Universal Studios
Hollywood, California
The office of Bob Dilmore.


The meeting between Theo Pryce and Bob Dilmore, Executive Vice President of New Projects at Universal Studios has just gone past the 3 hour mark. While Theo and Bob have no doubt been exchanging ideas and possibly even financial figures, Theo’s lackey Jimmy Durance has been sitting, in the waiting area attached to Bob’s office. The only other person in the waiting area is Bob’s secretary, a red head with hair only eclipsed in length by her long slender legs.

Upon arriving to Bob’s office, and meeting Bob’s secretary for the first time Theo practically begged Jimmy to make a move on the secretary. Not only was she attractive but she seemed completely flustered by Theo’s appearance. One would think living and working in Hollywood would mean you are accustomed to seeing the best looking people day in and day out and yet when Theo walked through the doors it was like she had never seen anything so amazing. Though the only words she could muster were a pleasant hello, her eyes told the story. She wanted Theo, she wanted Theo bad but Theo was going to do the improbable, the unthinkable, he was going to give Jimmy first crack, because, why the hell not?

As the doors of Bob Dilmore’s office finally open, signaling the end of the marathon talks, both men walk out, Bob all smiles while Theo’s face remains more neutral. The two men shake hands and agree to talk again after Theo returns from London. As Theo makes his way across the room he takes another glance at the red head behind the desk and of course is met with a smile and a brush of the hair. Of course the reactions although somewhat subtle are obvious enough for Jimmy who while now standing by the exit sighs in defeat. It must be so easy for him is the prevailing thought running through Jimmy’s head as his boss makes his way across the waiting area and towards the elevators where Jimmy is waiting.


“Alright Jimmy, let’s blow this fruitstand. And you, hot red head behind the desk. You have my number, call it sometimes.”


Theo and Jimmy both get in the elevator and as the doors close Theo takes one last look at Bob’s secretary and sees that his parting words left her flustered and red faced.


“Mission accomplished.”

“You are making a movie?”

“What? No you dolt. You are so fucking naive sometimes. The secretary.”

“What about her?”

“She’s going to be calling my soon.”

“How do you know that?”

“For the same reasons I know that while I sat there in that meeting for 3 hours you didn’t say one word to her. Not one. Not even hello, or goodbye. You sat there like Charlie fucking Chaplin didn’t you?”

“Yes.”

“I fucking knew it. You are such a pussy. How have you managed to get laid at all? Are you the Flash or something? Are you able to swoop in at the last second and catch some falling woman with your cock? Or do you frequent glory holes?”

“Glory what sir?”

“Never mind. Look Jimmy, after we get back from London I am giving you some time off.”

“Are you firing me?”

“Firing you? Heaven’s no. I can’t fire you. I’ll die before I fire you. You are the only person I know that is too much of a pussy to turn me into the Better Business Bureau for the litany of things I have done to you. I need you around. If I get rid of you I’ll have no one. No one, Jimmy. And I need someone.”

“Understood sir. Then thank you for the time off.”

“Oh don’t thank me yet Jimmy. You are going to have a homework assignment during your week long vacation.”

“I am?”

“You are. During that week I want you to hang out at various bars and people watch. I want you to pay attention to the interactions between the men and the women. I also want you to watch the top 10 chick flicks because there are usually a plethora of pick up lines for guys like you.”

“Guys like me sir?”

“Guys whose testicles ascend the second they see a woman.”

“Got it sir. And where am I to figure out the top 10 chick flicks?”

“The same way anyone in the world figures anything else out. Google.”


As the elevator comes to a halt on the ground floor and the doors begin to open Theo’s face goes from one of calm to one of unabashed excitement as standing on the other side of the elevator’s openings is none other than Five Time Grammy Nominated Singer Sara Bareilles. Immediately Sara recognizes Theo and tries to do that thing where you half cover your face with your hand and then look down at the ground hoping the person that you recognized didn’t see you, but this time, it didn’t work. And boy was Theo thankful that it didn’t. For anyone who was not around for Theo’s last adventure to the City of Angels, let’s recap:

Theo traveled to the Staples Center where Sara Bareilles was to play a concert.

The reason for the trip? Theo wanted Sara to write a song about commemorating his winning the XWF crown. Apparently she has a song called "The King of Anything" and in Theo's warped mind that meant she could write a song about him.

Sara declined the offer because, surprise surprise, Theo was an asshole.

A few days later an LAPD officer shows up at Pryce Industries with a restraining order that Sara had taken out stating that Theo was not allowed within 100 yards of Ms. Bareilles. Something, at the time Theo figured would never be an issue.

And that takes us to now:


“Sara Bareilles, oh no, please don’t call the police on me. I swear, I wasn’t stalking you.”

“It’s ok. I’m sure you weren’t.”

“Seriously, please don’t call the 5-O. I need to catch a plane to London.”

“Then perhaps you should do that Mr.Pryce.”

“Please, my friends, and people with restraining orders on me call me Theo.”

"I’m sure they do. Well, have a good day Mr. Pryce.”


As Sara hastily enters the elevator and pushes whatever button she needs to, to get away from Theo as quickly as possible, meanwhile Theo and Jimmy traverse the lobby and exit the building and head towards their vehicle.


“What was that all about sir? I take it you know her?”

“I tried to proposition her for some work and she shot me down. Whatever, her music isn’t even that great.”

“I don’t know, I kind of like it.”

“Oh do you Jimmy? Do you kind of like it? Well maybe you should have asked for her autograph. Oh that’s right, that would require you to actually talk to a woman and we all know how well you do that.”

“Sir while you were in your meeting I received a call from a Haden Oliver Thomas, apparently he is going to be joining us on our flight to London. He said that you and he worked that out already. Is that true?”

“Yes it is Jimmy. You see, Haden is the reason you are getting a week off, he is going to be my Court Jester for the next two weeks, part of that involves him dancing on stage at XWF events, the other part involves him being you at the office.”

“You are replacing me?”

“For two weeks Jimmy, calm down, I already told you I’d never fire you. Now stop your whining and let’s get the hell out of this fuck hole of a city.”

Fade out.