06-25-2014, 07:23 AM
Frodo had been scurrying around the apartment trying to get it cleaned up. As best as he could, anyway. Crack had a fit the other day and threw knives through the wall, and even a shoe through the TV screen. The apartment was a wreck, but Frodo and Sarah were working tirelessly to clean that shit. Working harder than Frodo had worked since he stopped believing in sobriety. And I mean the second time. He had to work really fucking hard that time. Did you see the person he was fucking at the time? He had to fight really to stay sober having to deal with that shit. Fuck that guy. Just a solid fuck that guy.
See, today was the day that something amazing was too happen. Today Frodo got to see the new Azrael, the human Azrael. Frodo was nervous, what if Azrael didn't like Frodo now, or what if he didn't smell like Cinnamon? OH GOD NO! DON'T TAKE THE CINNAMON SMELL! Anything but that! In case that had happened Frodo had purchased some cinnamon scented candles and began lighting and hiding them around the apartment. If Azrael thought he would slip by without the cinnamon smell, he was wrong. Foolish Mortal, you cannot outwit Frederich Jeremiah Ward. Mostly because his middle name is not Jeremiah. It's Adam.
Suddenly as Frodo was cleaning the bathroom, using Crack's toothbrush, there came a knock.
"Sarah, get the door. I'm busy cleaning. Azrael's supposed to be stopping by. You can't tongue his B-hole if the place is dirty. Come on, girl. I bet it's the Pizza guy."
Sarah went and answered the door. It was some boring looking fellow in a suit.
"Sorry, we don't want Jesus, we're waiting for a drug induced threesome. Bye."
She slammed the door and went back to chilling out on the sofa like a lazy piece of shit. The door bell rang again. She just sat there and called for Frodo.
"Bitch, why didn't you get the door? Is it Pizza?"
"It's some dude selling Jesus. Why don't you yell at him? I told him to go away, but he won't leave."
Frodo walked up front with the rubber gloves still on, and Crack's toothbrush in his left hand. He opened the door and saw the face of Azrael Erebus standing there. The new Azrael Erebus, human after all.
"Frodo! You're friend doesn't seem to like the new me. Tragic...seriously, tragic. Oh well, what can you do? Can't please 'em all, 'eh? Anywho, I'm coming in nonetheless, if that's alright? What am I saying, of course it's alright. You look good. Especially with those blue, rubbery gloves on. They match the toothbrush you're wielding fantastically. One question though - why, are you wearing elbow length rubber gloves and carrying a toothbrush?"
"Sarah! It's Cinnamon. He definitely doesn't wanna sell us Jesus. Come in, Cinnamon. Meet Sarah properly. Toothbrush?"
He looks down.
"Oh, this. This is Crack's. I was, uh, cleaning the toilet."
"You're saying it like it's a lie, but I believe you."
"Because then you might think I'm weird."
He looks down in shame.
"Well, of course I think you're weird. Weird is good though. I like weird, I adore weird. It's the normal, tedious and boring that I can't stand."
"So, you're Azrael, eh. Nice to meet you, I guess."
"Charmed, truly."
Sarah stood up, took a look at him, and held up a baggie of Cocaine. Winking at the boys.
"We're gonna need more than that, dear."
She just chuckled a little.
"This is just the starter. Before the real party can begin you guys have to do a party line."
"Not an issue."
She chuckled some more and dropped her pants. Azrael and Frodo looked confused as she set her penis on the arm of the sofa, and set up some Coke in a mild line on it.
"You first, Cinnamon."
Azrael walked over and did the line like it was nothing. She set it up again for Frodo, and he followed suite. The rest of the night was mostly a blur for them, there was a point when Frodo was on his knees blowing Azrael while he Azrael blew Sarah, but that's about the only clear moment from the night. Honestly, whatever other odd weird, depraved, and awesome sex acts may have happened will be a mystery for all involved forever. It's probably best this way, someone may have gotten an eye full of jizz. Who knows. Anyway, we're getting side tracked.
At one point during the party Katie walked in the front door and saw Azrael bent over the sofa getting pegged from behind by Sarah as he worked the Half man's pole.
"OH MY FUCKING GOD! WHAT AM I SEEING?"
She just backed out slowly. No one really noticed her, and if they did who was going to say something? Anyway, we're skipping ahead to the next day afternoon. After Azrael left, but not with all of his dignity. We see Frodo downstairs in one of the Meth labs. He looks like he's up to something important. Sarah is walks into the lab wearing a gas mask, a skirt, and her bra, nothing else.
"Hey, whatchu doing?"
"Making something awesome. Remember when I blew Azrael? Well, I saved a sample of his DNA. And I'm using some of mine, I'm going to combine them and make a baby."
"Why? He didn't even smell like Cinnamon."
"You shut your mouth before I shut it for you. He smells like Cinnamon, and love. I want you to go to upstairs, get his address and have a puppy delivered."
"Fine. I'll see if they do that. By the way, Fred. I love you."
"Thanks, babe. You're pretty awesome yourself. Now, I gotta do this."
Does the Frodo baby work? Find out in the next exciting adventure of Frodo Smackins: Coast to Toast.
See, today was the day that something amazing was too happen. Today Frodo got to see the new Azrael, the human Azrael. Frodo was nervous, what if Azrael didn't like Frodo now, or what if he didn't smell like Cinnamon? OH GOD NO! DON'T TAKE THE CINNAMON SMELL! Anything but that! In case that had happened Frodo had purchased some cinnamon scented candles and began lighting and hiding them around the apartment. If Azrael thought he would slip by without the cinnamon smell, he was wrong. Foolish Mortal, you cannot outwit Frederich Jeremiah Ward. Mostly because his middle name is not Jeremiah. It's Adam.
Suddenly as Frodo was cleaning the bathroom, using Crack's toothbrush, there came a knock.
"Sarah, get the door. I'm busy cleaning. Azrael's supposed to be stopping by. You can't tongue his B-hole if the place is dirty. Come on, girl. I bet it's the Pizza guy."
Sarah went and answered the door. It was some boring looking fellow in a suit.
"Sorry, we don't want Jesus, we're waiting for a drug induced threesome. Bye."
She slammed the door and went back to chilling out on the sofa like a lazy piece of shit. The door bell rang again. She just sat there and called for Frodo.
"Bitch, why didn't you get the door? Is it Pizza?"
"It's some dude selling Jesus. Why don't you yell at him? I told him to go away, but he won't leave."
Frodo walked up front with the rubber gloves still on, and Crack's toothbrush in his left hand. He opened the door and saw the face of Azrael Erebus standing there. The new Azrael Erebus, human after all.
"Frodo! You're friend doesn't seem to like the new me. Tragic...seriously, tragic. Oh well, what can you do? Can't please 'em all, 'eh? Anywho, I'm coming in nonetheless, if that's alright? What am I saying, of course it's alright. You look good. Especially with those blue, rubbery gloves on. They match the toothbrush you're wielding fantastically. One question though - why, are you wearing elbow length rubber gloves and carrying a toothbrush?"
"Sarah! It's Cinnamon. He definitely doesn't wanna sell us Jesus. Come in, Cinnamon. Meet Sarah properly. Toothbrush?"
He looks down.
"Oh, this. This is Crack's. I was, uh, cleaning the toilet."
"You're saying it like it's a lie, but I believe you."
"Because then you might think I'm weird."
He looks down in shame.
"Well, of course I think you're weird. Weird is good though. I like weird, I adore weird. It's the normal, tedious and boring that I can't stand."
"So, you're Azrael, eh. Nice to meet you, I guess."
"Charmed, truly."
Sarah stood up, took a look at him, and held up a baggie of Cocaine. Winking at the boys.
"We're gonna need more than that, dear."
She just chuckled a little.
"This is just the starter. Before the real party can begin you guys have to do a party line."
"Not an issue."
She chuckled some more and dropped her pants. Azrael and Frodo looked confused as she set her penis on the arm of the sofa, and set up some Coke in a mild line on it.
"You first, Cinnamon."
Azrael walked over and did the line like it was nothing. She set it up again for Frodo, and he followed suite. The rest of the night was mostly a blur for them, there was a point when Frodo was on his knees blowing Azrael while he Azrael blew Sarah, but that's about the only clear moment from the night. Honestly, whatever other odd weird, depraved, and awesome sex acts may have happened will be a mystery for all involved forever. It's probably best this way, someone may have gotten an eye full of jizz. Who knows. Anyway, we're getting side tracked.
At one point during the party Katie walked in the front door and saw Azrael bent over the sofa getting pegged from behind by Sarah as he worked the Half man's pole.
"OH MY FUCKING GOD! WHAT AM I SEEING?"
She just backed out slowly. No one really noticed her, and if they did who was going to say something? Anyway, we're skipping ahead to the next day afternoon. After Azrael left, but not with all of his dignity. We see Frodo downstairs in one of the Meth labs. He looks like he's up to something important. Sarah is walks into the lab wearing a gas mask, a skirt, and her bra, nothing else.
"Hey, whatchu doing?"
"Making something awesome. Remember when I blew Azrael? Well, I saved a sample of his DNA. And I'm using some of mine, I'm going to combine them and make a baby."
"Why? He didn't even smell like Cinnamon."
"You shut your mouth before I shut it for you. He smells like Cinnamon, and love. I want you to go to upstairs, get his address and have a puppy delivered."
"Fine. I'll see if they do that. By the way, Fred. I love you."
"Thanks, babe. You're pretty awesome yourself. Now, I gotta do this."
Does the Frodo baby work? Find out in the next exciting adventure of Frodo Smackins: Coast to Toast.