02-20-2015, 11:33 PM
*Gator sits in a chair, looking at the camera.He begins to speak but stops himself, he takes a moment and begins*
"What the fuck was that?"
"Like seriously, what the fuck was that?"
"Why?"
"How?"
"What."
"The."
"Fuck?"
"I know you are a certified moron but what the fuck? You go onto The Graham Norton show, and instead of talking like a normal human being or even answer questions or oh I dunno, talk shit about your opponent. You talk about your life, kinda. A little. And then hahaha, you bring up steroids again! Hahahaha!!! Oh fuck, I love it! In my last promo I predict what you were going to bring up, but silly me forgot about steroids! So, to make it seem like I got you all wrong you clearly avoid what I predicted and go on yet another long winded rant about fucking roids! Morbid, I don't use fucking steroids. Get over it. You know what fuck it."
*Gator gets up from his chair and walks off camera. The footage transitions to Gator sat on a hospital bed in a small room, a plaster on the inside of his arm, he looks to Todd holding the camera*
"I am here at Massachusetts General Hospital and a hour or two ago, I gave some blood and piss for a test to see if I am positive for use of steroids."
*Todd pans the camera as Gator to a line of people as he lists off their names*
"Here with me I have Ozymandias, Gabrielle House, Matthew Oaktree, Kirk MacClay and Miranda Tigris. Shane was busy shoving potatoes up his ass or something and Fuck Heyman."
*The camera goes back to Gator*
"They are here to look at the results of my tests and say if I am in fact using steroids or any other performance enhancing drugs."
*A door opens and a middle aged doctor walks into the room holding a clipboard*
DOCTOR: "Good morning Mr. Woods, we have your results here."
"Doctor, doctor give me the news. I've got a bad case of loving you!"
*The doctor looks over his glasses*
DOCTOR: "Never gets old."
MATTHEW OAKTREE: "Can we get this over with, me, House and Ozymandias have a game of golf to get to."
"Who the fuck even are you?"
MATTHEW OAKTREE: "You watch your mouth!"
"Or what?"
MATTHEW OAKTREE: "Or I'm going to force you into a match with Johnathon Heartsford every time you come on Warfare."
"You don't have the balls!"
OZYMANDIAS: "Gentleman, calm yourselves."
DOCTOR: "If I may, Mr. Woods we looked over your blood and urine samples and we could not find any trace of steroids of any kind."
"Sweet, mind if I see those?"
DOCTOR: "Be my guest."
*The doctor hands the clipboard to Gator who takes it and looks at the results, a smile forms under his mask and he shows the paper to the camera which focusing on the word 'negative'. Gator pulls the clipboard away and hands it to Ozymandias*
"Mind telling the good people watching about my results Oz?"
OZYMANDIAS: "The following test of corticosteroids and anabolic in the patient was concluded as negative. No trace was found in the blood or urine. But we did find some trace of Lysergic acid diethylamide? Gator."
"This was for steroids, acid doesn't count. Oaktree?"
*Oaktree takes the clipboard, House also looks at it*
MATTHEW OAKTREE: " Blah blah blah.. Yeah you're clean. House?"
GABRIELLE HOUSE: "Yup, clean for steroids at least."
*Oaktree passes the clipboard to Miranda Tigris but Kirk MacClay snatches it and reads the paper*
KIRK MACCLAY: "You're all full of shit! He tested positive!"
OZYMANDIAS: "Don't be an asshole Kirk."
KIRK MACCLAY: "Fine. He tested negative. Dicks."
*Tigris takes the clipboard away from Kirk and reads it*
MIRANDA TIGRIS: "... Negative. Are we finished?"
*Tigris hands the clipboard back to the doctor*
"Yeah we're good, thank you."
*The footage transitions back to Gator's chair, empty. After a few seconds Gator walks onto the scene smoking a cigarette and takes his seat*
"Done! The funny thing is though, after that proof Morbid is still going to call bullshit. After all that shit I had to go through, Morbid will still say. NO! You're a liar, because facts don't mean a thing to a
. He said he proved me wrong in his last piece of shit, but I have no idea how. He just accused me, said some shit about steroids and nothing else. Dude is full of shit. It's tough you know, trying to talk sense to a brick wall that is crumbling. But whatever. He's going to cry and yell and make himself look even more stupid, prick's basically doing my job for me.""Moving on. Morbid went on the Graham Norton show, apparently. Now, for those who don't know, the Graham Norton show is a popular interview comedy show in Britain. Celebrities come on, they talk about their new movie a band plays, they play some stupid games with the audience, jokes are shared, laughter is had. Now, here is the thing that proves Angel is full of shit. One, Norton never, and I mean never, does one on one interviews. He has at least three people on his couch which he takes an allotted amount of time to talk too, the moves down the line and they all interact, they all share stories. Morbid was there on his own. So there is one reason I'm calling bullshit. Two, Norton said I had a day named after me, which is kinda awesome actually. Morbid doesn't have a day in Russia does he? Actually, let me check that."
*Gator pulls a phone out of his pocket and starts to tap on the screen*
"I've been to Russia once before, for the Mini Gauntlet on Warfare. I met a few fans and other cool people, the guy who was the manager at the hotel me and Todd stayed at was a cool guy, we shot the shit for a while over a couple of drinks and he gave me his number. Said next time I'm in Moscow, give him a call and he'll hook me up. So, let's give him a call shall we?"
*The dial tone sounds from the phone as Gator enjoys his cigarette, a thick Russian accent is heard through the phone*
"Здравствуйте?"
"Artyom! What's up man, it's Gator."
".. Gator! Hello friend good to hear from you. You in Moscow?"
"Sadly not, just needed to ask you a question. Is there a Morbid Angel day in Russia?"
"Who?"
"Morbid Angel."
"Sorry Gator. Never heard of the man."
"Haha, better answer than I expected. Thanks man, we'll talk soon."
"Okay friend. Goodbye."
*Gator taps on the screen on puts the phone back in his pocket*
"Well, my day may sound stupid and made up, but at least I have one. Unless you want to prove you were lying and say the interview with Norton was fake, but hey man. That's up to you. The next point is this one."
Graham Norton? Said:Mate...
...he insulted our country's GayGay day in horour of Gayta.
"Not only did this guy fuck up the word 'honour' he also said 'mate' and 'our country.' Morbid, did you know Graham Norton is Irish? Irish people aren't really known to say mate, especially the very flamboyant Graham Norton, it's more of an English term. Two, he would never say 'our country' he would say Britain, or England. But not 'our country.' It's these fuck ups that make me think you are
. And a hypocrite, but it makes me happy how you're proving me right. It's beautiful in fact. You hired an actor and you set up this fake show and you did nothing with it! Hahahahaha!! That is so fucking funny. You could have done so much! You could have buried me with shit talk, you could have had Graham say I was a fucking loser and hated in Britain, that I'm some asshole who went to Japan because he thought he was too big to wrestle the indies in England. You could have made me look like a fucking scumbag! But instead, we get a bit of backstory about Morbid that a lot of people already know, another steroid rant and of all things, gay jokes. From a guy who was going to kiss me when I brushed back his hair and told him I kicked his ass in the ring. See why I was so fucking confused at the start of this promo? Just saying what the fuck over and over and over and over. It's because you created a situation where you could have made me look like the worst person in the world. But you didn't. You fucked up your one and only chance, because you are so fucking . It's incredible, really.""Hahahaha.... Maybe you should hire a new ghost writer Morbid. Because you are seriously lacking without him. But enough of this stupid fucking interview, breaking news! Morbid talked shit!"
Morbid Angel Said:Gator we can't seem to get out of each other's ways. I know, you obviously have the hots for me and considering that you went all out with that trash piece with some garbage that's over a month old tells me you are grasping for something worth a shit.
"We can get out of each others way a fucking lot actually. It's been a while since we've seen or conversed with one another. And another gay joke! That shit never gets old, gotta love the classics right Morbs? And grasping at shit over a month old, it's the only thing I had to work with and you never responded technically so yeah. I brought it up.Fuck you that's why. And straight off the bat your bring up that fake name, Supernova this time instead of Azrael. Again, never heard of him,so I am the longest reigning TV champ, and soon I'll be the Uni champ! That's going to be sweet."
"Do I find it odd that I beat you so quickly and easily? ... No. Not at all really, you're a fucking pushover and I already talked about this in my last promo. So it's either, I beat you easily or you threw the match, you claim that you never give up and always do your best but you threw a match. That's it. Those are your only options. You can make as many excuses as you want, but when we faced off you wanted my belt and don't fucking deny it, I remember what you said. But you are a fucking piece of shit who will deny everything, won't tell the truth because you're a delusional old bitch who can't cut it in this business anymore, a lazy fucking asshole who would rather take month long breaks and return to action for a week or two before bailing like a bitch again. And shut up, I know what you're going to say and I honestly don't care."
"Fuck you, I'm stuck on shit a month ago. Says the cunt stuck in the past. I had a long winning streak once! Victory forever! What now that Morbid Angel is falling down the drain, that shit doesn't matter! I was important once! Fuck you! Hahaha.. I know I can't hold two belts at once, bye bye TV title, we've had a good run, but I simply cannot allow you to hold the Uni Morbid, seriously. And then you talk about how everybody wants a piece of the prize and it's not easy holding the Uni title. No shit. I've held a belt most of my XWF career, I know every asshole under the sun wants to take your prize. No need to remind me you dumb fuck."
Oh Morb Gerd Said:I know I cashed in for the title this time and know that before I actually won this bitch off one of the most feared men in the wrestling world, Azrael!
"Who?"
Mon Angie Said:cashed in the second time because Theo Pryce wouldn't give me a rematch
"Bullshit. I never saw you ask for one. And you weren't within your rights to demand a rematch, Theo cashed in on Eli who could have gotten a rematch whenever he wanted but didn't. But you, you never earned a match with Theo, you never deserved a match with Theo. You didn't prove yourself, and Theo was so fucking sick and tired of you he never deemed you worthy enough to have a match with you. He's already beaten you twice I think? One more win over you wouldn't make a difference to him. So you cashed in on him and yelled victory forever and ran away. Like Steve Davids did. Yeah, saying Davids did the same thing you did is no fucking excuse, if I was ever compared to that bitch I would be conflicted on who to shoot in the head, myself or the prick saying that. I'm fairly certain Theo actually defended the belt too. So that thirty day glory card don't mean shit."
Micro Appendage Said:I took advantage of the situation considering I've been trying to fave Samuels for the better part of a year and he has dodged me because he knows I would fuck him 4 ways from Sunday
"Fave? The fuck? Haha you idiot. And bullshit again. I'm just calling bullshit on him dodging you, any money it was the other way around. And then you insult me! How dare you. The man who has fucked up your team more than any other, Hysteria being the exception. The guy who beat you! You insult. For shame. So, listen up you hairy, sweaty failure of a man. Learn to respect the people who are clearly better than you. I don't think you can get it through your thick skull that you. A fucking worm. A mindless peon that makes gay and hygiene jokes like a toddler who watched some shitty show on Cartoon Network for the first time. A fucking loser who lies and fabricates stories to make himself look impressive but has never showed it. A worthless cunt who isn't fit to look me in the eyes. Learn your fucking place. Because you're just going to build yourself up only to get knocked down like the sad child you really are. Then, Knight. By god I would have fucking loved to face anyone else apart from Knight. We fought three times too many, I'll admit that. None of those matches I asked for by the way. He bought his shot the first time we faced, second MacClay gave me a shot. Third MacClay gave him a shot, fourth Ozy gave him a shot. And I won every single time as expected, but by fucking god I hope I never have to face that guy again. But, at least he had the stones to fight Jesus Christ instead of hurl insults at him and never challenge him. Like you did. You fucking pussy."
Wow, you are a stupid cunt Said:I have an idea, how about you face other people that might actually be a challenge to you instead of facing bottom feeders.
"You mean like how I gave you a shot last month? Or D'Ville, or Lane the man who has beaten you before. Don't call the kettle black you stupid fucking pot. When I beat you, I don't know who I'm going to face next. I'll let the GMs decide. Who were you going to face? No one? Have a match and if you win, take a month off or is this list you're making the guys who you were going to fight? Oh, and you put Tank in there. You fucking asshole! He's in your team and you insult him too! Wow Morbid, that is fucking low. Haha, maybe Defiance doesn't have to do any work, sounds like Angel is going to fuck over his own team."
"Wow, really trying to nail this I fought Knight thing in the head. I faced more guys you know and from the sound of things this is the only bullet you have in the chamber. This is going to be a long fucking day if this is the only thing you can fucking muster up. I know, I beat Knight four fucking times. I got bored of it too. Hence why I'm facing you now, so I can beat you for the second time and hopefully go after people worth a damn, I'm fucking tired of facing the same pool of people. But, when you hold the TV title, that is what fucking happens. But, here's what you're failing to notice. The TV title is a rope tied around my neck, it's a nice rope, one I'm proud to have for so long, but when someone cuts that rope I'm going to sprint and bury my teeth around the neck of the dog with a better rope. And I will fucking rip and tear and I will kill that dog. And I will take it's rope, and I will tighten that around my neck, and any fucker stupid enough to try and cut that rope will die. The TV title was good while it lasted, but I'm here for your belt, AerialKnight the Second."
*Gator looks at the transcript to Morbid's promo and enjoys his cigarette for a moment while reading ahead*
"You actually don't say anything new or worth note after going after Gilmour for no real reason.. Oh shit. You're going after Pete right now because on the off chance you win you want him as your next opponent! Haha I fucking gotcha bitch! What other reason would someone bring up another guy like that? Bullshit you just had to say it, fuck Peter, you're in a match with me you senile old fuck. You're trying to set up a match with someone you named off in your list before! Hahahaha!! Wow, you fucking scumbag."
"Also, since I have to remind you Peter isn't in this match. Neither are corVus and Sane. I don't trash talk your Asylum buddies, stay on track man. It's not that hard right?"
What? Said:Oh shit! I guess he was real this entire fucking time!?!? HOLY SHIT! I am such a fucking liar! Look at my big fat hairy lies getting all up in your fucking face.
"Who's real?"
Mamma Mia! Here we go again Said:Truth is Gator, I am going to fuck you!
"Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! This is getting super old fast, I asked you to be good this time and by god you are sucking worse than last time. Seriously, people at home, look at Angel's promo, did you notice a pattern? Gay joke, Uni title history lesson, gay joke, Knight, gay joke, Knight, gay joke Azrael, gay joke. By fucking god. You said the same old shit like I knew you would and tried to pass me off as a liar, when you're lying all the fucking time. Your catchphrase is a fucking lie. And you have a fucking catchphrase! What even are you? Fuck, I'm so done. Just, shut up and think before you say another long drawn out speech of gibberish. You call me a liar, I prove you are a liar. Every. Single. Time. You must be getting bored of being knocked down like this too right? So, please. Get your head out of your widened asshole and think. Also, you never figured out that inside joke I told you. I know you're an idiot but it can't take that long for you to fuck up and get it wrong right? Anyway, I'm off. See you at your humiliation fucker."
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