06-19-2013, 01:06 AM
-The 9th installment of the Payne and Joy Podcast starts off a bit different...-
Payne:...
Joy:....
Payne:....
Joy:.....
Payne:...Are you still mad at me about the whole going to Somalia alone thing?
Joy: ...Yep, are you still mad about losing to a woman Monday night?
Payne: Very. But she was no ordinary woman! I seen her up close... She had a fucking mustache Joy! Ewww.
Joy: Forget about her manly emo slutty tendencies for a minute. You lost! She beat you in the middle of the ring... one...two...three...
Payne: WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR POINT JOY?!!!
Joy: My point is you got pinned. But not just by anybody, but by the Seattle Slew of the XWF! You know your first mistake? Your first mistake was not letting Lightning pin her. What the hell! It didn't matter who eliminated her, as long as the bitch was eliminated!
Payne: I know....
Joy: You know your second mistake! Yes, there was more than one everybody! Your second mistake was you got cocky! You saw Jessie Diaz was the only competitor left and you underestimated her!
Payne: I know.......
Joy: And your third mistake! Your third mistake is the worst! You stopped wrestling her because you thought you 'hurt her'... Really? Is she a fucking Oscar-winning actress Hunter? How the hell did you think you hurt her?! And even if you did hurt that Succubus, what fucking difference does it make?! Your fucking here specifically to hurt people remember?!
Payne: I KNOW!!!
Joy: What we saw out there, That's not the Hunter Payne we're all used to seeing... what happened??
Payne: Well...
Joy: It doesn't matter what happened Hunter! You let that fucking Medusa get inside your head, that's what happened... It must have been our argument after our last podcast, it must have distracted you from the match. That's the only way my brain can rationalize what I saw Monday night! OMG! You.......
Payne: JOY!!! On behalf of everybody watching, shut up please! Just shut up for a second... and take a deep breath with me.....Now............ Hello everybody welcome to The Payne and Joy Podcast, I am Hunter Payne, and that was Joy Giovanni. And as you can tell we aren't exactly on the same page at the moment...
Joy: Yeah, you're on the 'I lose wrestling matches to women' page.
Payne: Ok, fine, you want to act like this, let's start the actual Podcast talking about why Joy is acting like this everybody....
Joy: Because you lost... to a hairy female apparently.
Payne: No, for those of you who saw our last Podcast, Podcast number 8, We ended the Podcast with me breaking the news to Joy that she will not be accompanying me to the Saturday Shove It event in Somalia, because... well because it's in Somalia. It's extremely dangerous out there and I'm making the call to not bring Joy. And she has been pissed at me ever since.
Joy: I'm going...
Payne: No you're not!
Joy: Yes I am...
Payne: Joy, you...are...NOT...going... that's it. end of discussion.
Joy: No it is NOT the end of discussion! I don't get it. You know I'm going to end up going with you, why do you insist on arguing about it, when eventually you will say 'fine Joy, you can come' and then we wouldn't have spent this whole time arguing about something I'm doing with your permission or without it...
Payne: Why? Why you do want to go? I'm trying to protect you. I'm trying to keep you from getting hurt.
Joy: Yeah, what happened to the last female you thought you 'hurt'? Jessie Diaz? Yeah, She ended up pinning you, that's what happened. Remember? Remember??
Payne: Shut up Joy!!! Fuck, Right now, not only do I want to take you, I want to use you as a fucking human shield!
Joy: Sooooo, I can go then??? :D
Payne: NO!!!!!
Joy: Ooh come on! Ok, say for argument sake, everybody competing HAD TO bring a manager to wrestle. Then would you bring me???
Payne: I guess if I had to. Then yes I would.
Joy: Yay! I can go!!! You said it! No take backs! I'll play it back later if you try to argue with me!
Payne: Fuck! My head hurts. Thanks a lot Joy. Fuck.
Joy: Your welcome babe. It's called persistence. Now I think we should finally talk about your match next Monday against Jessie Diaz for a spot in the European title match on July 13th.
Payne: Son of a bitch! from one headache to another... I need an aspirin...
Joy: I don't think the headache that is Jessie Diaz, is going away anytime soon. Even after our very popular Podcast number 3. I thought that the Seattle Slew would have gotten the hint and left the company. But nope! you have to be as stubborn as the diseases you give the men that you sleep with, and just never go away! No matter how much we want you to! Viewers, did you know, that I have a little insomnia from time to time and a Jessie Diaz promo helps me because it puts me to sleep in no time! And as I was dozing off because to how boring you are, I noticed you mentioned that we are hypocrites, because one Podcast I told you to kill yourself and another Hunter said he "wishes you guys the best of luck", Diaz nothing about that was hypocritical. you just misunderstood. See, your stupid on top of being a slut and an emotional bitch. See when Hunter Payne said "guys" you assumed it was a general term meaning 'all of you'. No, He literately meant the 'guys' in the match. And you are not a guy Jessie Diaz. No matter how much you want to be. Sorry. Feeling better Hunter?
Payne: A little bit... Jessie Diaz... You pinned me. No excuses. Let me say, congrats. Enjoy it, because that WILL NEVER happen again! I made some mistakes the first time around... Like, Breaking up the pin that should have eliminated you. And forgetting that a rat is most deadliest when it's cornered... make that a slutty rat, with fleas from the black plague living on her. Oh and I stopped kicking your ass because I thought you were legitimately hurt... Yeah, none of that is happening again come Monday. If... No scratch that... When you get hurt this time... I'm not going to stop, I'm going to beat the shit out of you so badly, that a nosy roommate is going to be the least of your fucking problems! This part is really important, So Jessica I suggest you get that dick out of your mouth for a second and pay real close attention. You not winning next Monday Madness. I am going to beat you worse than your abusive parents did when you were a child. I am going to hit you harder than your Seattle rain hits your depression. I am going to frustrate you more than the Seattle Seahawks do every year!
Joy: Oh! what would you call that Jessie? A burn? BURN!
Payne: I can't wait for you next promo, I bet that's the first time you've heard that Jessie, but, I just can't wait to hear your next Bitch Fit about us. I bet it will sound something like...
Joy: -mocks Jessie Diaz's voice- So Hunter Payne and Joy just made fun of me... again... except this time they had there own drama. And ugh I didn't like that because, they didn't talk about me enough! God, ugh I hate my roomate... ugh I'm gonna go cut my wrist, then write about it in my diary... ugh It's raining again, I'm going to write that in my diary... ugh I should shave before my match, but I won't... Wait, have I been saying all this in my head or out loud? Shit!...
Payne: Joy Giovanni everybody. Take a bow, what a performance!
Joy: Thank you. That performance wouldn't have been possible without the slut that we all know as Jessie Diaz!
Payne: I think that is all the time we have for this Podcast today. It was a rocky start but I think it went pretty well overall.
Joy: I agree.
Payne: Well everybody this has been the Payne and Joy Podcast. I am Hunter Payne, and she is Joy Giovanni saying...
Joy:..........
Payne: Well...
Joy: Well... can I go to Somalia with you for sure? Please????????
Payne: Fine Joy! You can come........ Aww Fuck! I said that exactly like you said I would earlier, Son of a Bitch!
Joy: Hahahaha, I told ya! ;)
Payne: Just sign us off please....
Joy: Okie-Dokie... Payne and Joy out! ;)
-Podcast ends-
Payne:...
Joy:....
Payne:....
Joy:.....
Payne:...Are you still mad at me about the whole going to Somalia alone thing?
Joy: ...Yep, are you still mad about losing to a woman Monday night?
Payne: Very. But she was no ordinary woman! I seen her up close... She had a fucking mustache Joy! Ewww.
Joy: Forget about her manly emo slutty tendencies for a minute. You lost! She beat you in the middle of the ring... one...two...three...
Payne: WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR POINT JOY?!!!
Joy: My point is you got pinned. But not just by anybody, but by the Seattle Slew of the XWF! You know your first mistake? Your first mistake was not letting Lightning pin her. What the hell! It didn't matter who eliminated her, as long as the bitch was eliminated!
Payne: I know....
Joy: You know your second mistake! Yes, there was more than one everybody! Your second mistake was you got cocky! You saw Jessie Diaz was the only competitor left and you underestimated her!
Payne: I know.......
Joy: And your third mistake! Your third mistake is the worst! You stopped wrestling her because you thought you 'hurt her'... Really? Is she a fucking Oscar-winning actress Hunter? How the hell did you think you hurt her?! And even if you did hurt that Succubus, what fucking difference does it make?! Your fucking here specifically to hurt people remember?!
Payne: I KNOW!!!
Joy: What we saw out there, That's not the Hunter Payne we're all used to seeing... what happened??
Payne: Well...
Joy: It doesn't matter what happened Hunter! You let that fucking Medusa get inside your head, that's what happened... It must have been our argument after our last podcast, it must have distracted you from the match. That's the only way my brain can rationalize what I saw Monday night! OMG! You.......
Payne: JOY!!! On behalf of everybody watching, shut up please! Just shut up for a second... and take a deep breath with me.....Now............ Hello everybody welcome to The Payne and Joy Podcast, I am Hunter Payne, and that was Joy Giovanni. And as you can tell we aren't exactly on the same page at the moment...
Joy: Yeah, you're on the 'I lose wrestling matches to women' page.
Payne: Ok, fine, you want to act like this, let's start the actual Podcast talking about why Joy is acting like this everybody....
Joy: Because you lost... to a hairy female apparently.
Payne: No, for those of you who saw our last Podcast, Podcast number 8, We ended the Podcast with me breaking the news to Joy that she will not be accompanying me to the Saturday Shove It event in Somalia, because... well because it's in Somalia. It's extremely dangerous out there and I'm making the call to not bring Joy. And she has been pissed at me ever since.
Joy: I'm going...
Payne: No you're not!
Joy: Yes I am...
Payne: Joy, you...are...NOT...going... that's it. end of discussion.
Joy: No it is NOT the end of discussion! I don't get it. You know I'm going to end up going with you, why do you insist on arguing about it, when eventually you will say 'fine Joy, you can come' and then we wouldn't have spent this whole time arguing about something I'm doing with your permission or without it...
Payne: Why? Why you do want to go? I'm trying to protect you. I'm trying to keep you from getting hurt.
Joy: Yeah, what happened to the last female you thought you 'hurt'? Jessie Diaz? Yeah, She ended up pinning you, that's what happened. Remember? Remember??
Payne: Shut up Joy!!! Fuck, Right now, not only do I want to take you, I want to use you as a fucking human shield!
Joy: Sooooo, I can go then??? :D
Payne: NO!!!!!
Joy: Ooh come on! Ok, say for argument sake, everybody competing HAD TO bring a manager to wrestle. Then would you bring me???
Payne: I guess if I had to. Then yes I would.
Joy: Yay! I can go!!! You said it! No take backs! I'll play it back later if you try to argue with me!
Payne: Fuck! My head hurts. Thanks a lot Joy. Fuck.
Joy: Your welcome babe. It's called persistence. Now I think we should finally talk about your match next Monday against Jessie Diaz for a spot in the European title match on July 13th.
Payne: Son of a bitch! from one headache to another... I need an aspirin...
Joy: I don't think the headache that is Jessie Diaz, is going away anytime soon. Even after our very popular Podcast number 3. I thought that the Seattle Slew would have gotten the hint and left the company. But nope! you have to be as stubborn as the diseases you give the men that you sleep with, and just never go away! No matter how much we want you to! Viewers, did you know, that I have a little insomnia from time to time and a Jessie Diaz promo helps me because it puts me to sleep in no time! And as I was dozing off because to how boring you are, I noticed you mentioned that we are hypocrites, because one Podcast I told you to kill yourself and another Hunter said he "wishes you guys the best of luck", Diaz nothing about that was hypocritical. you just misunderstood. See, your stupid on top of being a slut and an emotional bitch. See when Hunter Payne said "guys" you assumed it was a general term meaning 'all of you'. No, He literately meant the 'guys' in the match. And you are not a guy Jessie Diaz. No matter how much you want to be. Sorry. Feeling better Hunter?
Payne: A little bit... Jessie Diaz... You pinned me. No excuses. Let me say, congrats. Enjoy it, because that WILL NEVER happen again! I made some mistakes the first time around... Like, Breaking up the pin that should have eliminated you. And forgetting that a rat is most deadliest when it's cornered... make that a slutty rat, with fleas from the black plague living on her. Oh and I stopped kicking your ass because I thought you were legitimately hurt... Yeah, none of that is happening again come Monday. If... No scratch that... When you get hurt this time... I'm not going to stop, I'm going to beat the shit out of you so badly, that a nosy roommate is going to be the least of your fucking problems! This part is really important, So Jessica I suggest you get that dick out of your mouth for a second and pay real close attention. You not winning next Monday Madness. I am going to beat you worse than your abusive parents did when you were a child. I am going to hit you harder than your Seattle rain hits your depression. I am going to frustrate you more than the Seattle Seahawks do every year!
Joy: Oh! what would you call that Jessie? A burn? BURN!
Payne: I can't wait for you next promo, I bet that's the first time you've heard that Jessie, but, I just can't wait to hear your next Bitch Fit about us. I bet it will sound something like...
Joy: -mocks Jessie Diaz's voice- So Hunter Payne and Joy just made fun of me... again... except this time they had there own drama. And ugh I didn't like that because, they didn't talk about me enough! God, ugh I hate my roomate... ugh I'm gonna go cut my wrist, then write about it in my diary... ugh It's raining again, I'm going to write that in my diary... ugh I should shave before my match, but I won't... Wait, have I been saying all this in my head or out loud? Shit!...
Payne: Joy Giovanni everybody. Take a bow, what a performance!
Joy: Thank you. That performance wouldn't have been possible without the slut that we all know as Jessie Diaz!
Payne: I think that is all the time we have for this Podcast today. It was a rocky start but I think it went pretty well overall.
Joy: I agree.
Payne: Well everybody this has been the Payne and Joy Podcast. I am Hunter Payne, and she is Joy Giovanni saying...
Joy:..........
Payne: Well...
Joy: Well... can I go to Somalia with you for sure? Please????????
Payne: Fine Joy! You can come........ Aww Fuck! I said that exactly like you said I would earlier, Son of a Bitch!
Joy: Hahahaha, I told ya! ;)
Payne: Just sign us off please....
Joy: Okie-Dokie... Payne and Joy out! ;)
-Podcast ends-