X-treme Wrestling Federation

((Wednesday morning. “Loverboy” Vinnie Lane is in South Korea. After being on planes nonstop for nearly 18 hours, and then a train from Seoul to Incheon, Loverboy has certainly felt less like a dirty towel at the bottom of a laundry hamper before in his life. For the time being, Loverboy has taken it upon himself to visit one of the area’s many markets to stretch his legs and relax a little after such an eventful couple of days.))

Loverboy: How much is this one, dude?

((Loverboy is inquiring about the price of a smartphone. Apparently, something has motivated the rock n’ roll megastar to evolve from the stone age Nokia flip phone he’s been relying on for the past ten years or so. The young and pretty girl behind the counter blushes and says something in Korean, which of course Loverboy can’t understand, but her gestures and body language indicate that she may be willing to settle for a picture with the Trios Champ.))

Loverboy: Yeah, sweetie, no problem! I can do that! Always willing to be cool to my fans!

((As Loverboy starts to walk to the girl, she shakes her head, instead pointing for him to just sit in a nearby area.))

Loverboy: Oh? Just me? Well, okay, that’s fine too…

((Posing and smiling in his seat, Loverboy gets into the limelight a little and even removes his brand new championship belts from Dave Millican to be photographed with him. The Korean girl happily snaps away with her cell phone for a few moments, then gestures again by grabbing her shirt and lifting it slightly, pointing at Loverboy.))

Loverboy: You want me to take my shirt off?

((The girl nods her head emphatically as Loverboy moves to take off his Ratt t-shirt. She squeals with joy as his nubile, muscular form is revealed to her, and takes a dozen more photos.))



((After a few more seconds of posturing, Loverboy stands and grabs his shirt, ignoring the plaintive cries of the girl.))

Loverboy: Okay, okay, you got what you wanted, right? I’d stay and play for sure, you know, I do love Asian cuisine, but I really can’t stay and be your supermodel for any longer, man! I just need to grab that cell phone from you…

((The girl scowls but hands Loverboy his new phone as he puts his shirt back on. He quickly gives her a hug and a big kiss on the cheek, then grabs his things and heads away down the market aisle. Everywhere he walks, locals stare and point at him, often taking pictures. A few even run up to him just to touch him as he walks by. Eventually, he comes to a poster hanging outside one of the many storefronts, and it is advertising that night’s XWF show at the Incheon Stadium. Though the writing is in Korean, pictures of XWF stars like Mastermind, Swagmire and Liz Hathaway. Of course, Loverboy’s picture is nowhere to be found on the poster, as he isn’t scheduled to appear at the event. Even so, as Loverboy is looking at the poster a small boy runs over to him wearing a Mastermind t-shirt two sizes too big for him, and stands looking up at Loverboy holding a felt pen up in the air.))

Loverboy: You want an autograph little dude? No problem, man! You’re gonna be a rich man someday if you hold on to this!

((Loverboy takes the pen, scribbles his name across the XWF poster with a flourish, and pulls it from the wall, handing it and the pen back to the kid, who runs off happily. Loverboy watches with a smile as the kid shows his new treasure to his friends a block or two away, then takes the time to fiddle with his new smart device. He seems pretty fascinated by the touch screen and the icons. Setting down his bag, he pulls out the new tag belts and sets them side by side, taking a picture with the phone and then typing on the touchscreen for a minute. As he concentrates, an American walks up to him in an XWF shirt.))

Guy: Hey! Vinnie Lane! You in town for the show tonight? I didn’t see your name on the rider…

Loverboy: Yeah man, I decided to come and show some support for Clean! You one of us?

Guy: Oh I’m one of the XWF crew guys. We set the rigs and everything last night in the stadium, and I came out to go sightseeing and grab some food before finishing up for the show. I saw what you did for that little boy, that was really cool! Great poster he’s got!

Loverboy: Yea, totally dude! That Hathaway pic was so hot! That chick turns me on like crazy, man, I think I’m gonna get her number tonight!

Guy: Uh…

Loverboy: Hey man, while you’re here and all, think you can give me a hand? I just started this Twitter thing on the plane ride out of boredom, you know? And I found a lot of the other dudes on there as well. I just typed this up and sent it, check it out!

((Loverboy shows his Tweetful masterpiece to the crewman, then shows him the belts.))


Loverboy: See I took a pic of those bad boys, and I want to send it along with the Twitter stuff. Can you show me how? I know I’m the last dude on Earth who can’t figure this crap out!

((The crewman takes the phone while Vinnie gathers up the belts again and packs them away, and fiddles with it. A second later, he hands it back with a smile.))

Guy: There you go, Vinnie! Are you looking forward to the show?

Loverboy: Of course, dude! I wouldn’t have spent my entire day yesterday getting halfway around the world if I wasn’t excited to see the show live and in person! I can’t wait for Clean to show his moves off to that new kid Luke Gunnar, and to watch him make a fool out of that lame Pest!

Guy: Yeah, that guy’s a dick to everyone. You should see the crap he demands for his dressing room and stuff. Guy’s a bastard.

Loverboy: Man, you aren’t telling me anything I don’t already know! But don’t you worry, pal, after tonight I think he might be a little more humble, you know? Dude is gonna catch an ass kicking whether or not I decide to get in his face. What about you, man, what are you looking forward to?

Guy: I think the fourway with Gator as the ref is going to be really cool! Four hot girls rolling around together, what could be better than that, right?

Loverboy: You said it, man, that’s gonna be awesome for sure! And my boy Gator needs to take the night off from real action in order to be in shape for Monday too! Guest reffing for those girls is gonna be the highlight of his week, man, considering what’s coming up next for him. You know we have a match, right?

Guy: Oh of course! That’s going to be the match of the night on Madness! I can’t wait to see Luca again!

Loverboy: Luca huh? That’s not cool, man. I’m your boy, you know? I just took time out of my day to chill with you and you’re looking forward to Luca? Gator, my buddy, is actually here tonight and has been at all these shows for months now, he’s a new double champion, and you talk about Luca? That’s just disrespectful, dude!

Guy: Don’t get me wrong, Vinnie, I didn’t mean it like that! I think you and Gator are awesome! LH Harrison too, but I know you’ve already beaten him…

Loverboy: True, true.

Guy: It’s just that, Luca Arzegotti is one of the best XWF wrestlers and…

Loverboy: WAS, man. Luca WAS one of the best in the XWF. Look around you man. Look at that poster I gave that kid. Is Luca on it? Is Luca here spending his time at a show he isn’t even booked for, making fans of the XWF happy all over the world? Is Luca Arzegotti walking around carrying TWO championship belts everywhere he goes? Let me save you the trouble of answering, man. No, no, and no. You know who is, dude? Me. You know who is undefeated in the XWF? Me. You know who knocked off three hall of fame candidates at Relentless? Me. It seems like every time someone around me opens their trap about Madness, they want to talk about Luca! It’s like, you’ve got three other guys in that match, dude! Four different championship belts around those waists! One of the best new up and comers in the fed, too, and trust me, I’ve been in the ring against him and alongside him, I know what I’m talking about. Guy isn’t too great at battle royals is all. Where has Luca been while all three of us have been busting our asses in the ring? Chasing down criminals or whatever the hell? Good! Let him stick to that and let me stick to winning wrestling matches, like I have been doing, and like I plan on doing again on Monday night!

Guy: Hey… look, I’m sorry… if you do win, though, that would really make you a serious contender. What would you want to do afterward?

Loverboy: Make me a contender? Dude, you are seriously starting to kill my buzz, man. I was born a friggin’ contender! I’ve been a contender since my first match in XWF, which included that victory over Harrison, if you remember. As soon as the GMs saw what I was capable of, they practically pissed themselves trying to get me booked against their top guys! If I want the X-treme title tomorrow, they’ll give me a shot. If I want Gator’s TV belt, I’ll get a shot. Guppy Parsh’s whatever title? Any time I want! When you look like I do, and you compete like I do, title shots are easy to get, man. I’ll show you just how easy it is after Monday. You bet your ass that Luca and Gator are going to learn just how afraid of me they should be. Harrison already knows.

Guy: Uh… okay man, look, I gotta go. It was cool chatting with you. I’ll see you at the show? Maybe I’ll even be able to help you with that Hathaway thing! I bring her her dinner sometimes. It’s always fish. You know?

Loverboy: What? Whatever, man, get out of here. Jesus. I need to find a toilet before I blow an o-ring.

((Loverboy walks off from the guy, who shakes his head and leaves in a different direction.))