X-treme Wrestling Federation

"ROUND THREE!!!!!!"


*Gator stands in a meat freezer with Rodd and Todd. Gator is wearing a large, warm coat while Rodd and Tod are in jeans and a t-shirt. Todd wearing a beanie as usual. Both men try to warm themselves up, jogging in place, rubbing there exposed skin, so on. A man with black and white face paint stands in the doorway of the meat locker*

"Right. Being an XWF cameraman means you need to learn how to endure a lot of hardship. To test how much abuse you can take before you crack, you will be locked inside this freezer. First one to leave, loses. Any questions?"

T: "Who's the dude behind you?"

*Gator looks back at the man staring into the freezer*

"That's corVus."

*Gator looks back at Rodd and Todd*

"Never mind him right now. Best of luck."

*Gator walks out of the freezer and corVus closes the door on the two men. Gator stops outside the door beside corVus*

"I just realised they're both Canadian. They could be in there for a while... Oh well, c'mon man I'll buy you a beer."

*Gator walks down the hall and corVus follows, strolling behind. We go back to the freezer where both cameramen stand across from each other, shivering*

T: "You're going down man. brr. I'm from Montreal! You know how cold it gets there?"

R: "I am from Ottawa you fool. I am sure it is colder there than it is in your big, fancy city."

T: "Ottawa sucks!"

R: "Montréal sucks!"

...

T: "So, how are you?"

R: "Why are you making small talk?"

T: "To distract me from how fucking cold it is."

R: "Heh..... I'm okay. Doctors are worried about my weight."

T: "Yeah. I almost got to that point. I know diets suck but, you should at least try."

R: "I blame all this American food."

T: "Dude! Me too! McDonalds is like crack or something."

R: "I agree. It is there fault, that and the advertising."

T: "Ugh, tell me about it... So, er, have you been a cameraman long?"

R: "Oui. I have been creating art since I was fifteen."

T: "Really?"

R: "I made short arthouse noir films."

T: "Of course you did."

R: "My favourite of which was when I followed a man named Julian Frost. He believed he was a vampire and he was really, really cool."

T: "He believed he was a vampire?"

R: "Oui. He never hurt anyone. Julian told me his gift has been passed down his family for five generations. I followed him as he tried to find a place on this Earth, and a chance to get into heaven."

T: "... No offence but that sounds terrible."

R: "Oh does it now?Well maybe you should make your own arthouse noir film since you are so much better than I am. Pfft, you know, I had a bad feeling about you ever since I saw you!"

T: "Woooooooah chill out! No pun intended."

R: "Sorry. I'm hungry."

T: "Me too."

R: "Hey, why are we doing this?"

T: "What do you mean?"

R: "We could both leave at the same time. Why should we play along with this game? We are grown men!"

T: "... You're right! We shouldn't take this from Gator! Screw that guy!"

R: "Exactly! We deserve more respect! We make him look good!"

T: "Fuck yeah we do! Let's get out of here."

*Rodd nods and the pair walk to the door, knocking on it loudly*

R: "We both stand out at the same time okay? As soon as Gator opens the door. Deal?"

*Rodd extends his hand*

T: "Deal!"

*Todd and Rodd shake as the door slowly opens, Gator stands there holding a beer. corVus leaning on the wall behind him, staring*

"... Who loses then?"

T: "Gator we've dec-"

*Rodd pushes Todd out of the door into the hallway, Gator lifts his beer out of the way of a falling Todd*

"Haha, Rodd, you sneaky bastard.... Rodd wins!"


*Todd falls to his knees in defeat as Rodd joins Gator*

T: "No... I can't, I can't lose... No!"

R: "Tough break mon petite fleur. Now Gator, I believe we have some filming to do."

T: "You mother fucker..."

"It's not over yet."

*Todd gets to his feet and Rodd turns to Gator*

T: "It's not!" R: "WHAT!?"

"It's not over yet. There's one more round."

R: "But-but."

T: "Even numbers of course. Gator I love how crazy you are."

"And I love the way you lie Todd. Right, final round. And possibly a tie breaker next. Let's go!"

*The scene fades to black*


"Are Bobby and Mazzy really worth mentioning at this point? Honestly, it just seems like they're filler in this match. I don't care about them, you guys watching don't care about them, so let's just skip over them for now and focus on the meat."

Dumb bitch Said:I never knew that one person was so stupid that they needed notes to memorize an entire promo.

"... You do realise the notes are of your promo right? I look at them and then I say something about what you said. I honestly can't memorize your entire promo, that's some autism, rain man level shit. Do you memorize my entire promo? Do I really have that much of an impact on your life? Because honestly, I watch one of yours, write down what you said or the main points anyway, read them, think of a response and film it. Then I put the notes in the bin and completely forget what you said to me. What's next? Oh, another Deadpool reference. How smart of you to pick up on the fact my outfit is similar to Deadpools Knight. Why, I think you're the one thousandth person to make that connection! Shame we don't have any balloons or a Misogynist Military GI Joe to give to you. Seriously, think of something more fucking creative! Or don't, fuck it who cares anymore!? Everyone knows you have zero chance of keeping the belt, so carry on with the Deadpool shit and be another moron that lost against me who couldn't think of any other way to insult me. You've literally gone down the list of 'How To Trash Talk Gator.'"

"Name is an animal so make animal analogies and metaphors? Check."

"Looks like Deadpool? Check."

"Daddy issues? Check."

"He has a cameraman. Might as well make fun of him too even though it won't matter in the slightest. Check."

"Er, shit, running low on ideas here. Insult his girlfriend? Check."

" 'Did you follow the previous suggestions on how to trash talk Gator?' Why yes, yes you did. 'Very good, it was all for naught. Be prepared to lose to Gator at the correct time and place.' Oh well fuck a duck. According to this book Knight you done goofed! Idiot...... Oh, don't make the Deadpool comparisons anymore by the way, for your own sake. You see, I may look like a character from a comic book, I'm actually going to be a stunt double in the Deadpool movie. Cool right? I know. But, word around the street is you look like Ashton Kutcher. I don't see it myself but I would just hate to be compared to Ashton Kutcher. You know, if I was that fucking childish to put up some videos of Kutcher acting like a moron and saying it was you, that'd be embarrassing right? Whew. Good thing I'm not a fucking child and can think, unlike you, you dumb piece of shit."

Dumb Bitch Said:It's all just a game to you, isn't it, Jacob?

"... Duh."

Dumb bitch Said:It must be if you're treating opponents as nothing more than pawns in an endless game where nobody can win.

"Nooooo. Snakes and Ladders. Remember? Come on, keep up Knight! For someone who can apparently memorize an entire promo you sure forget a fuck ton of shit. And no, I don't flip the board when I'm bored. I win. It's just that easy to me. Also, we've been through this, I don't know why your getting so upset about this Knight, I really don't. You know I'm better than you, you know how this game works, but you want me to stop saying I'm better than you. No! You stupid cunt, why don't you stop acting like a douchebag, why don't you just stop trying. Maybe then, I'll stop saying how much better I am than you. You shut up, I'll shut up. It's that easy Knight. Next?"

"You talk about Bobby. Whilst in the middle of talking to me!? Have you know fucking class Knight!? Pfft. That's like stopping a face to face conversation because you have to talk to some prick on the phone."

Dumb Bitch Said:"Poor animal. Got hunted down by a couple of young men in Louisiana in the nineteen hundreds after they managed to corner it against a rock wall.

"Haha, what? You do realise I'm not a real alligator right? Hold up, do you? That's got me thinking now. You're nickname or moniker, I don't know, is Aerial Knight, so you think you act like a Knight even though you clearly do not. John, just because my ring name is Gator, doesn't mean I'm a real Gator. Okay buddy? So, showing me a dead alligator, isn't actually going to scare me. I get what you're going for. But it doesn't hold any weight. You moron..... You don't think anyone in this match would be low enough to corner me? Yeah, that'd be tough in a small square with four corners now wouldn't it. Whatever, I fucking love this line."

Dumb bitch Said:Not only am I a misogynist, I'm also a man of honor

"Hahahaha ..... Do I need to say anything about this? Really? Oh god, hahaha. Huh, I've had fun this week. I really have. Next on the list, you believe every shred of talent I had went through the belt and passed to you. Mother fucker this is not Space Jam! If you had even an inch of my talent it would have made you one hundred times better than you are. Think of it this way, I am a Caesar Salad ... Strangely not the first time I said that .... Anyway, I am a Caesar Salad, you are a bowl of leaves trying to cover up a dead bird. A finely cut leaf of Romaine lettuce from me is put in your bowl, and suddenly! You're appetizing, you look good, people want you! But, under that finely cut leaf of Romaine lettuce lies disappoint, the real you. The failure. The piece of shit that you truly are. And once the chef realises he made a mistake by putting that finely cut leaf of Romaine lettuce in you bowl, instead of on me, everyone will remember just how shit you really are."

"Ah, the fatal five way. I'm a sore loser because I threw you out of the ring? What? Are you serious right now? I'm a sore loser because I stopped a pin attempt? Fuck you! Hahaaha, what the hell kind of backwards ass logic is that!? By god you are a dumb mother fucker. Oh the shit thing too, haha, that was funny. Fun fact shit for brains! You see this thing I'm wearing on my head? It's called a mask. This thing is damn high quality, not a speck of shit got inside this mask. I actually made zero skin contact with the crap whatsoever. Plus, I got my own back on Frodo in a bigger, better way. Just remember that in case you act like more of a in this match and try anything stupid."

"Hm. That was a good line there actually. The saying more shit than I swallowed, the dragon and homeless guy stuff. I liked it. Seriously Knight well done, A for effort. Why the fuck can't you talk like that all the time? I liked this bit, but the rest, by god. It just outweighs this bronze you have here. Get better. Do better. Stop letting everyone down!"

Dumb Bitch Said:Confidence trumps arrogance, Jacob.

"Did you just burn yourself? Because I'm confident, I'm super fucking confident about winning this thing. You're the arrogant one for thinking you can stop me. Coming at me with this false bravado, thinking you're being threatening when you're really just nothing to me. But, the show must go on. So the animal metaphors come into play again... Yeah. This shit, does not work in your favour. Hey! Knight! Remember all those medieval stories Knight? Remember how castle had moats around them to stop other knights from entering. Remember the stories of alligators being in those moats, Knight? Hahahaha, you fucked up. You went to a castle on your own, thinking you are hot shit because a jester pretending to be a king gave you a new title. So you went down to some castle, trying to show off, thinking you're better than you actually are, your cockiness and your arrogance lead you face first into a moat. And you can't get to the surface no matter how hard you try, that heavy armor is weighing you down, making you sink to the floor of the moat. You panic, you're lungs struggle to keep in air, your lips tremble and if things couldn't get any worse. There's a fucking gator in the water."

"Well, we all know gators are strong. And you, O' fair Knight, are too heavy to move well in the water. So you stand there, deep in the mud as water fills your lungs and a gator rips apart your armor and tears off your flesh.... I hope you finally see now, anything you can do, I can do better. I basically created everything you try to copy at this point. So, shut the fuck up Knight, and let's just get this week over with."