X-treme Wrestling Federation

"... I've been reminded of something my mum said to me a long time. If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all."

"..."

"..."

"Er..."

"..."

"... Fuck that, chew on a thousands pricks. Suck the rear end of a disease ridden rat and just die in a ditch like the whore you are."

"Fuck you."

"You are a dumb mother fucker."

"Oh wait, I say that too much don't I? At least it's not on the same level as your gay jokes, if I would count the amount of times you said or other gay shit if I could be arsed but I bet you said more gay jokes than I called you . But, something changed in your latest promo. You calmed down on the gay jokes straight after I said you say them too much, right after I said you do the same old shit in every promo, you try and stop doing it. In my first promo, I predicted what you would say and you avoided saying everything I predicted, you avoided it so obviously it was sad to watch. But after I say, you say the same old shit, in classic angry child fashion you said 'no you.' You say I do the same old shit. Haha, even if that is true at least what I say works. Look at you! You're running out of shit to say so badly you're going after the GMs!"

"You insult your bosses you fucking moron. Yes, House, Oaktree and MacClay haven't been here as long as you, that is true but they are still higher up than you are and they always will be. I've been here a shorter time than you, but I'm still better than you. Which actually leads me to another point, in one of your promos, I forget which one they all kind of blend together. But you said you won more matches than me. I don't know if that's true honestly, you try and hide all your wins really, sure I could go through all the shows you're involved in and watch them to see if you win but I do not have time for that grueling torture. But even if you did win more than me, that is because you have been here longer than me. It's the same reason why you have lost more matches than me, also it's because you fucking suck. I do love that logic though, I have won more matches because I have been here longer. It's like me saying Jacob is the best name ever because I've had it for a really long time."

"It's funny really, the only thing you're grasping at right now is the steroids thing. Calling me a liar again, even though I had GMs there to witness and I showed the results to the camera. Results which included Anabolic steroids. It said it on the fucking results, Ozymandias read it out loud, open your fucking ears you dumb shit. This whole rampage is pointless because you didn't fucking listen. Also, who said I used the company card to pay for that test? Who said I paid to fly the GMs out to Boston? No one said that shit. I paid with my own money. Also, Massachusetts General Hospital, 55 Fruit Street. A whole lot of trouble could have been saved there if you just fucking asked. But look at you, crying to Shane and Maddy because I proved you wrong yet again. Being the little bitch you always are because you don't have shit on me. The whole promo you did with Maddy testing piss in a toilet is so fucking dumb too, it just shows how desperate you really are. The only thing you're trying to attack me with is showing how idiotic you truly are."

"Also, you never figured out my joke, you straight up ignored it. Actually, everything that hasn't involved roids you've ignored. Is that how we're going to play things now? We only go after what is convenient. Pfft, okay. Let's roll part of Morbid's promo than."

Morbi goes to Hollywood Said:Hit me
Hit me with those laser beams

I'm coming
I'm coming-yeah

Relax don't do it
When you want to go to it
Relax don't do it
When you want to come

Morbfellas Said:You mean, let me understand this cause, ya know maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?

Actually Morbid Angel Said:"He is trying to hide Anabolic Steroid abuse by having them look for the wrong thing! Clever! BUT NOT CLEAVER ENOUGH!"

"Pffft Hahahaha. C'mon dude, this is like the third or fourth time you've fucked up a word. Understand why I call you an idiot all the time now? You're right, I am not CLEAVER enough, I don't even know what that means. But I am not trying to hide Anabolic steroids, again, just fucking listen you dick."

"I understand what you're trying to do by the way, with the one gratuitous travel scene blah blah blah. But there's a way to do that and poke fun at your opponent but still be clever, or CLEAVER in your case without just straight up copying. Which is what you are doing right now. Stop copying me Morbid, you sack of used butt plugs. What else did you say? ... Oh right the time thing. You know Morbid, this may come as a shock but sometimes I don't record a promo and release it right away, there is sometimes editing to do and the uploading process can take some time. Sometimes people pre-record stuff and use it later on. I'm pretty sure that is self-explanatory but if you want to grasp at straws, sure, you go ahead and grasp."

"Moving on, I want to call you on your bullshit. Again. You said you wrote a book. Bullshit. Read it to me. I have the time, read me the entire book. I want to hear every single word come out of your mouth, no brief summary, no skipping parts, the entire book. Read it and prove that you are not lying. Or do what you do best and just ignore this request like a bitch. And if I find out that book of yours is nothing more than some pamphlet, I'm going to break your goddamn knees."

"You said you killed a man once. Bullshit. Prove it, find me the criminal record you have for killing this man, then show me this man's autopsy report. Then go out and kill another person to prove you didn't fabricate the evidence. If you don't do this you're full of shit and everyone will know it."

"You say your name is Morbid Angel. Bullshit, prove it. How do we know your real ring name isn't Princess Handjob? Recreate your signing up session with Shane with pin point accuracy. If you don't your a fucking cunt who doesn't even belong here."

"You have never said you don't touch children. I bet you have a whole Catholic choir in your basement, just go down there in the early hours of the morning and just play Wipeout on those poor children's asses. Wanna prove me wrong? Too bad, you can't. You touch kids. Everyone knows about it you fucking liar. And your tiny pecker. John Madison said he saw it in the locker room and it looked like a mouse's nose, Samuels backed him up on it."

"You see my point now? You're a fucking liar. I joke about shit, but at least I'm obvious when I take the piss, you actually believe what you're spewing. You are a husk of your former self. A piece of shit. A scumbag. A cunt. A twat. A . A pedophile. A no dick having loser. A joke. A dickhead who can't defend a belt to save his life. What was the last match you won? On your own. Was it with your made up friend? Was that the last match you won? Because if so that is fucking embarrassing. You are a fucking embarrassment. I never thought I could think less of a whiny bitch like you. But right now, I am ranking you lower than anyone I have ever faced. I'm being deadly serious you overly obese cocksucker. You, are a fucking joke. You bitch and you moan and you try and be a big name, you keep trying and trying and for a brief moment it looks like you've peaked. You get what you want and you think you've hit the high of your career, the only difference is, your peak is a slight incline for the rest of us. Then you inevitably lose and you cry and you lie to try and save face but everyone sees you for what you are. A fucking joke. Your last match was a joke, the one before with me was a one minute defeat, the one before that was what? You getting thrown into an iron maiden was it? Or was it you beating a failed team at War Games? But you had a shit ton of help in that match. Haha, I actually don't care. I just feeling nothing towards you anymore. That ticked off I was feeling before has disappeared and gone back to general disinterest."

"I'm going to take a break for a minute, because I can. Scarlett!?"

One last gratuitous sex scene later

"Indeed. Well probably. Anyway, in Toronto I will beat the shit out of Morbid and win the Universal championship. I'm pretty sure the reasons are clear. Angel has shouted about the same things over and over, fuck after I post this promo I expect to see the same old shit with a different title. Yelling about steroids as if I care anymore, yelling that I'm a liar as if there's a point anymore. Because let's face it, even if I did use roids I would still win. I would be juiced up, bulging out of my suit angry that my balls are shriveled up, but I'd still win. But, I'm regular old me, and I'm still going to win. History basically proves that, I'm on a winning streak right now and Morbid will not be able to stop that. Not with his losing streak stinking up the place. So, Angel. You fucking nobody. Don't get too sad when I take the belt away and beat you to death with it, it's just the natural course of life is all. The strong dominate the weak, and you are so fucking weak it's funny."

"Hilarious in fact."

"Fuck you. Can't wait to punch the blackheads off your nose tomorrow."