05-22-2014, 07:18 PM
After solving the mystery of where Katie's shoe was the dynamic daddy daughter duo departed from the apartment toward the goal of finding the perfect thong and bra set for Frodo's match. He needed to make sure the thong showed off his hobbit bulge perfectly, because even if he wins the match he still plans on stripping down to it and running through the arena in nothing but his shame suit. Nothing would make the hobbit happier than sitting in the back locker room eating a pb&j while wearing just a thong, maybe throw a wink up at Gilmour. Frodo refuses to let himself be limited by making plans like that when he's in a thong. And you should put on a thong and let the day take you where it wants, no plans. Unplanned thong days are the best days, hint hint Mandii.
Anyway, this has been derailed so much that we've entirely missed Frodo and Katie making it to the mall and arriving at Victoria's Secret. Damn, I bet there was some whacky hi-jinx along the way. Oh well, we've gone too far, and there's no going back. Such is the life of the XWF fans who watch this stuff. I bet a lot of you have neckbeards. Do you? Are any of you neckbeards? Fun fact, Peter Gilmour is a closet neckbeard. So, yeah, Frodo is now standing in front of a wall of Thongs, and he is looking very confused, luckily a middle aged redheaded woman who looks like she had ass implants and boob job comes over to help.
"Hello, my name is Sandy. Can I assist you today?"
"What size Thong would I wear? I have a match in my wrestling federation and it's a Thong and Bra match. I need to look pretty for the match."
"I think this is adorable, and we have a couple of girls at the club who need new costumes. This would be perfect for them."
Katie came up holding a pink and black spotted bra and thong combo.
"Daddy! Buy it for me! I mean for them at work."
"No! Dammit, Katie. We're here for me to get something for my match, and for me to get a present for Mandii. Not for you to get your stripper gear. Get ya head in the game."
Sandy just notices the camera as this is going on. Despite the large XWF emblems all over it, and the camera man clearly wearing XWF gear she is confused as to what's going on.
"Excuse me, first of all why am I being filmed? Second of all, is this some sort of prank show?"
Frodo looked confused as hell, which was odd because today he had only smoked half of his breakfast Crack. He was still somewhat coherent.
"I told you. I am a wrestler in the XWF, and I'm in a Thong and Bra match against the former XTreme Champion, Mandii Rider, and I need to get the proper gear. What if I lose? How can I lose in an ugly thong, or a mismatched bra? Do you want me to go out there and look like a fool? Is that it?"
Katie put the thong and bra back on the rack and kind of slinked away, afrad of what was to come.
"Well why am I being filmed? Why is there a camera in here? And what is the XWF? Some sort of Youthtub Prank show thing?
"Youthtub? You mean Youtube? No, it's Xtreme Wrestling Federation. I'm a pro-wrestler. This guy follows me around and films my life. The fans get to see me almost all day every day. Just not Sunday, that's the lord's day."
Katie popped her head out from behind the camera man. He was shockingly tall and muscluar. Why wasn't he wrestling in the fed? He could easily kick Hunter Payne's ass.
"Dad, you're an atheist, and you smoke a lot more crack on sunday than any other day of the week."
"Yes, Katie. The lord's day. Lord of the Crack. Jesus, it's like you don't even know me."
"No! I do not consent to being filmed on your show. I will not be made a fool of. This man does not smoke crack for Jesus, and he is not a pro-wrestler."
"Actually, he is a pro-wrestler. His name is Frodo Smackins, and he does in fact wrestle for the XWF. As for smoking Crack for Jesus, I'm not sure about why he does it, but we have at least 100 hours of useless footage of him just sitting at home in his underwear watching Big Wolf on Campus while smoking crack in his special Darth Vader Crack pipe mask. It's not even funny. It's just sad. This dude just gets high and either has weird sex with random things, and people, or masturbates a lot. And not even to normal stuff. I have a video of him just jerking it dirty to a toaster. Seriously, dude got so high he was jerking off to a toaster that he kept calling Starbuck. Fucking insane."
So, the camera man finally speaks. And really, a toaster? Dammit, Frodo.
"So, that wasn't Kara Thrace? Fuck. Anyway, yeah I'm sorry I didn't explain sooner, but we can blur your face and bleep your name. Is that cool?"
"You're trying to prank me! I will call security! I want my entire identity removed from that filth! All of it!"
"Whatever. Not Sandy. We're trying to be cool here, don't be such a bitch, Not Sandy. Like anyone who want to know what your fucked up face looks like. Not Sandy who works at the Victoria's Secret off W14 mile Road."
Frodo looks into the Camera, while the camera man can be heard laughing from behind the camera.
"Listen, this is a first for me. I have been asked by security to leave that particular Victoria's Secret, and never to return. Fans at home, please help me. I need you all to go in there and mess with Not Sandy. I repeat, do not mess with Sandy, just anyone not named Sandy. Leave the woman who had me removed and banned from that establishment alone. Just harass her co-workers. Anyway, I had to go to the Frederick's of Hollywood in Dearborn to find the right outfit for Mandii. I hope she likes it, I've passed it along through the proper channels, so hopefully she gets it before the match. Mandii, if you see this, I didn't know your size. I'm sorry if it's too small, or too big. I just took a guess. Anyway, I have to go. I'm going to be on some Local talk show in Houston, so I have to fly out. Bye guyes. Bye, Mandii."
Frodo blows a few kisses into the camera. Scene fades out to Katie smacking Frodo for that shit. No daughter should ever hit their father, right?
Anyway, this has been derailed so much that we've entirely missed Frodo and Katie making it to the mall and arriving at Victoria's Secret. Damn, I bet there was some whacky hi-jinx along the way. Oh well, we've gone too far, and there's no going back. Such is the life of the XWF fans who watch this stuff. I bet a lot of you have neckbeards. Do you? Are any of you neckbeards? Fun fact, Peter Gilmour is a closet neckbeard. So, yeah, Frodo is now standing in front of a wall of Thongs, and he is looking very confused, luckily a middle aged redheaded woman who looks like she had ass implants and boob job comes over to help.
"Hello, my name is Sandy. Can I assist you today?"
"What size Thong would I wear? I have a match in my wrestling federation and it's a Thong and Bra match. I need to look pretty for the match."
"I think this is adorable, and we have a couple of girls at the club who need new costumes. This would be perfect for them."
Katie came up holding a pink and black spotted bra and thong combo.
"Daddy! Buy it for me! I mean for them at work."
"No! Dammit, Katie. We're here for me to get something for my match, and for me to get a present for Mandii. Not for you to get your stripper gear. Get ya head in the game."
Sandy just notices the camera as this is going on. Despite the large XWF emblems all over it, and the camera man clearly wearing XWF gear she is confused as to what's going on.
"Excuse me, first of all why am I being filmed? Second of all, is this some sort of prank show?"
Frodo looked confused as hell, which was odd because today he had only smoked half of his breakfast Crack. He was still somewhat coherent.
"I told you. I am a wrestler in the XWF, and I'm in a Thong and Bra match against the former XTreme Champion, Mandii Rider, and I need to get the proper gear. What if I lose? How can I lose in an ugly thong, or a mismatched bra? Do you want me to go out there and look like a fool? Is that it?"
Katie put the thong and bra back on the rack and kind of slinked away, afrad of what was to come.
"Well why am I being filmed? Why is there a camera in here? And what is the XWF? Some sort of Youthtub Prank show thing?
"Youthtub? You mean Youtube? No, it's Xtreme Wrestling Federation. I'm a pro-wrestler. This guy follows me around and films my life. The fans get to see me almost all day every day. Just not Sunday, that's the lord's day."
Katie popped her head out from behind the camera man. He was shockingly tall and muscluar. Why wasn't he wrestling in the fed? He could easily kick Hunter Payne's ass.
"Dad, you're an atheist, and you smoke a lot more crack on sunday than any other day of the week."
"Yes, Katie. The lord's day. Lord of the Crack. Jesus, it's like you don't even know me."
"No! I do not consent to being filmed on your show. I will not be made a fool of. This man does not smoke crack for Jesus, and he is not a pro-wrestler."
"Actually, he is a pro-wrestler. His name is Frodo Smackins, and he does in fact wrestle for the XWF. As for smoking Crack for Jesus, I'm not sure about why he does it, but we have at least 100 hours of useless footage of him just sitting at home in his underwear watching Big Wolf on Campus while smoking crack in his special Darth Vader Crack pipe mask. It's not even funny. It's just sad. This dude just gets high and either has weird sex with random things, and people, or masturbates a lot. And not even to normal stuff. I have a video of him just jerking it dirty to a toaster. Seriously, dude got so high he was jerking off to a toaster that he kept calling Starbuck. Fucking insane."
So, the camera man finally speaks. And really, a toaster? Dammit, Frodo.
"So, that wasn't Kara Thrace? Fuck. Anyway, yeah I'm sorry I didn't explain sooner, but we can blur your face and bleep your name. Is that cool?"
"You're trying to prank me! I will call security! I want my entire identity removed from that filth! All of it!"
"Whatever. Not Sandy. We're trying to be cool here, don't be such a bitch, Not Sandy. Like anyone who want to know what your fucked up face looks like. Not Sandy who works at the Victoria's Secret off W14 mile Road."
Frodo looks into the Camera, while the camera man can be heard laughing from behind the camera.
"Listen, this is a first for me. I have been asked by security to leave that particular Victoria's Secret, and never to return. Fans at home, please help me. I need you all to go in there and mess with Not Sandy. I repeat, do not mess with Sandy, just anyone not named Sandy. Leave the woman who had me removed and banned from that establishment alone. Just harass her co-workers. Anyway, I had to go to the Frederick's of Hollywood in Dearborn to find the right outfit for Mandii. I hope she likes it, I've passed it along through the proper channels, so hopefully she gets it before the match. Mandii, if you see this, I didn't know your size. I'm sorry if it's too small, or too big. I just took a guess. Anyway, I have to go. I'm going to be on some Local talk show in Houston, so I have to fly out. Bye guyes. Bye, Mandii."
Frodo blows a few kisses into the camera. Scene fades out to Katie smacking Frodo for that shit. No daughter should ever hit their father, right?