payne: Yes, It has been a lot of fun making these 10 Podcast at the expense of others, as we will continue to do for the foreseeable future. But remember everybody; any publicity, is good publicity. This has been Podcasts in review. I am Hunter Payne and she is Joy Giovanni saying...
Joy: I am NOT Melina Perez! :(
Payne: Nope, your the amazing Joy Giovanni, and despite all the bad remarks wrestlers give you, I bet any of them would kill to have you their corner. But your not, your in mine, and that is why your better than Melina or anybody else you can think of. Like I said before, I am Hunter Payne and she is Joy Giovanni saying...
Joy: Payne and the Amazing Joy out! ;) ;) ;)
-Podcast ends-