04-27-2014, 07:12 PM
When we last left our hero, Jon Plex, he was arriving in Seattle after an interesting flight from Pittsburgh, PA. I think we all learned a few valuable lessons about how Jon Plex feels about pea-
Jon Plex
…
Err, I mean… look I don’t know what I mean, the guy beat my ass over a word. He’s unstable, but he pays my bills so it is what it is. Plex and Vincent have arrived at Key Arena where XWF has scheduled a photo shoot with Plex for their upcoming May issue of their magazine.
Jon Plex
Dude, this is awesome! I’m going to be on the cover of another magazine! First Men's Fitness, now this!
Todd Vincent
To the victor comes the spoils.
Jon Plex
Right… well I don’t know who Victor is, but he better not encroach on my cover spread!
Todd Vincent
It’s a saying…never mind.
Outside of the arena, we see a small congregation of fans who are eagerly camped out, hoping to catch a glimpse of some of XWF’s stars…I almost couldn’t say that with a straight face. Hold on… whew… ok I’m good. The fans quickly take notice of Jon Plex and begin beckoning him to come over and mingle for a moment.
Jon Plex
Aww yeah, face time with my peoples!
Sawyer Fan
Hey look it’s the sexist scumbag Jon Plex! Hey I just saw a woman voting, are you filling with anger!?
Jon Plex
What the fuck?
Plex Fan
Boo hoo! Let’s not all start burning our bras at once! Plex tells it like it is! You sheeple are just too lustfully invested to realize other.
Jon Plex
Score one for the Plexites!
Hipster Sawyer Fan
I was a Kendall fan before wrestling was even popular. She and I really connect emotionally.
Jon Plex
Todd…help.
Todd Vincent
Oh don’t worry Jon, that’s just a hipster. They are indigenous to this area. Them along with shitty coffee snobs and horrible music.
Jon Plex
Why does his facial hair look like Wyatt Earp’s?
Todd Vincent
Trust me, some things are just better left alone.
Sawyer Fan
Kendall has defeated everyone who has doubted her since coming to the XWF! She proved their is no glass ceiling for female wrestlers and after tomorrow night, she’ll be the new European champion!
Plex Fan
Please! Take the tampons out of your ears so you can hear the bullshit you are spewing! Kendall Sawyer has done nothing in the XWF besides winning last week’s battle royale. A feat, mind you, that Jon Plex also achieved. It took her a month to get recognition and a title opportunity. It took Plex a week!
Jon Plex
Man these people really know their stuff!
Todd Vincent
Maybe if you spent more time researching your opponents, you would too.
Jon Plex
Then what would I pay you for? Your beloved company? Hahaha!
Sawyer Fan
Say what you want, but the truth will reveal itself on Madness. You just don’t say those kind of hurtful things about Sawyer and get away with it! The lies and deception will come at a cost!
Jon Plex
Whoa, whoa, whoa! I never told no lies. I’m like the George Washington of advocating truth!
Sawyer Fan
Nice try Mr.Plex, but Kendall told us everything! Or should I say Mr.Julian!
Jon Plex
I am literally the most confused I have ever been, and I once took an Algebra class on acid!
Plex Fan
Just because Sawyer likes to live in the past and pretend she has faced competition equal to if not greater than Plex is her own stupid mistake. There is no comparing Plex to Julian!
Jon Plex
Look, um, sorry folks I’d love to sit here and shoot the breeze with you…
Breeze
HELP! HE’S GOT A GUN!
Jon Plex
What? No…that’s not…ahh forget it!
Breeze
CALL THE COPS!
Plex and Vincent leave the fans to their bickering and head inside the arena for the photo shoot.
Jon Plex
Man that breeze really blew things out of proportion, no pun intended.
Todd Vincent
Another catchphrase, nice.
Jon Plex
Gotta stay fresh!
Todd Vincent
Hey, I just found out the photographer is running a little late. Maybe we should pay a visit to the broadcast truck and see what exactly Sawyer had to say about you earlier.
Jon Plex
I bet that fan was stretching it just a bit. She probably said I was cute and wished me all the best of luck, oh and I bet she apologized for her vagina ruining an otherwise legitimate bout!
Todd Vincent
I sincerely doubt everything you just said, but we’ll see!
The two find their way to the XWF production truck where the Sawyer spot is just starting to repeat.
Jon Plex
Oh that’s just absurd! I never make anything up as I go along. I am unicorn and she needs to come to terms with that. I once went deep sea fishing with Clooney and Wahlberg and gave them the idea for a movie. What has Sawyer done? Have her period? Wow! So original!
Todd Vincent
….What!?
Jon Plex
Shhh, she’s talking again!
Jon Plex
If I’m not bright, then explain to me why my momma calls me “Sun?”
Todd Vincent
There’s no arguing that!
Jon Plex
The nerve! Does she even realize I bought her a shirt!?
Todd Vincent
Forget the shirt! This makes no sense to me. I’m pretty sure I did all the necessary research on her and she hasn’t faced any real competition. This Julian guy she keeps referring to you as… she never beat him. They were in a match together, but she pinned someone else. So she’s basically comparing you to someone she’s never faced 1-on-1, and alleging that victory is assured.
Jon Plex
How could she say I’m not special? She must have never met my grandma! She’ll tell you I’m special! She’s told me my whole life. Silly Sawyer, you need to find better sources before making such bold statements!
Todd Vincent
Her second match in the XWF was only 2 weeks ago and once again she didn’t do anything. The Outsiders of the nWo came out and destroyed her opponent and then let her pin him. What is there to be proud of there? I can’t believe she would even want that on her resume.
Jon Plex
Wow, she’s not really coming off as the battle tested diva she pretends to be.
Todd Vincent
The only name that is still relevant on her short list of opponents before the battle royale is Frodo Smackins and hell she didn’t pin him either! And let's be honest here... it's Frodo Smackins.
Jon Plex
So wait, I’m getting confused again dammit! She boasts about conquering all this top tier talent, but… she really hasn’t?
Todd Vincent
Dude she didn’t even eliminate anyone from the battle royale on her own, except for The Vine.
Jon Plex
Who the hell is the Vine?
Todd Vincent
Exactly. Tommy Gunn helped her every step of the way during the match, even sacrificing himself to eliminating the last competitor to ensure she won. How in the world is she even remotely confident in her abilities when they have never truly been tested? For all the smoke she blows up people’s asses, in reality she has done nothing impressive.
Jon Plex
If we are going to take a stroll down memory lane and compare each other's battle royale highlights...I eliminated Sebastian Duke, a legend of the XWF! Sawyer eliminated the Vine. The scales are favoring me it would seem.
Todd Vincent
The rest of this is just typical female blabbering. Here I was, this whole time, thinking you were being too hard on her because she is a female. Boy was I ever wrong. I apologize Jonny boy, this broad is textbook senile! She honestly believes she has proved herself her in the XWF. She has not only convinced herself, but her fans that she is a woman dominating in a traditionally male controlled world.
Jon Plex
I told you! She’s just like a woman! Always making up shit! Yet, she says I’m the one who makes things up as I go. What have I made up? I’ve won my matches, on my own, and earned my title shot. What have you REALLY done Sawyer? Stand on the shoulders of Gunn and Heyman and pretend you were tall? Your wins are an illusion. They aren’t real! The nWo handled Austin for you and Paul Heyman and Tommy Gunn made sure you won the battle royale. You want to break the mold and act as if you aren’t like most women. Well you sure are making a bad case for yourself, letting men do all the heavy lifting for you.
Todd Vincent
I’m still bewildered that she would go as far as to compare you to someone that she didn’t even defeat! Where is the merit in that statement?
Jon Plex
Forget all that! How does she plan on beating me when Paul Heyman is drooling at the mouth to acquire me? Does she not think for one second, maybe he will go to any lengths to make sure I become one of his guys? This includes making sure that I win my match, just as he made sure she won the battle royale. Sawyer, my friend here mistook you all week for someone who was educated because you like to use unnecessarily big words in place of just saying what you really want to say. I seen through you the whole time. You are simple. You can’t even see the big picture that’s right in front of you. You got in bed with the devil and now he wants a new toy. You thought you were special because he showed you some interest? Sounds like a generic woman to me. Now he’s interested in me. Maybe he decides to not interfere and let the match unfold. This will be the first time you have stepped in the ring with ACTUAL talent and had to compete on your own, no strings attached! Are you prepare for that? You can keep telling yourself that you’re ready, but come on Sawyer you know better than that. As for the Romulus jab, that’s just low hanging fruit baby. I guess you felt real good reminding me that in my moment of glory I was blindsided by him while the lights were off. I guess you’re right Sawyer. I couldn’t handle myself again the man you eliminate from the battle royale. Oh wait… you didn’t really eliminate him did you? It was Gunn whom you teamed up with to eliminate him. Once again you are caught up in your own web of lies! Now wasn’t it you who just said I was the one lying?
Plex stares at the camera with a facetious smiles
Jon Plex
Flashback humor.
XWF Employee
Mr.Plex, we are ready for you!
Todd Vincent
Fun’s over Jonny boy, time to put your face on the cover of the soon-to-be most sold copy of XWF Magazine of all time! Undefeated, two title shots, quote of the moment, and now a magazine cover. Sawyer is right again…you aren’t special.
Jon Plex
Do these jeans make my ass look fat?
Plex brandishes some really tight skinny jeans than he saw a hipster wearing earlier. Todd just shakes his head and tries to reason with him. Good luck! Warfare is less than 24 hours away and it looks like Kendall Sawyer has some ‘splaining to dooooo! Until we meet again, all hail Plex!
#moreplexplease
Jon Plex
…
Err, I mean… look I don’t know what I mean, the guy beat my ass over a word. He’s unstable, but he pays my bills so it is what it is. Plex and Vincent have arrived at Key Arena where XWF has scheduled a photo shoot with Plex for their upcoming May issue of their magazine.
Jon Plex
Dude, this is awesome! I’m going to be on the cover of another magazine! First Men's Fitness, now this!
Todd Vincent
To the victor comes the spoils.
Jon Plex
Right… well I don’t know who Victor is, but he better not encroach on my cover spread!
Todd Vincent
It’s a saying…never mind.
Outside of the arena, we see a small congregation of fans who are eagerly camped out, hoping to catch a glimpse of some of XWF’s stars…I almost couldn’t say that with a straight face. Hold on… whew… ok I’m good. The fans quickly take notice of Jon Plex and begin beckoning him to come over and mingle for a moment.
Jon Plex
Aww yeah, face time with my peoples!
Sawyer Fan
Hey look it’s the sexist scumbag Jon Plex! Hey I just saw a woman voting, are you filling with anger!?
Jon Plex
What the fuck?
Plex Fan
Boo hoo! Let’s not all start burning our bras at once! Plex tells it like it is! You sheeple are just too lustfully invested to realize other.
Jon Plex
Score one for the Plexites!
Hipster Sawyer Fan
I was a Kendall fan before wrestling was even popular. She and I really connect emotionally.
Jon Plex
Todd…help.
Todd Vincent
Oh don’t worry Jon, that’s just a hipster. They are indigenous to this area. Them along with shitty coffee snobs and horrible music.
Jon Plex
Why does his facial hair look like Wyatt Earp’s?
Todd Vincent
Trust me, some things are just better left alone.
Sawyer Fan
Kendall has defeated everyone who has doubted her since coming to the XWF! She proved their is no glass ceiling for female wrestlers and after tomorrow night, she’ll be the new European champion!
Plex Fan
Please! Take the tampons out of your ears so you can hear the bullshit you are spewing! Kendall Sawyer has done nothing in the XWF besides winning last week’s battle royale. A feat, mind you, that Jon Plex also achieved. It took her a month to get recognition and a title opportunity. It took Plex a week!
Jon Plex
Man these people really know their stuff!
Todd Vincent
Maybe if you spent more time researching your opponents, you would too.
Jon Plex
Then what would I pay you for? Your beloved company? Hahaha!
Sawyer Fan
Say what you want, but the truth will reveal itself on Madness. You just don’t say those kind of hurtful things about Sawyer and get away with it! The lies and deception will come at a cost!
Jon Plex
Whoa, whoa, whoa! I never told no lies. I’m like the George Washington of advocating truth!
Sawyer Fan
Nice try Mr.Plex, but Kendall told us everything! Or should I say Mr.Julian!
Jon Plex
I am literally the most confused I have ever been, and I once took an Algebra class on acid!
Plex Fan
Just because Sawyer likes to live in the past and pretend she has faced competition equal to if not greater than Plex is her own stupid mistake. There is no comparing Plex to Julian!
Jon Plex
Look, um, sorry folks I’d love to sit here and shoot the breeze with you…
Breeze
HELP! HE’S GOT A GUN!
Jon Plex
What? No…that’s not…ahh forget it!
Breeze
CALL THE COPS!
Plex and Vincent leave the fans to their bickering and head inside the arena for the photo shoot.
Jon Plex
Man that breeze really blew things out of proportion, no pun intended.
Todd Vincent
Another catchphrase, nice.
Jon Plex
Gotta stay fresh!
Todd Vincent
Hey, I just found out the photographer is running a little late. Maybe we should pay a visit to the broadcast truck and see what exactly Sawyer had to say about you earlier.
Jon Plex
I bet that fan was stretching it just a bit. She probably said I was cute and wished me all the best of luck, oh and I bet she apologized for her vagina ruining an otherwise legitimate bout!
Todd Vincent
I sincerely doubt everything you just said, but we’ll see!
The two find their way to the XWF production truck where the Sawyer spot is just starting to repeat.
Quote:“Oh, okay. I'm the only one who remembers Julian. The reason Plex reminds me so much of Julian is through something I would like to dub the "making things up as they go along" style of delivering what's commonly referred to as trash talk.”
Jon Plex
Oh that’s just absurd! I never make anything up as I go along. I am unicorn and she needs to come to terms with that. I once went deep sea fishing with Clooney and Wahlberg and gave them the idea for a movie. What has Sawyer done? Have her period? Wow! So original!
Todd Vincent
….What!?
Jon Plex
Shhh, she’s talking again!
Quote:“He's not very bright, is what I'm getting at.”
Jon Plex
If I’m not bright, then explain to me why my momma calls me “Sun?”
Todd Vincent
There’s no arguing that!
Quote:“However, since you appear so adamant about these claims of my inferiority to you based solely on my gender, allow me to bring you up to speed with how I know that I'm going to beat you.
It's simple. Three words, really.
You.
Aren't.
Special.
Nothing about your actual in ring talent is in the slightest bit impressive compared to what I've already faced and conquered. As a matter of fact, allow me to take you back to Wednesday, where you got laid out by none other than Romulus Heinrich Winters, my glorified verbal punching bag and a man I eliminated from the Rumble. How could you allow someone who lost to such an inferior woman to get the better of you?”
Jon Plex
The nerve! Does she even realize I bought her a shirt!?
Todd Vincent
Forget the shirt! This makes no sense to me. I’m pretty sure I did all the necessary research on her and she hasn’t faced any real competition. This Julian guy she keeps referring to you as… she never beat him. They were in a match together, but she pinned someone else. So she’s basically comparing you to someone she’s never faced 1-on-1, and alleging that victory is assured.
Jon Plex
How could she say I’m not special? She must have never met my grandma! She’ll tell you I’m special! She’s told me my whole life. Silly Sawyer, you need to find better sources before making such bold statements!
Todd Vincent
Her second match in the XWF was only 2 weeks ago and once again she didn’t do anything. The Outsiders of the nWo came out and destroyed her opponent and then let her pin him. What is there to be proud of there? I can’t believe she would even want that on her resume.
Jon Plex
Wow, she’s not really coming off as the battle tested diva she pretends to be.
Todd Vincent
The only name that is still relevant on her short list of opponents before the battle royale is Frodo Smackins and hell she didn’t pin him either! And let's be honest here... it's Frodo Smackins.
Jon Plex
So wait, I’m getting confused again dammit! She boasts about conquering all this top tier talent, but… she really hasn’t?
Todd Vincent
Dude she didn’t even eliminate anyone from the battle royale on her own, except for The Vine.
Jon Plex
Who the hell is the Vine?
Todd Vincent
Exactly. Tommy Gunn helped her every step of the way during the match, even sacrificing himself to eliminating the last competitor to ensure she won. How in the world is she even remotely confident in her abilities when they have never truly been tested? For all the smoke she blows up people’s asses, in reality she has done nothing impressive.
Jon Plex
If we are going to take a stroll down memory lane and compare each other's battle royale highlights...I eliminated Sebastian Duke, a legend of the XWF! Sawyer eliminated the Vine. The scales are favoring me it would seem.
Todd Vincent
The rest of this is just typical female blabbering. Here I was, this whole time, thinking you were being too hard on her because she is a female. Boy was I ever wrong. I apologize Jonny boy, this broad is textbook senile! She honestly believes she has proved herself her in the XWF. She has not only convinced herself, but her fans that she is a woman dominating in a traditionally male controlled world.
Jon Plex
I told you! She’s just like a woman! Always making up shit! Yet, she says I’m the one who makes things up as I go. What have I made up? I’ve won my matches, on my own, and earned my title shot. What have you REALLY done Sawyer? Stand on the shoulders of Gunn and Heyman and pretend you were tall? Your wins are an illusion. They aren’t real! The nWo handled Austin for you and Paul Heyman and Tommy Gunn made sure you won the battle royale. You want to break the mold and act as if you aren’t like most women. Well you sure are making a bad case for yourself, letting men do all the heavy lifting for you.
Todd Vincent
I’m still bewildered that she would go as far as to compare you to someone that she didn’t even defeat! Where is the merit in that statement?
Jon Plex
Forget all that! How does she plan on beating me when Paul Heyman is drooling at the mouth to acquire me? Does she not think for one second, maybe he will go to any lengths to make sure I become one of his guys? This includes making sure that I win my match, just as he made sure she won the battle royale. Sawyer, my friend here mistook you all week for someone who was educated because you like to use unnecessarily big words in place of just saying what you really want to say. I seen through you the whole time. You are simple. You can’t even see the big picture that’s right in front of you. You got in bed with the devil and now he wants a new toy. You thought you were special because he showed you some interest? Sounds like a generic woman to me. Now he’s interested in me. Maybe he decides to not interfere and let the match unfold. This will be the first time you have stepped in the ring with ACTUAL talent and had to compete on your own, no strings attached! Are you prepare for that? You can keep telling yourself that you’re ready, but come on Sawyer you know better than that. As for the Romulus jab, that’s just low hanging fruit baby. I guess you felt real good reminding me that in my moment of glory I was blindsided by him while the lights were off. I guess you’re right Sawyer. I couldn’t handle myself again the man you eliminate from the battle royale. Oh wait… you didn’t really eliminate him did you? It was Gunn whom you teamed up with to eliminate him. Once again you are caught up in your own web of lies! Now wasn’t it you who just said I was the one lying?
Plex stares at the camera with a facetious smiles
Jon Plex
Flashback humor.
XWF Employee
Mr.Plex, we are ready for you!
Todd Vincent
Fun’s over Jonny boy, time to put your face on the cover of the soon-to-be most sold copy of XWF Magazine of all time! Undefeated, two title shots, quote of the moment, and now a magazine cover. Sawyer is right again…you aren’t special.
Jon Plex
Do these jeans make my ass look fat?
Plex brandishes some really tight skinny jeans than he saw a hipster wearing earlier. Todd just shakes his head and tries to reason with him. Good luck! Warfare is less than 24 hours away and it looks like Kendall Sawyer has some ‘splaining to dooooo! Until we meet again, all hail Plex!
#moreplexplease