04-24-2014, 04:45 PM
Billy Zane pulls out his phone and dials Paul Heyman's number. He was quite unhappy, and Paul was to blame. Naturally it went straight to voice mail. That jew, Paul. Never answering his friggen phone.
Hey, Paul. It's Billy. You know, AIDs. The guy who wanted to be a Paul Heyman guy so badly you could see me staring in through your window while you sleep. It's ok you didn't pick me, I promise. I know you felt you made better choices than picking me would have been. So glad that turned out with 2/3 of your new people losing in the rumble, and not even 1 of them having the sense to enter Warfare's rumble and win that instead. I mean, why would your super team plan anything like that?
Or were they all being so loyal to you and Madness that they
up? None of them wanted in on getting two title shots for Heyman's crew because you don't like Warfare? That's like them not thinking to get a spare tyre for your auto because you don't like Goodyear. It'd make sense to prove how great your team is by having them hold the title for a show you don't even care about just to prove a point. It's ok to not think things through all the way. I mean, it's not like you told them all to enter in the same contest, did you? If so I severly hope you don't always plan this poorly.
Let's not mention how now I'm in a match against who appears to be your weakest link. The one who was out first, and keeps quitest. I'm not going to lie to you, I was hoping you'd have chosen better people to join you. Samuels was a good choice, Kendall is a good choice. Lesnar, meh. Gunn, he seems capable, but this Vellore guy. What can we say about him? That's positive? Not much. I don't want to rag on your team too much, Paul, but you could have picked a lot better. You just couldn't have picked much worse. Gilnour would have been a stronger competitor.
He pulled a knee bar on Samuels, and Samuels didn't go down. It took two other people to put Samuels down, a task Feder accomplished by himself. Are you saying that Vellore is 1/3 of the man Feder is? Because that's what I'm getting from it. Congrats, together your team equals one Sid Feder. Except the Feder that took Samuels down was one legged, so actually your guys are only equal to a one legged Feder. Good going, instead of getting 3 people not equal to a full man you could have got the not full man and two other useful people. Jesus, you didn't plan well at all. You don't seem to. That's probably why the holocause happened.
Look, I'm straying from my point. The thing is you make terrible choices, and signing me could have reversed that string of bad choices. Its fine. We all make mistakes, it's how we handle them that matters. After I crush Vellore on Monday I hope you make the right call and hit me back up. It's not too late to fix what you did. Keep Kendall, though, she may amount to something if she can stop being a Diaz knock off minus the multiple lesbian personalities. Actually, scratch that, you'd probably be better off getting Diaz on your team. I know she hates you, but she's a better fit that Kendall. At least she's not a knock off. Like I said, we can move on from this, I promise.
I'm going to cut this short, it's not that I don't want to keep going, but there's a marathon of Game of Thrones on and I don't want to miss any of it. Danny Targarean is pretty awesome. And I hope nothing bad happens to Khal Drogo, he's my favourite. If you call me back and spoil the show I will make it a personal mission to break your jaw. I will go Phantom on your ass. Did you see that movie? You should."[/purple.
Billy hung up the phone, walked into his illustrious kitchen and prepared a sandwhich, not just any sandwhich, though. The sandwhich that Ally Sheedy ate in Breakfast Club, because that movie is awesome and so is Ally Sheedy. He also retrieved a nice cold Dr. Pepper because a man who doesn't drink Dr. Pepper is hardly a man at all. After his lunch was prepared he sat down and enjoyed his Game of Thrones season 1 marathon. Until the end, when it ended he cried horribly so.
[purple]What do we say to the god of shitty endings? Not today. Unless today we finished season 1 of Game of Thrones. That was an abysmal ending. Fuck you, George R.R. Martine.
Hey, Paul. It's Billy. You know, AIDs. The guy who wanted to be a Paul Heyman guy so badly you could see me staring in through your window while you sleep. It's ok you didn't pick me, I promise. I know you felt you made better choices than picking me would have been. So glad that turned out with 2/3 of your new people losing in the rumble, and not even 1 of them having the sense to enter Warfare's rumble and win that instead. I mean, why would your super team plan anything like that?
Or were they all being so loyal to you and Madness that they
up? None of them wanted in on getting two title shots for Heyman's crew because you don't like Warfare? That's like them not thinking to get a spare tyre for your auto because you don't like Goodyear. It'd make sense to prove how great your team is by having them hold the title for a show you don't even care about just to prove a point. It's ok to not think things through all the way. I mean, it's not like you told them all to enter in the same contest, did you? If so I severly hope you don't always plan this poorly.Let's not mention how now I'm in a match against who appears to be your weakest link. The one who was out first, and keeps quitest. I'm not going to lie to you, I was hoping you'd have chosen better people to join you. Samuels was a good choice, Kendall is a good choice. Lesnar, meh. Gunn, he seems capable, but this Vellore guy. What can we say about him? That's positive? Not much. I don't want to rag on your team too much, Paul, but you could have picked a lot better. You just couldn't have picked much worse. Gilnour would have been a stronger competitor.
He pulled a knee bar on Samuels, and Samuels didn't go down. It took two other people to put Samuels down, a task Feder accomplished by himself. Are you saying that Vellore is 1/3 of the man Feder is? Because that's what I'm getting from it. Congrats, together your team equals one Sid Feder. Except the Feder that took Samuels down was one legged, so actually your guys are only equal to a one legged Feder. Good going, instead of getting 3 people not equal to a full man you could have got the not full man and two other useful people. Jesus, you didn't plan well at all. You don't seem to. That's probably why the holocause happened.
Look, I'm straying from my point. The thing is you make terrible choices, and signing me could have reversed that string of bad choices. Its fine. We all make mistakes, it's how we handle them that matters. After I crush Vellore on Monday I hope you make the right call and hit me back up. It's not too late to fix what you did. Keep Kendall, though, she may amount to something if she can stop being a Diaz knock off minus the multiple lesbian personalities. Actually, scratch that, you'd probably be better off getting Diaz on your team. I know she hates you, but she's a better fit that Kendall. At least she's not a knock off. Like I said, we can move on from this, I promise.
I'm going to cut this short, it's not that I don't want to keep going, but there's a marathon of Game of Thrones on and I don't want to miss any of it. Danny Targarean is pretty awesome. And I hope nothing bad happens to Khal Drogo, he's my favourite. If you call me back and spoil the show I will make it a personal mission to break your jaw. I will go Phantom on your ass. Did you see that movie? You should."[/purple.
Billy hung up the phone, walked into his illustrious kitchen and prepared a sandwhich, not just any sandwhich, though. The sandwhich that Ally Sheedy ate in Breakfast Club, because that movie is awesome and so is Ally Sheedy. He also retrieved a nice cold Dr. Pepper because a man who doesn't drink Dr. Pepper is hardly a man at all. After his lunch was prepared he sat down and enjoyed his Game of Thrones season 1 marathon. Until the end, when it ended he cried horribly so.
[purple]What do we say to the god of shitty endings? Not today. Unless today we finished season 1 of Game of Thrones. That was an abysmal ending. Fuck you, George R.R. Martine.