10-19-2014, 03:04 PM
Bon Secours Wellness Arena
Greenville, SC
Date: October 19, 2014.
Days left until Madness: 3.
Greenville, SC
Date: October 19, 2014.
Days left until Madness: 3.
We open up with an overhead view of Greenville, South Carolina. Ah... Greenville. The day was truly beautiful as it was bright and sunny. The warm rays of the Sun radiated down on the people that were going about their regular day-to-day lives, caressing their skin. It was fairly warm for an autumn day. The sky was painted a bright, cerulean blue and the birds chirped happily their harmonious tunes. One would deem it a perfect day, right?
Wrong.
The peace and tranquility was abruptly broken up by soft rumbling. The rumbling intensified and soon there were distant voices. The voices grew louder and louder and soon, the camera pans over to where the ruckus was coming from. A military tank was making its way through the streets with four black cars surrounding it followed by a crowd of, let's say, approximately 2,000 people. A tsunami of cheers and chants filled up the air. We catch glimpses of passersbys stopping and looking on at all of the commotion with befuddled expressions painted on their faces. We also see Jill Lorder signs amongst the marching crowd. Soon, the cars, military tank and the crowd came to a halt when they arrived at their destination: the Bon Secours Wellness Arena.
The top of the military tank popped open and out came none other than Miss Congeniality herself. At this point, the crowd went absolutely nuts as Jill came out of the military tank. We see her clad in cameo pants, military boots and a T-shirt. The camera zooms in on the shirt, which has a picture of a can with the words "Whoop Ass" on it. Jill grabs a megaphone and proceeds to speak through it.
Who thinks that Tony and I are gonna win our match on Wednesday?!
Jill's entourage of fans erupted in an outpour of cheers and chants. Their reaction was overwhelming and Jill managed to have them settle down.
Alright, alright, alright! Damn, your cheers could've brought everyone who is dead back to life! Now calm down before we cause an earthquake.
Lorder brought her attention over to the camera and acted surprised, as if she didn't know that her "little parade" was being caught on footage.
Oh! Well, hello there! I didn't see you guys there. Well, I guess I got some few words that I would like to say, especially towards Thing 1 and Thing 2.
First off, I bet you all are wondering: "Jill, why the hell are you at the Bon Secours Wellness Arena when your match isn't until Wednesday? And what's up with the crowd and the cars and the entourage? Who the hell do you think you are, Barack Obama?"
I may not be the President of the good ol' United States of America, but I sure as hell feel like it! But anyways, let me help and clarify some things for you guys who are viewing this at home. I just came here for the hell of it. I decided to just come over here and see all these fine people of Greenville. Anyway, I came here really to speak about my highly-anticipated debut match for the XWF and about the two knuckleheads that Tony and I will be facing. Before I go on, however, let me just give you guys a quick little recap on how this tag team match got booked in the first place:
(10-14-2014, 01:49 PM)Dustin Cage Said: [ -> ](10-13-2014, 08:24 PM)John Cenas Friend Tony Said: [ -> ](10-13-2014, 05:04 PM)Leon Cage Said: [ -> ]"Don't worry boss, me and Dustin will carry your name in! Me and Dustin are in for a Tag Team match!"
Hey Jeff, my friend John Cena says you should put Jill and I across the ring from these foos.
"Well then, why don't we up the ante a bit? Me and Leon will fa e you and Jill in an Elimination Flaming Shit- Covered Table Match!"
Thankfully, our match won't be an elimination flaming shit-covered table match. I'm thinking that Dustin was hoping for our match to be kinda like "Two Girls, One Cup", just call it "Four Wrestlers, One Flaming Shit-Covered Table". I guess he just gets off from people being burned and covered in fecal matter. Talk about gross...
Speaking of which, I haven't heard a single peep from Dumb and Dumber since last week Tuesday. I guess they're having cold feet. Hopefully they're not planning on forfeiting the match or no-showing, because that would be just flat out embarrassing on their part. Not to mention disappointing. If it's one thing I hate, it would have to be anyone who backs out unexpectedly from a fight. So, El Stupido Uno and Dos, you better bring those asses of yours on Wednesday and give Tony and I your absolute best in the ring. Otherwise, we're gonna find you and kick your asses personally. You can be in Las Vegas or El Salvador, taking a shit, at McDonalds or at a One Direction concert. It doesn't matter where the hell you are! Either way, you two are still gonna get a nice...
The crowd chimes in and finishes Lorder's sentence.
"... well-portioned serving of whoop-ass!"
You heard that? Now that's what's up! That's what I'm talking about! Now, where was I? Oh, that's right! Leon and Dustin Cage, just make sure you show up to the ring on Wednesday. Otherwise, you won't like what'll be in store for you if you fail to do so.
The crowd bursts out into their cheers and chants yet again as the camera pans up to the sky before the scene fades into black.