07-27-2014, 11:48 AM
I bet the title of this promo led you to believe that I was about to go on a rant about what my brother Sebastian recently did to me?
It would make sense would it not?
And the truth is, I am not sure that I am still completely ok with what Sebastian did. While I understand and can even appreciate the notion of being taught a lesson I question the method by which the method was delivered. But what is done, is done. The lives lost will never come back and it will do me no good to ponder it further. Instead I will focus my time and efforts on things that do matter, and things that are not yet set in stone. Such as the XWF Trios Tournament taking place tomorrow night which, is actually the impetus for the title of this promo.
I must say, it is rather humorous watching Frodo Smackins the XWF’s resident pervert cutting a promo in which he calls out his own teammates for not putting forth the kind of effort that he believes they should.
A few words of advice Frodo from one actual champion to a guy who was gift wrapped a title only to promptly lose that title the first time they defended them, it does not matter who your partners are or how much effort that give or do not give. The results of our match tomorrow night were written in stone long before you ever stepped foot into an XWF wrestling ring. In no version of this will you and the teammates you pulled out of the bargain bin advance to the next round. So if I were you I would spend less time worrying about Zoey Ryback and more time worrying about how you are going to make it out of Raleigh alive. And I hope you are not under the illusion that your on again off again fuck buddy Azrael is going to save you from the beating you so richly deserve.
Now allow me to cut you off at the pass before you try and turn this into one of your warped sexual fantasies in which you somehow make the connection that because I am even mentioning your name that means I somehow want to sleep with you. We both know that is not the truth. The reason I am picking on you is because, well, actually there are two reasons. First and foremost you are the Captain of the Titanic, I hope you get the reference but I fear that your constant drug abuse will mean that you did not. Oh well. The other reason I am picking on you? You felt the need to throw a few elementary level barbs my way so please allow me to respond in kind.
According to you Frodo the self-proclaimed King of Dwarves, I have no legacy. I am not even worth talking about and yet you did talk about me. You often talk about me. I am curious of something Frodo do you believe that you have a legacy? What is that legacy? The guy who raped Peter Gilmour? The guy who Scorpio stupidly picked to be his running mate? The guy who cannot win a singles title or even beat Peter Gilmour one on one? I have no legacy? In three consecutive matches I won an X-treme Title, a United States title and a twenty four seven briefcase. Not one of which you have ever held. And chances are, probably never will. While I may not have my brothers legacy, a fact which I will surely not argue, to state that I have none is both factually incorrect and frankly ridiculous. But what should I expect from a drug addict who seems to live out his life in a fantasy world?
If only you had stopped there Frodo, if only. Of course we all know that stopping is something you seem to have a serious issue with. Whether it is stopping your rampant drug use before it kills you. Or stopping yourself from allowing baseless bullshit to leave your lips before it gets you into trouble. Or my favorite, your inability to stop yourself from getting your ass kicked on a weekly basis. You just cannot stop yourself. As evidence by the inaccurate statement that Olive kicked my ass several weeks ago. While Olive Pendershore did in fact win the match at no point did she kick my ass, rather the opposite is true. I beat Olive so badly that her boyfriend had to come down and save her. And he did. He is the reason I lost that match, it certainly was not because of anything Olive did. Go back and watch the tapes since apparently your memory of the match is completely twisted.
Go ahead Frodo watch the tape and then come back to me with some more nonsense.
In the mean time allow me to speak for a few minutes about your partners. First we have Zoey Ryback, the woman who is drawing your ire. Zoey take it from someone who is only looking out for your best interests, you are better off no showing for this match. Stepping into the ring against Azrael, Sebastian and I is not a good idea. Stepping into the ring with Frodo and Mastermind as your partners is an even worse idea. In fact, stepping into the ring with them as your back up makes stepping into the ring against me and my partners seem like an idea worthy of a Nobel Prize. So do yourself a favor, stay away from the ring. Stay far far away so that the stench of failure that Frodo wears like his favorite cologne won’t rub off on you.
Now we have Mastermind. The self-proclaimed Master of Minds, I appreciate that unlike your partner Frodo you are at least in tune enough with reality to understand what will be standing before you come Monday night. You are absolutely right we are good. We are very good in fact. But to claim that we are stale? I assume Mastermind that you are not much of a sports fan, because if you were you would know that what sports fans like more than anything else is a winner. And the team made up of Azrael, Sebastian and I are a team filled with winners. It's what we do and we do we do it well. You are right though, I have never won the big title, nor have I ever attempted to. That is an important distinction to make, I have not won it because I have never cared enough to try but rest assure once I set my sights on that title, it will be mine. One last thing Mastermind before we meet in the ring on Monday, you may very believe that it is your time, that as you say it’s all about tomorrow today, but something you seemed to have forgot. Folks love the classics.
I suppose I should spent a quick minute or two discussing the other teams since we will most likely be facing some combination of them.
First we have the team made up of Peter Gilmour, the…and I cannot believe I am saying this, the current Universal Champion Morbid Angel and Cain. I have to be honest here, I really do not feel like talking about Peter Gilmour. Discussing Peter while always good for a laugh is also a fantastic way to get fatigue so instead I will keep it short and simple. Peter Gilmour you are God awful. You are a current tag team champion no thanks to your own efforts. Your partner carried you the entire match and if it were not for the Black Circle’s interference at John Madison’s request you would have walked out that match like you walk out basically all of your matches, a loser. Next we have Morbid Angel. Let me put this to you are clearly as I can. I truly had no designs on the Universal Title mostly because I never really cared about it but now that you have it, I want it. Actually allow me to clarify, I do not want the Universal Title so much as I want to take it from you just like I took from you your X-treme Title and just like I am going to take from you the Trios Titles if you should happen to advance to the second round. And lastly from team no shot we have Cain. Cain I like you. In you I see someone that has a bright future in this company, you are a beast capable of doing unfathomable amounts of damage but not so long as you cast your lot in with guys like Peter Gilmour. To that end Cain how does it feel to know that you were not even Peter’s first choice. You do know that he first wanted his tag team partner to be on his trios team but after Dim made it clear in no uncertain terms that carrying Peter to one title was enough, only then did he reach out to you. And so here you are a member of his team. Good luck with that.
Your opponents in round one? The Mafia Men. Yeah, I am fairly certain that the rotting corpse of Tony Soprano could take out the entirety of the Mafia Men while handcuffed and blind folded.
And in the other round one match up, some guy I have never heard of named “Autoplay” Dustin Clay, Crimson Dong and The Mac Bry not much to say about this clown car of failure other than this, if by chance they escape round one alive. Azrael, Sebastian and I will enjoy ripping you apart.
The final team in the tournament is probably the only one, the only one that stands a chance against the collective greatness that is our team. And that is a team made of up Jessie-ica Diaz, Olive Pendershore and Shelby Cobra. The most unlikely trios team I think I have ever seen. Aside from all being white women who like to use sarcasm as a way to get a point across I cannot for the life of me understand how these three found themselves aligned for this event. Nevertheless here they are. Shelby Cobra is not someone I am all that worried about and how I could I be? Anyone that is willing to have sex with Paul Heyman for free is clearly someone who is not all right in the head. I would put my money on her being too busy in the janitors closet with Paul to even make it down to the ring. Olive Pendershore? I guess I can beat her down again, it certainly wasn’t all that hard the first time. And Jessie-ica Diaz? I bested her in the Terminal Velocity Main Event, no reason to think I cannot do so again.
So there we have it, one team made up of greatness personified, a team led by a career loser, a team of three white chicks and then a few more teams that are nothing more than cannon fodder. I can almost taste the trios titles now.
It would make sense would it not?
And the truth is, I am not sure that I am still completely ok with what Sebastian did. While I understand and can even appreciate the notion of being taught a lesson I question the method by which the method was delivered. But what is done, is done. The lives lost will never come back and it will do me no good to ponder it further. Instead I will focus my time and efforts on things that do matter, and things that are not yet set in stone. Such as the XWF Trios Tournament taking place tomorrow night which, is actually the impetus for the title of this promo.
I must say, it is rather humorous watching Frodo Smackins the XWF’s resident pervert cutting a promo in which he calls out his own teammates for not putting forth the kind of effort that he believes they should.
A few words of advice Frodo from one actual champion to a guy who was gift wrapped a title only to promptly lose that title the first time they defended them, it does not matter who your partners are or how much effort that give or do not give. The results of our match tomorrow night were written in stone long before you ever stepped foot into an XWF wrestling ring. In no version of this will you and the teammates you pulled out of the bargain bin advance to the next round. So if I were you I would spend less time worrying about Zoey Ryback and more time worrying about how you are going to make it out of Raleigh alive. And I hope you are not under the illusion that your on again off again fuck buddy Azrael is going to save you from the beating you so richly deserve.
Now allow me to cut you off at the pass before you try and turn this into one of your warped sexual fantasies in which you somehow make the connection that because I am even mentioning your name that means I somehow want to sleep with you. We both know that is not the truth. The reason I am picking on you is because, well, actually there are two reasons. First and foremost you are the Captain of the Titanic, I hope you get the reference but I fear that your constant drug abuse will mean that you did not. Oh well. The other reason I am picking on you? You felt the need to throw a few elementary level barbs my way so please allow me to respond in kind.
According to you Frodo the self-proclaimed King of Dwarves, I have no legacy. I am not even worth talking about and yet you did talk about me. You often talk about me. I am curious of something Frodo do you believe that you have a legacy? What is that legacy? The guy who raped Peter Gilmour? The guy who Scorpio stupidly picked to be his running mate? The guy who cannot win a singles title or even beat Peter Gilmour one on one? I have no legacy? In three consecutive matches I won an X-treme Title, a United States title and a twenty four seven briefcase. Not one of which you have ever held. And chances are, probably never will. While I may not have my brothers legacy, a fact which I will surely not argue, to state that I have none is both factually incorrect and frankly ridiculous. But what should I expect from a drug addict who seems to live out his life in a fantasy world?
If only you had stopped there Frodo, if only. Of course we all know that stopping is something you seem to have a serious issue with. Whether it is stopping your rampant drug use before it kills you. Or stopping yourself from allowing baseless bullshit to leave your lips before it gets you into trouble. Or my favorite, your inability to stop yourself from getting your ass kicked on a weekly basis. You just cannot stop yourself. As evidence by the inaccurate statement that Olive kicked my ass several weeks ago. While Olive Pendershore did in fact win the match at no point did she kick my ass, rather the opposite is true. I beat Olive so badly that her boyfriend had to come down and save her. And he did. He is the reason I lost that match, it certainly was not because of anything Olive did. Go back and watch the tapes since apparently your memory of the match is completely twisted.
Go ahead Frodo watch the tape and then come back to me with some more nonsense.
In the mean time allow me to speak for a few minutes about your partners. First we have Zoey Ryback, the woman who is drawing your ire. Zoey take it from someone who is only looking out for your best interests, you are better off no showing for this match. Stepping into the ring against Azrael, Sebastian and I is not a good idea. Stepping into the ring with Frodo and Mastermind as your partners is an even worse idea. In fact, stepping into the ring with them as your back up makes stepping into the ring against me and my partners seem like an idea worthy of a Nobel Prize. So do yourself a favor, stay away from the ring. Stay far far away so that the stench of failure that Frodo wears like his favorite cologne won’t rub off on you.
Now we have Mastermind. The self-proclaimed Master of Minds, I appreciate that unlike your partner Frodo you are at least in tune enough with reality to understand what will be standing before you come Monday night. You are absolutely right we are good. We are very good in fact. But to claim that we are stale? I assume Mastermind that you are not much of a sports fan, because if you were you would know that what sports fans like more than anything else is a winner. And the team made up of Azrael, Sebastian and I are a team filled with winners. It's what we do and we do we do it well. You are right though, I have never won the big title, nor have I ever attempted to. That is an important distinction to make, I have not won it because I have never cared enough to try but rest assure once I set my sights on that title, it will be mine. One last thing Mastermind before we meet in the ring on Monday, you may very believe that it is your time, that as you say it’s all about tomorrow today, but something you seemed to have forgot. Folks love the classics.
I suppose I should spent a quick minute or two discussing the other teams since we will most likely be facing some combination of them.
First we have the team made up of Peter Gilmour, the…and I cannot believe I am saying this, the current Universal Champion Morbid Angel and Cain. I have to be honest here, I really do not feel like talking about Peter Gilmour. Discussing Peter while always good for a laugh is also a fantastic way to get fatigue so instead I will keep it short and simple. Peter Gilmour you are God awful. You are a current tag team champion no thanks to your own efforts. Your partner carried you the entire match and if it were not for the Black Circle’s interference at John Madison’s request you would have walked out that match like you walk out basically all of your matches, a loser. Next we have Morbid Angel. Let me put this to you are clearly as I can. I truly had no designs on the Universal Title mostly because I never really cared about it but now that you have it, I want it. Actually allow me to clarify, I do not want the Universal Title so much as I want to take it from you just like I took from you your X-treme Title and just like I am going to take from you the Trios Titles if you should happen to advance to the second round. And lastly from team no shot we have Cain. Cain I like you. In you I see someone that has a bright future in this company, you are a beast capable of doing unfathomable amounts of damage but not so long as you cast your lot in with guys like Peter Gilmour. To that end Cain how does it feel to know that you were not even Peter’s first choice. You do know that he first wanted his tag team partner to be on his trios team but after Dim made it clear in no uncertain terms that carrying Peter to one title was enough, only then did he reach out to you. And so here you are a member of his team. Good luck with that.
Your opponents in round one? The Mafia Men. Yeah, I am fairly certain that the rotting corpse of Tony Soprano could take out the entirety of the Mafia Men while handcuffed and blind folded.
And in the other round one match up, some guy I have never heard of named “Autoplay” Dustin Clay, Crimson Dong and The Mac Bry not much to say about this clown car of failure other than this, if by chance they escape round one alive. Azrael, Sebastian and I will enjoy ripping you apart.
The final team in the tournament is probably the only one, the only one that stands a chance against the collective greatness that is our team. And that is a team made of up Jessie-ica Diaz, Olive Pendershore and Shelby Cobra. The most unlikely trios team I think I have ever seen. Aside from all being white women who like to use sarcasm as a way to get a point across I cannot for the life of me understand how these three found themselves aligned for this event. Nevertheless here they are. Shelby Cobra is not someone I am all that worried about and how I could I be? Anyone that is willing to have sex with Paul Heyman for free is clearly someone who is not all right in the head. I would put my money on her being too busy in the janitors closet with Paul to even make it down to the ring. Olive Pendershore? I guess I can beat her down again, it certainly wasn’t all that hard the first time. And Jessie-ica Diaz? I bested her in the Terminal Velocity Main Event, no reason to think I cannot do so again.
So there we have it, one team made up of greatness personified, a team led by a career loser, a team of three white chicks and then a few more teams that are nothing more than cannon fodder. I can almost taste the trios titles now.