05-24-2014, 09:23 PM
The kids were in their hotel rooms, and Frodo was on his way to find one more present for Mandii. This one was a special one, one for the two of them to share together. Not just for her to wear and be somewhat pretty. You know, as pretty as she can be. You know, she was much uglier than some women, like Jamie Lee Curtis, or Olive Pendershore, and just a bit prettier than Maria Brink. Too bad Frodo will never be able to properly put to words just how much he truly cares for Mandii. Because there's not a word for it, not because he's dumb. If Gilmour can explain just how much he loves Hobbit Dick up his butt Frodo can explain how much he likes Mandii, right?
So, yeah, Frodo headed off to the porn store to buy one of those fancy new strapless strap on dildos. The ones where the female can actually get some sort of pleasure. This one is perfect for what Frodo wanted. See, if he was wrong and Mandii was born a lady then she doesn't have the parts to hit him from behind, so he had to improvise, and what better way than this? This way she'll get some pleasure, and so will her. Of course it'd be better if she actually was a dude. We mustn't dwell on the unknown. Frodo is walking back to his apartment by the way, there was no real story in the shopping for strap ons in Texas. It's not as awkward as you'd think. Not like if he were in Kentucky.
He's made it back to his hotel room and he hears some sort of strange commotion coming from next door. From Joseph-Gordon's room. Being the naturally amazing father he is Frodo rushes next door, with Strap on still in hand! One graceful flying door punch later and Frodo is inside the room to see some strange women half dressed yelling at his kid about something.
"Bitch, gimme the goddamn money!"
"I gave you what I had. It's the best that can happen!"
"For what you made me do? $75 is what you think that's worth? I told your Jew ass I want $350. Pay the fuck up or get cut."
No one has noticed the King of the Dwarves holding the majestic strap on for Mandii to fuck his ass with. He did not respond well to this woman threatening the Prince of Dwarves. He leaps into action the only way he knows how. He beats the bitch with the strap on, repeatedly about the face. She falls to the floor looking hella confused.
"What the hell? Who are you? And why you hit me with a dildo? That cost extra."
"I am Frodo Mother fucking Smackins. King of the Dwarves, and Champion of Mandii Rider's heart, I hope. More importantly, I am this boy's father, and you threatened to cut him. Why does he owe you $350, and who the fuck are you?"
Frodo walked over to the woman, pushed her down with his foot as she tried to stand, and then rested his foot on her so she would know her place. This barely fazed her.
"My name is Bunny, and I am an escort. This boy paid me to do..."
Frodo cut her off.
"Don't care. Unless it involved the blonde girl who's somewhere around here, I really don't care what he asked you to do. You're a whore, and you threatened to cut him. I don't approve. Katie! Come here."
Katie came in, looking confused, and freshly showered. This did not please Frodo.
"Hey, you pinned woman. Did your services include blondie?"
"Man, I ain't seen that ho before. Who she? Your girlfriend?"
Frodo took exception to this and stepped harder on Bunny before leaning in to smack her
with the dildo again. Katie was even more confused.
"Daddy, what did you want, and why are you beating the whore Joseph-Gordon found with a dildo?"
"How do you know she's a whore your brother hired? And she threatened him. Had to defend your brother."
"I showed him Backpage. He was complaining about needing to get laid, and so I showed him BP. I use it to advertise the club. Why'd she threaten him?"
"He owes me money. He hands me $75, when it cost $350?"
"Katie, whatchu get for $350 back at the club? 3 girls, and 2 hours?"
"3 girls, two hours, following a private dance for 30 minutes, and all the drinks you can handle for that time. Not many people spend that much. Except on Julie, she's my top earner. I called Frankie to check on things and she made $700 today. They've been open 3 hours."
"I was gone 2 hours. She's been here an hour and half at most. What's that run someone at your place?"
"$75. But she's only been here 45, which is only $40. She's over charging him by a lot. Unless he wanted something weird. Joseph, what'd you want?"
"Anal, vaginal, and oral. You know, the normal."
"She's getting $40. Take $35 back, keep it for your troubles, and send her on her way."
Frodo stepped off Bunny and let her up.
"You forgetting one thing. He's a minor. I charge more for that."
"See that camera? You just admitted to prostitution and child molestation on camera. Guess what that means? If I show that to the cops you're going to prison. I hear they don't like Chomos down here. Just kidding, I know they don't. I went to jail not far from here about 7 years ago."
Bunny looked at the camera for the first time. She got scared, dropped the money, and ran off.
Frodo looks into the camera and speaks.
"Mandii. I'm going to speak to you directly right now. You've been silent for a long time. I'm going to be done talking until our match from now on. Unless you say something first. Listen, I love you. I'm saying it here, I love you. I've said some things. Though true, weren't nice. I bought you a strap on to fuck me with, in case you got your penis removed, or you were born a woman. Either way, I got it. I had to buy a second one because I can't give the Champion of my heart a dildo I used to beat a hooker, that's just weird. Anyway, I miss you, Mandii. Talk to me soon. I've gotta go."
Fade to Frodo looking longingly at the camera.
So, yeah, Frodo headed off to the porn store to buy one of those fancy new strapless strap on dildos. The ones where the female can actually get some sort of pleasure. This one is perfect for what Frodo wanted. See, if he was wrong and Mandii was born a lady then she doesn't have the parts to hit him from behind, so he had to improvise, and what better way than this? This way she'll get some pleasure, and so will her. Of course it'd be better if she actually was a dude. We mustn't dwell on the unknown. Frodo is walking back to his apartment by the way, there was no real story in the shopping for strap ons in Texas. It's not as awkward as you'd think. Not like if he were in Kentucky.
He's made it back to his hotel room and he hears some sort of strange commotion coming from next door. From Joseph-Gordon's room. Being the naturally amazing father he is Frodo rushes next door, with Strap on still in hand! One graceful flying door punch later and Frodo is inside the room to see some strange women half dressed yelling at his kid about something.
"Bitch, gimme the goddamn money!"
"I gave you what I had. It's the best that can happen!"
"For what you made me do? $75 is what you think that's worth? I told your Jew ass I want $350. Pay the fuck up or get cut."
No one has noticed the King of the Dwarves holding the majestic strap on for Mandii to fuck his ass with. He did not respond well to this woman threatening the Prince of Dwarves. He leaps into action the only way he knows how. He beats the bitch with the strap on, repeatedly about the face. She falls to the floor looking hella confused.
"What the hell? Who are you? And why you hit me with a dildo? That cost extra."
"I am Frodo Mother fucking Smackins. King of the Dwarves, and Champion of Mandii Rider's heart, I hope. More importantly, I am this boy's father, and you threatened to cut him. Why does he owe you $350, and who the fuck are you?"
Frodo walked over to the woman, pushed her down with his foot as she tried to stand, and then rested his foot on her so she would know her place. This barely fazed her.
"My name is Bunny, and I am an escort. This boy paid me to do..."
Frodo cut her off.
"Don't care. Unless it involved the blonde girl who's somewhere around here, I really don't care what he asked you to do. You're a whore, and you threatened to cut him. I don't approve. Katie! Come here."
Katie came in, looking confused, and freshly showered. This did not please Frodo.
"Hey, you pinned woman. Did your services include blondie?"
"Man, I ain't seen that ho before. Who she? Your girlfriend?"
Frodo took exception to this and stepped harder on Bunny before leaning in to smack her
with the dildo again. Katie was even more confused.
"Daddy, what did you want, and why are you beating the whore Joseph-Gordon found with a dildo?"
"How do you know she's a whore your brother hired? And she threatened him. Had to defend your brother."
"I showed him Backpage. He was complaining about needing to get laid, and so I showed him BP. I use it to advertise the club. Why'd she threaten him?"
"He owes me money. He hands me $75, when it cost $350?"
"Katie, whatchu get for $350 back at the club? 3 girls, and 2 hours?"
"3 girls, two hours, following a private dance for 30 minutes, and all the drinks you can handle for that time. Not many people spend that much. Except on Julie, she's my top earner. I called Frankie to check on things and she made $700 today. They've been open 3 hours."
"I was gone 2 hours. She's been here an hour and half at most. What's that run someone at your place?"
"$75. But she's only been here 45, which is only $40. She's over charging him by a lot. Unless he wanted something weird. Joseph, what'd you want?"
"Anal, vaginal, and oral. You know, the normal."
"She's getting $40. Take $35 back, keep it for your troubles, and send her on her way."
Frodo stepped off Bunny and let her up.
"You forgetting one thing. He's a minor. I charge more for that."
"See that camera? You just admitted to prostitution and child molestation on camera. Guess what that means? If I show that to the cops you're going to prison. I hear they don't like Chomos down here. Just kidding, I know they don't. I went to jail not far from here about 7 years ago."
Bunny looked at the camera for the first time. She got scared, dropped the money, and ran off.
Frodo looks into the camera and speaks.
"Mandii. I'm going to speak to you directly right now. You've been silent for a long time. I'm going to be done talking until our match from now on. Unless you say something first. Listen, I love you. I'm saying it here, I love you. I've said some things. Though true, weren't nice. I bought you a strap on to fuck me with, in case you got your penis removed, or you were born a woman. Either way, I got it. I had to buy a second one because I can't give the Champion of my heart a dildo I used to beat a hooker, that's just weird. Anyway, I miss you, Mandii. Talk to me soon. I've gotta go."
Fade to Frodo looking longingly at the camera.