| “Daddy’s Fallen Angel” by In This Moment plays. |
JOEY STYLES: “Peter Gilmour’s had quite a lot on his plate recently, but tonight, he gets a bite of the pint-sized fighter, Frodo Smackins.”
DON GROSS: “Might I recommend Peter order an entrée? Those pint-sized appetizers are just not quite filling enough.”
| “Jelly Inside” by MC Chris plays. |
JOEY STYLES: “Well, looks like Mr. Eldred’s unethical practices worked! Frodo is going to compete tonight!”
DON GROSS: “Yes, and if he finishes fast enough, he might have time to elude the Indianapolis police department!”
Peter Gilmour
- vs -
Frodo Smackins
X-Treme Rules
|
Right out of the gate, Gilmour charges Frodo and attempts to take the little guy’s head off with a running judo kick, but Frodo easily ducks under Gilmour’s foot. He counters with a stiff straight punch to Gilmour’s throat! But Pete’s not that easily swayed – he ignores the pain and throttles Frodo, wrapping his hands around Smackins’s neck and lifting him off the ground! He tosses the hobbit-sized challenger nearly halfway across the ring!
He walks over to the fallen Frodo and delivers some kicks to the ribs before performing a body splash into a cover!
1
…
Kick out just before 2!
Frodo shoves Gilmour away and slides out of the ring under the bottom rope. Gilmour follows in hot pursuit. Seeing this, Frodo quickly hits Gilmour with a drop toe hold, causing Peter to slam face-first into the hard floor. Frodo takes advantage, stomping Gilmour’s head into the floor before pulling him back onto two feet. Frodo then whips Gilmour toward the steel steps, but Peter vaults over them, landing safely on the opposite side! But here comes Frodo, who uses the steps to launch himself at Gilmour with an elevated body press!
With Gilmour down, Frodo lifts the covering of the ring apron, and pulls out a table from beneath the ring! He sets it up ringside, but in doing so, doesn’t notice Peter getting back to his feet. Gilmour catches Frodo off-guard with a sudden clubbing blow to the back of the head! Peter then slams Frodo’s head into the barricade! Now wobbling, Frodo is too dazed to counter Gilmour, who lifts Frodo up onto his shoulder! A powerbomb through the table!
Peter leaps to his feet with a triumphant roar! Suddenly, Frodo’s accomplice, Crack, begins to approach Gilmour, but Pete scares him off with an angry glance before tossing Frodo back into the ring. But Peter doesn’t immediately follow Frodo back inside the ropes. Rather, he himself digs under the ring. What’s this? He’s got a kendo stick!
Gilmour rolls into the ring and waits for Frodo to rise. When the little guy finally gets back on his feet, Peter charges and swings for the fucking fences! Frodo ducks, sending Peter off balance. Frodo hits Gilmour with a quick gut punch, which causes Gilly to drop the kendo stick, followed by a DDT, driving Peter’s head into the mat! He follows up with a knee drop across Gilmour’s throat and then hooks the leg!
1
…
2
…
Gilmour kicks out, tossing Frodo clean off of himself! Frodo scrambles over to wrap Gilmour up in a rear chinlock, but Peter powers out with a series of elbows to the abdomen, which is then followed by a vicious clothesline! With Frodo down, Peter bounces off the ropes and, with a roar, executes a fist drop onto Frodo’s face! There is the sound of a slight crunch, and blood begins to dribble out of Frodo’s nose as the little guy scrambles for the safety of the corner!
Frodo, leaning in the corner, bears witness as Peter, riding on adrenaline, rushes toward him. Frodo quickly vaults himself over Peter, who, from the momentum, accidentally runs chest first into the corner turnbuckles! Falling backwards, he is scooped into a schoolboy pin by Frodo!
1
…
2
…
Peter kicks out just in time! And now he’s really pissed!
Gilmour climbs onto his feet, only to be met with a sudden spear from Frodo! But there’s not enough power behind it! Frodo bounces off and rolls backwards onto his feet. Gilmour laughs in his face and charges forward with a clothesline. Frodo quickly gets back to his feet, and Gilmour attempts another clothesline, but Frodo rolls under his arm, and in the process snatches the kendo stick from earlier! Peter turns just in time to receive a kendo stick smack across the forehead! He’s been busted open!
With Gilmour down, Frodo approaches from the rear and uses the kendo stick to choke Peter out! Gilmour struggles for a moment or two before he begins to fade. His arms slowly drop to his sides, and Frodo screams for the ref to check him!
The ref lifts Peter’s arm…
And it drops! 1!
He lifts it again!
And it limply falls to the mat! That’s 2!
The ref lifts Gilmour’s arm for the last time and drops it…
It’s falling…
Falling…
Falling…
And stops! Peter’s still conscious! He waggles his fist wildly in the air, looking to build some momentum, but Frodo ends his build up with a sudden knee strike to the side of Gilmour’s head! Pete drops to the mat.
With time on his side, Frodo decides it’s time to take a risk: he climbs to the top rope and screeches out into the open air, with the crowd responding with a large pop! They’re loving this little drunk fella! As Peter slowly makes it to his feet, Frodo issues one final yell to the heavens before leaping off! He catches Peter’s throat in mid air, looking to deliver his finisher, the Flying Choke Slam! But Peter suddenly executes a straight kick…right to Frodo’s nads!
The short man crashes to the floor and crumples into the fetal position. Peter, seeing his chance, picks up the kendo stick. He calmly walks over to the fallen Frodo and measures up his swing like a lumberjack about to chop some wood. And then…
He brings the kendo stick down onto Frodo’s kidneys! Again and again and again! The kendo stick splinters and Peter roars! The crowd goes nuts! Running on pure adrenaline, Peter swipes his palm across his bleeding forehead, and then marks his chest with his own blood like some madman warrior!
Frodo, now shaking from the damage, makes it to his knees. Gilmour sizes him up, holding the kendo stick out like a fencer, and makes one final swing, bringing the splintered wooden sword-stick down onto Frodo’s head, cutting the poor guy right open! With blood gushing from both their bodies, Peter drops on top of Frodo for the exhausted pin!
1
…
2
…
3!
Gilmour rolls off of Frodo in gleeful victory.
JOEY STYLES: “Wait, here comes the officer from before! And he’s got some backup.”
DON GROSS: “Looks like Frodo’s twenty minutes are up!”
The officer, along with three other uniformed policemen, approach the ring. Gilmour, seeing this, gladly drags the semi-conscious Frodo over to the apron and kicks his defeated opponent under the ropes. Frodo tumbles to the outside, where the officers snatch him up and slap on the cuffs. Then, the four men, two holding Frodo’s shoulders aloft and the other two each holding a leg, carry the pint-sized wrestler backstage.
The camera shifts to the parking lot, where two officers toss Frodo head-first into the back of a squad car. The leading officer leans against the hood nonchalantly, looking like he’s waiting for something. Oddly enough, the two officers in back don’t slam the back door shut. They too seem as though they’re waiting.
The angle suddenly turns 180 degrees to see the fourth officer leading another man toward the car in handcuffs.
JOEY STYLES: “It’s Michael McBride! Eldred’s sold him out!”
DON GROSS: “He sold Michael’s freedom to get that match out of Frodo Smackins!”
JOEY STLYES: “But he has a match tonight, too! I smell some favoritism from the General Manager, Donnie!”
DON GROSS: “No, that’d be the burrito I had earlier, Joey. Never trust gas station food.”
McBride struggles against the arresting officer, who holds the Irishman steady as he spouts a string of very clever curses.
MCBRIDE: “Oi, let me go, ye feckin’ wanker! Ye don’t know who yer messin’ wit here, lad!”
OFFICER: “I think I do. You’re under arrest, Michael McBride, for the unauthorized trafficking of illegal firearms, as well as acts of terrorism.”
JOEY STYLES: “He must be referring to the car bomb McBride threatened Paul Heyman with.”
With little pomp or ceremony, the officer tosses McBride into the back of the squad car, where McBride settles in beside the delirious Frodo Smackins. The two lock eyes, but for some reason, McBride doesn’t look too worried.
The camera shifts to inside the back seat of the police car. Two of the officers take the front seats and switch on the lights. McBride smirks at Frodo, who shoots back a suspicious eyebrow-raise. McBride winks and is all smiles.
The officer turns the key in the ignition. The motor stutters…and comes to a halt. He tries again. No luck. The engine won’t start.
OFFICER: “Oh, you gotta be kiddin’ me. This damn freezing weather!”
The two officers exit the vehicle. Out of their direct line of sight, McBride suddenly slips his cuffed hands under his feet, thereby allowing him free access to his front pocket. He pulls out a small, remote-looking device. Whistling an old Irish tune, he presses a button on the device.
From outside the vehicle, we see the officers pop the hood…just in time for a mild flash-bang explosion to knock them off their feet and into unconsciousness!
From afar, there comes the sound of footsteps, as a man approaches the fallen officers and chuckles. The man then opens the back door to the squad car, and McBride leaps out in triumph.
MICHAEL MCBRIDE: “Ah, Connor! I knew ye weren’t just pullin’ me leg when you decided this ‘ere car needed a good riggin’!”
CONNOR MCBRIDE: “Ye git! Ye know I never trust a man wearin’ black n’ tan!”
The bothers clap each other on the back and chuckle to themselves. Without missing a beat, McBride closes the back door of the police vehicle with the heel of his boot, trapping Frodo Smackins inside. The still-fuzzy-headed Frodo protests in anger, but his cries cannot be heard above the Irishmen laughing.
CONNOR MCBRIDE: “Come on, then. Ye got a match, dontcha?”
As the brothers walk back toward the arena, Frodo's silent cries still cannot be heard.
Madness fades into commercial.
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