X-treme Wrestling Federation

*Todd sits in his on the couch watching TV, he seems comfortable but jolts up when he hears the front door open and slam shut, Gator walks into the living room holding a plastic bag*

T: "Hey."

"Hi."

*Gator continues watching the TV as he passes through the living room to go into the kitchen*

T: "What's the bag?"

"Porn."

T: "Why do you have a bag full of porn?"

*Gator stops and his head turns to an angle while he ponders*

"I dunno."

*Gator throws the bag into the kitchen and removes his coat, throwing over a chair as he joins Todd on the couch*

T: "Where have you been? You've been gone for a while."

"I went to Morbid's place."

T: "Didn't know you guys were friends."

"I don't think we are. I kicked him in the balls."

T: "What!? Why?"

"He asked me too."

*Todd shakes his head and the pair continue to watch TV*

T: "You in the King of the Ring tournament?"

"Yup. Fighting two nobodies in the first round. Then probably D'Ville again. Do you know what really sucks?"

T: "What?"

"There's something like twenty four guys in this goddamn thing and I could face any one of them, so I have to sit through promos from these fucking guys just to make sure I tell them who the fucking champ is. Shit, do the math, if each one of these fuckers, not including me, does one promo a day that's over 160 promos by the end of the week! Ain't nobody got time for that! There is only three people I want to watch because they entertain me. D'Ville, Sane and Santos."

T: "I didn't know you watched Santos' old promos."

"Of course I did, do you take me for a fucking idiot who doesn't research my opponents? I'm not Frodo."

T: "Simon did that, not Frodo."

"They're exactly the same. Hey, what a nice surprise that Frodo is back when there is something on the line, it's almost like this shit was planned. I hope Santos gets off his lazy ass and knocks him out of the tournament, I really don't want to deal with Frodo again. And no, not because I'm scared but because I already beat his clone every step of the way in the trash talk game and I don't really have the energy to do it again."

T: "You pissed off because you lost at War Games?"

"Nah, wasn't my fault Zeke has AIDs and got himself pinned. I did everything I could, I was better than their entire team but unfortunately I couldn't pick up my teams slack. You can make the strongest Ox pull the wagon but it doesn't help get you further when the other fat, lazy Oxen are sat in the wagon too."

T: "So, you just hate your team now?"

"No, I don't hate them. I just feel a little let down by them you know? Vinnie's still cool, he actually tried but McBride, Zeke and Mazzy... Fuck em."

T: "I get it. So, you seen Scarlett yet?"

"Yeah, at the weekend. Didn't you realise I was gone?"

T: "Yeah but I just thought you were getting drunk or something."

"Well, I got a little drunk with her. But yeah, it was nice we talked and shit, no more beating up evil exes, when I fly to New Zealand it would be nice to tell her first, all that petty nagging stuff, but we're sorted now."

T: "Well, that's good to hear."

*Todd clicks the remote and switches to the XWF channel*

"The way I see things going is me going through up against D'Ville, now I beat him once already but it was a close match and we've been waiting for another match together. D'Ville's good but he's not as good as me, I already proved that to the world. His nonsense psychological crap didn't work last time and it won't work this time. But, he's good, either one of us could go through. On the other ends we've got Sane, Kessler, Frodo and Iceman going through. If Santos isn't a lazy asshole again and actually decides to do something of worth, he'll go through, if not then it'll be Zeke. The triple threat with the three kids could go either way, no one will care and they'll get crushed and I won't have to face any of them."

"Sane will go through with no trouble and Frodo will kick ten shades of shit out of Iceman, Frodo is a fucking moron so he'll be too over confident and not realise Sane is an actual threat, so Sane will get the upper hand and knock him out of the tourney. Kessler will get knocked out by Santos but Kessler will knock out Zeke, so we'll have to wait and see if Santos will do anything this week. So, if I beat D'Ville, it's me up against Zeke or Santos. Both these guys I've got beef with, Zeke cost us the match at War Games and Santos was the previous TV champ so either way I'm happy beating the shit out of any one of them. Then, if I get through the third match, it's me against Sane. I need to win this one, not just for that glorious crown but because he's in the Five Way for the TV belt. If I can get him out of the way early, maybe I can break him down for our actual match."

T: "Pretty smart."

"I'm not just a pretty mask, Todd."


*Gator sits in front of the camera smoking*

"Okay, so we've all got a busy week ahead of us so let's break this fucking thing down nice and easy, Frodo's already talked like a mother fucker as usual but we'll get to him in a minute. My first match is against Anti-Freeze and some other guy, now these two rookies have done a whole lot of fuck all and if they actually think that they stand a chance of getting out of the first match still walking they're either dreaming or mentally handicapped. Fuck, I could literally grab one of them by the leg and repeatedly beat the shit out of the other like he was a pinata. How much time should I waste on these nobodies? Seriously!? I appreciate the General Managers and Shane giving me a rest for my first match so I'm full of energy to take on D'Ville and the rest, but this is the only thing I'm going to say. You two, in my match, don't speak, don't mutter a sentence and don't even try to attempt a comeback, you're only going to make things harder for yourselves. If you give up now without trying than everyone will know that you laid down without a fight and nobody will expect anything else from you, but! If you try to fight back, you will still lose to me, and you will lose even harder and everyone will laugh at the fact that you tried your hardest to stop me but still failed, and you will be forgotten and you will leave the XWF with your balls in your bindle and no one will care."

"After I wipe the floor with these guys I will go up against my old friend Doctor Louis D'Ville. Now, Doc, remember I gave you your first real loss here and I can most certainly give you one more. You are good, but you're not as good as me. I proved that with my own two hands so why should I need to prove it again? Ha, the thing is I like our back and forth, we have good talks you and I. So, I'm going to kick my feet up for a little while and just wait til you open your mouth so I can shut you up by just proving how pathetic you are all over again."

"Next Kessler, I dunno a lot about you but anyone can beat Mazzy and Stinger makes as much sense as a brain dead sea lion honking horns in a circus, so you'll go through but you'll most definitely lose, but just in case, fuck you, you suck I'm better blah blah blah. I think that'll be enough to shoot you down, you seem pretty inept at most tasks, I mean you couldn't take down Ghost Tank in your first match so you must be really fucking bad. Anyway, you'll get taken out by Santos or Zeke so who cares about you. These two on the other hand, my former partner and previous Television champion. Zeke, you fucked up at War Games and I really want to make you pay for that, which is a shame because I kinda like you. I busted you out of jail for gods sake. But, you fucked up, and I hate a fuck up. Also, there is Tony Santos, who if he remembers how to turn the camera on, he has a good chance of winning this thing. But remember Santos, you lost the belt to Steve Davids, sure how he won it was pretty fucked up, Heyman's guys all ganging up on you like that but you still lost to Davids. I took the belt from Davids, and I had to deal with Heyman's bullshit too. So, really I've already proved I'm better than you right? I beat the guy who beat you. That's how it works right? Fuck it, I hope you do manage to wake up and realise you're a wrestler this week because I would love to go one on one with you man."

"Then, after all the bullshit we've got Frodo versus Sane. My money is on Sane winning and you know what Sane, I'll give you a helpful pointer to remember, Frodo is a fucking who shouts stupid shit without realising when he's wrong or not. He fucking sucks in situations if there is more than one person by the way, he gets all confused with the large numbers of taller people and makes himself sound dumber all the fucking time, trust me on that, I went up against his, as he called it, clone and made that fucker shut up and admit I was better. Oh and Frodo, a clone is an exact copy of someone or something so if I could make Simon sit up and realise I beat him in the whole trash talk game, I would hope that you would be smart enough to do the fucking same. But hey, this is just the beginning, maybe we can actually see some decent trash talk from the midget wonder or maybe he'll get scared again and run back to Belize, let Simon take his place and let me just bury the fuck out of him again. Yes, Frodo, Simon got the winning pin but he still lost to me in spirit, you know that, he knows that and I know that. So fucking prove to me that you are some fucking trash talk god and not a fucking clone of a clone."

"Lastly, Sane, now you're kinda boring. Sorry but I don't know it's something about you and Evertrust, I know you're good. Remember when you wanted to get into the TV title match and we traded a few barbs, I complimented you. I saw something in you, and you showed it at War Games. You're talented but by god you are boring. You and Trust just make me yawn and want to go into the kitchen, make myself something to eat out of shear boredom. You know what I mean? It's like when you can't sleep so you try and listen to a podcast or watch crappy TV at four in the morning but you realise it's doing nothing so you go downstairs to make some beans on toast or in your case a vegimite sandwich, and have a brew just to fill your stomach so you're a bit more tired, but now you feel more awake so you go on facebook and play Bejeweled Blitz for a hour or so until you finally feel sleepy, so you finally crawl back into bed and you still can't sleep so you stare at the ceiling and think about all the stupid shit you did as a teenager that you regret and wish you could go back in time to change all of it, and it ends up making you feel like an asshole so you stay awake and try and get on with your day but you have this god awful sleep deprived sick feeling all day and it makes you feel even worse about everything, and after a few hours of trying to keep yourself busy you lie down on the couch saying you won't fall asleep but you do and wake up at two in the morning with a bad back and sore neck because your couch fucking sucks.... You know that feeling? Yeah, that's how I feel watching your promos."

"So yeah, good luck to all. Kisses!"